I’m in my early 30s, have two children , and am on the cusp of divorce. Should I just buy all of the cats now or what’s the honest truth about a take 2 at the finding love thing?

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First of all cats are awesome! 30 is still young. Get a cat and spark a romance! Thanks

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Hi OP. Sorry to hear.

Firstly, I think early 30’s is very very young. Also you’re a mom and that is impressive as hell. You need a nap and a glass of wine and a hug. Whatever you’re about to do — cannot be harder than being a mom.

And while I’m sure you have considered, but if you haven’t gone this route, even just for you I suggest therapy. Been very effective for me personally and my husband (your age, no kiddos) — we have gone first individually and then together. There were some moments (ok months, ok like 18) where I wasn’t sure we would make it. Not every marriage or people of course are meant forever. There’s nothing wrong with recognizing you need to make a change to be happier, and I actually say it takes a lot of guts to do it.

I have divorced friends who have found they are a lot more clear-headed about what they want and need, and being open and honest from the start they feel helps their next relationships be more successful. The most successful ones though did take a hiatus for ~4-6 months post divorce though.

likeupliftinghelpful

Like focus on kids only for next 10 years? That won't be good for anyone.

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In this climate, I would not recommend buying all the cats at once. You may consider spreading out the purchases, two this year, three next year, etc.

likefunny

Why would you assume I’m a man just because my joke is good?

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I just got remarried in October at 35. Worked out well for me!!!

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Many people don’t even get married until their mid thirties at least

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Oh I see what you mean. You don’t want to marry someone who wouldn’t accept your kids anyway

OP...sup?

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🎶 So you can tell your friend shoot your shot when you see em
It's ok, she already in my DMs 🎶

upliftinglike

I pray you don't have to divorce and your marriage works out with an abundance of blessings for you and your family

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In the spirit of moral support - I am dating a very sexy divorced dad of a teenage girl. We are both 36. It's not anything I ever planned but from the beginning I was hooked on him. The most important thing for me was knowing he was ready to date...not the fact he had a kid and an ex. He shared with me a couple times that he thought he was done for in terms of relationships (eg who was gonna date a dude raising a girl by himself full-time).

I believe being at peace with one's situation is one of the most important healing steps. It's corny. But true - at least for me personally.

You will get there. It will be good on the other side. It takes more strength to leave a stalled relationship than stay, especially when you have kids.

One of my best friends is going thru a divorce right now - about to be 37, one kid, and is an medical professional in the midst of covid. Her ex is already dating - probably a 25 y/o. It's shit. It's hard. But it will be worth it.

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Sorry you are going through this.

A cat (or two) couldn't hurt though. They are very entertaining. 🙂

A take 2 at love is definitely possible. Take some time to heal. You will probably have a different outlook on things this time around, should you choose to go down that path again.

There's hope....love found me after a divorce and nine years later, we're happier than ever.

Best of luck to you.

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I know a ton of people who met amazing people after divorce and as divorced parents. It might feel hopeless now but it won’t be that way forever. Just give yourself some time to figure out the new normal and your new priorities for a partner and you will be fine!

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If you end yo going for a cat, go for a tiger.

likefunny

You have a sense of humor, you’ll be fine!

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Agree with PWC1 here.

Also depends who has the custody tbh

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Well apparently some types of cats have caught the coronavirus, so you may want to hold off on buying one for a bit...

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I would worry about that after the divorce and once you’ve rebuilt your new life.

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I mean, it's a valid worry to have, and not insignificant. Luckily her (?) life isn't actually destroyed but opening up (omg I need to go to bed I'm so cheesy). So not rebuilding but to keep building.

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If you have two kids and you are in your early 30s, I assume your kids are young. Life gets so much better once your youngest is 4 or 5 - this was someone you wanted to have a child with just a few years ago, maybe wait a few years? But if you go for it definitely know people who are happily remarried

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I’m in the process of separation. I also have two kids. You are not alone. It is hard but the clarity of realizing I shouldn’t be in this marriage was powerful. We have one life to live- don’t spend it doing what you “should” do, figure out how you actually want to spend it. It is a huge decision that came after a lot of time and work—and is terrifying. But has also unlocked a lot of realization of what makes me happy. My one piece of advice is assemble your tribe to help you through it!! Best of luck to you.

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Maybe, but I wasn’t ready. It took me a long time to believe the kids would be ok, that me being happy mattered.

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I don’t see why you can’t do both

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My dad got remarried again at 65. You’ll find love. Life surprises you.

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My sister got divorced at 28 with a 6 month old and a 4 year old. Ex was cheating while she was pregnant. She remarried 18 months later to a wonderful man who accepted both her and her kids. He’s 2 years younger than she is too. They had a daughter together 2 years later.

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