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Hi Fishes ,
Am a new baby fish in this ocean.. Antares Consulting is a hr consulting and talent hunt org looking to be your growth partner . We are based out of Chennai . With vast experience in the field of HR , we would like to be your accelerator..
Our website is www.antaresconsulting.in
I can be reached at radhika@antaresconsulting.in
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Reminds me of Amber Heard
Hey guys , I am conducting survey for Amazon . (Only software engineer+ pm roles) Would be very helpful if you just comment your preferred option below
1. Work life balance depends on the team. Some work for 60 hrs a week whereas some work only 30hrs a week. Avg is 50 hrs
2. Everyone's work life balance is poor in amzn.
3. Work life balance has improved in recent years.
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Anyone buy an inversion table? Results?
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Chief
Easy
1. Stop telling your family stuff
2. Go do the stuff
3. Meet a guy while you're doing the stuff
Chief
Just 👏🏼go 👏🏼do 👏🏼the 👏🏼stuff👏🏼
Rising Star
Honestly, just don’t tell them about your plans ahead of time. Make the decision, and tell them after the fact.
I do this now with my family when I don’t want opinions. 🤷🏼♀️ I’m also married… opinions don’t stop once you get married 😊
Visual Storyteller
This is the golden rule i've started following😆
Mind you, there will be a rough transition phase for your family to get adjusted to this new version of you BUT the peace of mind is priceless 💞
Have you done those things anyway? You can make your point without 'losing' it :)
Rising Star
Set boundaries that you want your family to respect. Let them know it’s important to be your own person and do things at your own pace. You’re not just existing to fine a mate. Sometimes the older generations don’t know any better. My mom asked me about if I would consider speed dating. Lol
Chief
Why would you need your fam’s approval to do these things in the first place? You can inform and share dreams without opening yourself up to consultation
I mean idk if it’s per se bad to “lose it on them” for saying this. I mean maybe don’t go ballistic. But stating what you are hear (about how that’s bs to wait for a man and you have to live your own beautiful life - single or married) might actually be helpful and good for them to hear.
Also agree w the others that just doing the thing and then sharing is fine too. Like go get that dog then say “hey I got a dog!” Or “hey I’m traveling to this country in April. Planning to go solo but anyone interested in joining for fun let me know!”
Stating what you are here*
Just do the stuff, yes for ffs - they'll support or not, you still gotta give your shot to everything you want to!
You are a treasure in your own right.
I'm 27F and single (and happy). I get the same thing too from my family. The best course of action is to nod and listen but only take the constructive parts of what they're suggesting. You don't need to let them know what you're doing way beforehand.
At one point, my mom had legitimately said to me "I don't think you should be risking going out unless it is for a potential romantic partner" after I let her know that I'm meeting my friends. Talking to her about my feelings didn't work. I found confronting them face on tended to erupt into full on arguments. I find that if I just nod, it finishes quickly. It is frustrating because it feels like they're implying my achievements have no value without a partner. As such, I've decided to ignore and stop internalizing those comments.
Ultimately, their comments is coming from a good place. I'm a second gen immigrant too so cultural forces are also at play here. Eastern and Western cultures tend to clash on this point.
My parents tell me this all the time. They think this for a lot of reasons, all cultural so I can definitely relate! I am also very frustrated with their thought process. This doesn’t impact how I live my life really but it’s depressing to think that my parents have such little respect for me as an individual. Like I’m just meant to be passed off as someone’s responsibility.
As a first gen eldest daughter, my entire identity is the opposite of this. I feel like I took care of myself and my family my entire life. I’m also financially supporting them now. It’s really insulting, but I don’t think they’ll ever understand.
If you think your parents will understand, it might be worth talking to them about it. Otherwise, I just trust my parents are coming from what they think is a good place and try to create some space so that I can easily walk away from these convos. It’s not worth your time/inner peace.