I’m from a low-income family, the only one who went to college) and already make more @25 (140k) than my blue-collar parents ever did in their life. There is clear resentment, judgment, jealousy from family regards to my life/ income to where I stopped sharing vacation plans/ posting about my adventures. Has anyone else been in this position? How do you manage it?

likeupliftinghelpful
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I manage it by having rich parents 💃

likefunnysmartuplifting

Plot twist, you’re adopted

funny

I’m in the same boat as you but my parents and family are very proud of me and no matter how much I make, they’ll love me the same. Hope it works out for ya

likeuplifting

Right, I think it comes down to poor parents and rich parents can be crappy parents, who are jealous of their children!

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I'm in the same boat regarding my extended family. My parents are proud and don't ask for much although I know they need it. However, I find it very difficult to support myself and 2 others. What I have left is good for small adventures here and there but but not a life support.

My plan is to try to get my sibling a good job. That way both of us can chip in. Try to allocate some funds to yourself, your savings and to your family if you are able. It's insane to ask for you to fully support them but help in any way you can. I wish you all the best.

I hate that feeling too. We live in a generation where parents are paying for the kids' marriages and downpayment on houses while people from low-income have no safety net and can barely get up on our own two feet yet need to bring others up as well. However, think of it as you were chosen for this mission. You got this.

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Well said

The important question: how do you make $140k at 25? 👀

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Stopped reading the comments here due to toxicity. I grew up poor and I deal with jealousy and judgement from my immediate family as a result of it. At the end of the day, the career success and income level I’ve achieved is a result of the hard work done , sacrifices made and chances taken along the way. I don’t talk about how much I make, but I’m not too shy about having and doing the things that make me happy, or having the ability to do so. You deserve to be proud of your accomplishments, and if your family can’t be proud they created the conditions and the person that made that possible, f**k em.

likehelpful

As a parent, I want my kids to be more successful than their parents (however they define success as long as it isn't living in my basement). I work in consulting to provide that opportunity to them. I would never resent my kids for earning, as long as they remained humble

likeuplifting

@EY2 I've been a consultant for 8 years, and sometimes still fear that my peers can "smell the poor on me".

Same boat here. I come from Southern Europe and I currently make in a month as much as my parents make in a year.
I can see how proud they are of the fact that I am building a great life for me and my wife (and in the future our kids/their grandkids).

OP, I’m sorry to hear that your family is not that supportive. You should be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished. The odds were against you and you overcame them.

In terms of what to do, share your happiness only with people that can feel happy for you when you do. You should never feel ashamed of your achievements.

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Similar experience as well, but it being my middle brother and the aunts, uncles and cousins. My brother and cousins grew up with the same upbringing, but also did not take advantage of the opportunities presented to them. I both worked and went to school full time to support myself.

Before both my parents passed away - they told me they were proud of all that I accomplished. That’s enough for me to not give a FLUFF what everyone else thinks. I buy nice things once in awhile, but I don’t flaunt or look down on people. I just do me and take care of my own family.

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I also am from a low income family but am blessed to not have experienced that kind of resentment from family. I have no advice but please know that I am very sorry that you are experiencing this. I can’t even begin to imagine what that must be like. But as one that also rose from nothing, I know what a challenge that is and though a stranger, I’m proud of you for what you have accomplished!

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My husband has the same experience. Both of his brothers are on welfare (although one is a scam artist who sends his wife and 2 children to Thailand so she can get a boob job). It is unfortunate, my husband doesn’t share our successes like buying a nice house and we don’t tell them much about our vacations. If we do they ask us to pay for their taxes and other nonsense. The advice I can give you is don’t let them bring you down. Live your life, include them where you can (because they are your family) and just understand they live a very different life from you.

likefunny

Continue to post and just block them from your post. I just bought a new car and I knew they would be judgy. Sister asked what kind of car and I left her on read.

funnylike

My sister just told me she had a chin waxing. I left her on read. But, to be fair, it’s tax season.

funnylike

I'll go on fun trips and post stuff with you pal. Live mas.

But in all seriousness, don't let negativity put you down on living life and posting adventures. You can't choose family, but you CAN choose to be close with people who support you and your lifestyle.

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That’s a good question. Here are some thoughts help your family when you can and humble yourself. Believe it or not I’m sure they sacrificed their future for you in some capacity. So have compassion, don’t overly share your success and have some discernment about what is helpful for them rather than harmful. Remember to think of others more highly than yourself.

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Your first problem is posting and sharing vacation plans. Gotta keep nice* stuff to yourself, too much envy out there.

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Are you able to find a way to support your parents that is healthy for both of you? I also have parents / a sibling who are below median US income. I support some good causes (eg, their counseling or one-off medical needs, home repair after flooding) which creates a tremendous amount of goodwill towards my newfound professional success.

I will say that some things still set their class rift radar off - the sight of a used Rolex that I received as a gift, hearing how much we pay for rent - so I try to avoid these areas.

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I lived most of my life broke. Single mom from a broke family with Zero pedigree. I’m the first in all my generations to attend college, let alone finish with a degree. They’re good, hard-working people, for the most part, but never offered a single clue how to make money. I’m good though. Figured it out myself.

I don’t like to brag about my fun and travels because I don’t want to hurt them. But that’s mostly in my own mind. They are all very happy and proud for me, not jealous, except playfully.

Maybe you need to consider how you are relating to them. Are you flaunting your lifestyle? Honoring the priceless life lessons they have given you? Do you offer to pick up a tab once in a while? If you are behaving selfishly, I don’t think it’s fair to expect your family to be generous with their esteem.

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I’ve refused to talk about my salary # to family.. I usually shift the conversation to “if I broke down my salary by the actual hours I work, then I’m probably making minimum wage”… total BS but it’s relatable, no resentments, and we all get a laugh … some other members have no idea how much I make and will offer to “help out with student loans and other expenses” (ofc I never accept- living debt free) 😂

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My entire family thinks that because I'm an engineer, I can afford to do the same things they (no education but now own their own companies) are able to do, such as going on a 3 week vacation, etc.

However, I do still deposit money into my mother's account (even prior to my father's death) and she is unaware of that additional amount, as she isn't able to check online herself.

I do take care of any large repairs for her, and have always been at her beck and call for anything she needs (ESL).

I am a first gen American, child of immigrants, and they came from homelessness and clawed their way up to give me what I have now. Regardless of how toxic they may be - I owe everything to my parents.

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Here for the answers as I haven’t figured this one out and I’m in my late thirties

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Well I share a big part of my salary with my parents who don’t manage to provide for themselves

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You do you. I don't post too much on social media though just once in a while. Or don't announce the things I'm doing

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Is that combined their whole life that they've made less than 140k??

I still share what I do but just don't brag. My cousins brag. A lot. And they're not much liked. They sometimes seem to do it on purpose. They'll brag about something right after some posts about going through something that affects their finances negatively. Don't be that person.

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