I’m feeling guilt and anxiety over potentially leaving my job for a similar position elsewhere. I’m tempted because even though the new offer isn’t really a career/industry change like I’m wanting long term, the comp increase will allow me to afford things I’ve been dreaming of (my own apt, a dog). The guilt comes from my team being understaffed (although a position under me is open), my boss who I care for going on pat leave in 2 months, and growth opps I’ve been promised on my team. Thoughts?

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Women are not told that it is OK to be selfish enough.

It is OK to be selfish and think of your needs first. You have the right to make choices to fulfill your dreams.

You are trading your time for money. You are not responsible for other people’s emotions or stress levels.

Be selfish. Take care of yourself first.

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Before switching, check out the new company's work culture, and if it's compatible with you... Go for it! Help your team select a suitable replacement and grow!

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Yeah this is actually a good way to relieve some of that guilt - just really set them up for success, and send some thank you notes! You can leave gracefully and it's not personal to them, but it's a very personal decision for you.

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Anecdotal but I made what I thought would be a similar move a year and a half ago and found that the recognition I was missing was there—just needed the right manager and opportunity to realize it. If your current organization doesn’t appreciate you, you owe them nothing.

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Agreed what everyone else has said above about not letting you let guilt hold you back. When it comes to making more money, I’ve found that the best way to do that is move companies. You can grind away at the same company for years, and may be even manage to get 5-10% raises, but the best way to make significant increases is go to a new company where they really put value on what you bring coming in. Too many companies don’t value their existing employees enough because unless they have solid recognition and rewards programs in place it’s too easy to not recognize the new skills and value existing employees are building over time.

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I felt this guilt as I was deciding to leave, but once I informed my team I immediately knew it was the right decision and NEVER looked back.
My old manager’s reaction was very petty and reinforced that jobs are contracts and we all need to do what’s best for us.
There’s a reason your team is short-staffed and it’s never correlates with the company “appreciating you” to the same extent as the effort expected of you.

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This is so helpful thank you

Oh the guilt in this way should never hold you back! What you want to make sure of is that you're moving in a good direction, and a very similar thing with more comp isn't a bad decision-maker.

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You have to do what you want to do and what you know is best for you. That is the best way to respect your workplace - otherwise you will be resentful, no matter how hard you try not to be.

You have to do what’s best for you. If you get an offer from the other company, maybe you can leverage that to get a raise from your current company? But don’t feel guilty for your company because your company won’t tell guilty for you.

I’d encourage you think about what prompted you to start looking in the first place. There’s something there as to why you took the call from the other firm initially. This is helpful to understand what’s important to you either from a values or culture perspective and what is missing for you from your current organization.

Our team has been under staffed for the past year and I feel overworked and stressed and it’s bleeding in to my non-work time. It’s been three years with my company and I’m also just looking for a change

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