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You guys make it too hard to work with you. If I cuss, then you like to throw out "sexual harassment". If I don't cuss, the you throw out "sex discrimination". If I stay quiet for FEAR of either, then you claim exclusion and a "hostile work environment". It's gotten to the point where I can't even correct you citing authoritative text and peer-reviewed research without fearing for my job. HR is full of women and people who fear lawsuits, then you wonder why we are afraid of being alone in a room with you?
I agree with lots of you above - it’s just uncomfortable to be singled out in a group for special treatment with the apology (and laughable since I swear as much or more). It’s usually done by older men, so I just chalk it up to positive intent and more traditional attitudes. A little patronizing but I don’t think any of us is saying this is a huge deal. D1, it’s not helpful just to tell someone they have no right to make a mild complaint, seeking to commiserate in this forum. Just move on to the next post and stop making all of us from D look like asses.
But wowza P1, get a grip. It sounds like you are really traumatized by having to work with The Ladies. If you find it so difficult to operate in a coed workplace, living in constant dread of being sued or fired for your behavior, maybe you should find a new job (or better yet, a time machine to take you back to the 1950s).
Yes!!! So true. It’s really annoying, we’re back in the 60s when women were seen as these frail, weak, easily blushing creatures.
D1 is triggered. ❄️ Agree OP, same experience here!
Just start cussing. They will get the message.
PwC where did OP say anything about harassment? And please give me an example of cussing being considered sexual harassment.
D1 I love it when people share an experience and are immediately told to be quiet about it from somebody it triggers. Let people vent! There’s always someone with a worse experience somewhere, we get that. That does not invalidate OP’s.
Such a good thread to use as an example for typical responses to a general observation. “People apologize for cussing around me but not men”. “I AM AFRAID TO BE IN A ROOM ALONE WITH YOU!” “I will immediately invalidate your experience and tell you why you’re wrong!"
So equal treatment at all times - careful what you wish for
Why don’t men get that respect?
- human
D1 is doubling down on being willfully obtuse. You’ve got to admire that perseverance.
Honestly, I’ve been on some projects with VERY Southern clients that do this, and if that’s the case the case here, I would chalk this once up to knowing your client’s culture and adapting to it.
Perhaps this is out of respect and courtesy, not because they don’t think that you can “take it?” I view it as a good thing if the presence of a another person (female, male, co-worker or someone I am paying a lot of money to have around me) reminds me that I have been acting like a pig and gets me to change my behavior to be more becoming. But maybe that’s just me.
Nobody should be cussing. In front of anyone.
Agree with D4. But if you do cuss treat everyone the same. If you aren’t going to apologize to a guy don’t apologize to a woman. It’s really that simple
I’ve been in situations where an older male client, Southern and one of the kindest people I’ve worked with apologized for cussing. While flattering that he thought I was a delicate lady it made being around him really difficult because I cuss like a sailor. It really limited my vocabulary. Every other word was “very” and “terrible” which doesn’t convey the same gravity and urgency as “hella” or “bullshit.”
No one is saying they are disadvantaged or harmed, seriously dude. No one is saying she is a “victim.” Not sure where these straw men are coming from, but you seem to have issues with women having a right to mildly complain about something.
To be clear, we’re just saying it’s annoying to be singled out based on antiquated stereotypes (ie women don’t like swearing). Sort of like if we started talking about “feelings” and apologized to the lone man in the room for doing so.
Accenture 2 - do the same for women as you would for men. I hold doors open for anyone after me
Lead with example...Start cussing your team members as soon as you enter the meeting room so that your clients know they don’t have to worry about keeping themselves in check.
A plight for victimhood? What are you even talking about? I personally am not a victim and never claimed to be - I am successful leader in my firm, with my clients. And, as I mentioned, I have respectful and enjoyable relationships with the many men I work with. We joke around together AND get shit done - no lawsuits or arrests or firings involved - because we treat each other like humans.
The whole point is that a woman OP made a reasonable complaint (which many of us could sympathize with) and you interpreted it like a crazy Men’s Rights Activist and started talking about how you find it scary to interact with women in the workplace. Clearly a woman wronged you somewhere along the line, which I’m sorry to hear.
D1 progressives have an entire set of issues preventing them from being elected, agree. There was no claim of sexism here. No claim of harmful people. No complaint of being apologized to in and of itself. She simply shared an observation about her own experience. And was immediately invalidated.