I’m in my second long-term relationship (first was from age 16-20, he broke up with me). My current boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and I feel like it’s time to end things. However, I’ve never ended a long-term relationship and it feels legitimately impossible. Our lives and families are so intertwined and I just don’t know what to do. How did you end your long-term relationship? Advice?

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You need to do what’s best for you and your life. I think you can explain to him that you’ve been doing a lot of self reflecting during this time and believe you should part ways for whatever your reasons are. His happiness and future are not your responsibility and you cannot just stay with him to prevent his suicidal thoughts. I think it might be worth mentioning these thoughts to his family so they can keep an eye on him and so they can help him

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It’s also especially hard because I feel extreme pressure for his happiness/future. He’s mentioned on 2 other occasions that he would kill himself if we broke up (once as a joke, once serious) and I just feel so much pressure.

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I would break up with anyone who says that seriously just for this reason. This level of emotional blackmail is sick and can only get worse. Imagine having children with such person. Don't have actual advice other than be very clear and don't back out. Once you do it probably need to cut all contact for a while

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Would you rather be trapped in a dead end relationship forever? No, you and they deserve better. I would have everything you want lined up. Like if you live together, do you want the place or is it theirs, who owns what items, anything bought together that you would like to keep. Try to be respectful that this is painful for both parties. Your families will get over it and get used to it. Hopefully they don’t bring them up constantly and they should want the best for you too. As far as telling the other person, be direct and open. I always think it’s better to be a little more firm than come off as unsure of your decision

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As far as suicide goes, I would call a friend of his or family and give them the heads up/possibly have them be there. Threats should be taken seriously but at the same time, you shouldn’t be trapped because of his unhappiness. It sounds like an unhealthy relationship

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Honestly, I struggled with this in my last relationship especially bc we lived together and my only regret is that it took too long to pull the plug. If you know you aren’t happy things will not miraculously change and make you happy. If you’re meant to be, the universe will figure it out and you’ll find each other again. I wish I hadn’t spent so much of my teens and 20s in relationships I was too scared to leave. I was single from 27-30, learned to love myself and then found someone (or they found me) and I know it happened when it was supposed to. Also, if I had any advice for my younger self it would be that those teenage and early 20 relationships weren’t adult relationships. Do what makes YOU happy and the rest will fall into place.

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However you break up with him, can you reach out to someone you are close to and trust in his family and let them know your concern. I’d just want to make sure his family is aware of his potential mental state and can be there for him

Once you get it done a weight will be lifted from your shoulders and it will get easier......on all sides. Good luck

Break up if he threatens even in jokingly manner. Don’t think that’s healthy relationship if you felt pressure or not happy. No relationship is perfect, but it’s better to be single than trapped to toxic relationship.

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