I’m in the horrible transition on my latest project where my manager is suddenly realizing that I am not as great as I appeared to be now that I’ve been on the project for almost three months. My lack of follow up, missed deadlines, and disorganization are sneaking up on me and now I dread every meeting I have with my M and feel anxious whenever he calls or chats me. Do you know this feeling like your ADHD is the elephant in the room but you’re not sure what to do?

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I can’t decide if I should be proactive and share my awareness of what I’ve been struggling on or just try to catch-up and be better each day. I’m starting to get that horrible feeling that I won’t ever be able to get out from under my to do list. How have you guys handled this? Do you ever share your ADHD diagnosis?

Not as a cop out but as an explanation for why you need support/flexibility on certain things?

My example is that I’m expected to be available on 3 phones and 2 computers during working hours in order to respond on any device within 5 minutes. I’m already getting nothing done in meetings all day but now I can’t even listen and take notes in my meetings because I’m so overwhelmed by all the screens.

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3 phones and 2 computers sounds ridiculous. Can you share why they're making you go through this?

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I personally would not share that I have ADHD because of the possible misconceptions my team could have about it. I would instead share what my needs and preferences are e.g. “I need dedicated time to focus without distractions, so I would like to take X hour long sprints X times a day where I may be unresponsive to get my work done” and get on the same page with your team. I think it’s completely reasonable to set boundaries like this, but I know how people in consulting can be. The obsession with optics and being “always on” is what burned me out the most.

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I agree with A1’s approach here and I think it can work well for OP. ADHD hits everyone differently, so this also enables someone to be more specific about what helps them to thrive.

This is me daily! I’ve realized I work better without the pressure. Realistic deadlines are needed. Also did you share you have Adhd? That’s been a bigger questions for me.

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I share it when needed/relevant. I also usually accompany it with concrete practices I adopt to cope with particular distractions and some communication of openness to any other tips or suggestions that others may have. I can usually get it out in a sentence or so. As far as other's opinions, if you communicate shame about it either through words or tone others will be more likely to carry judgment. I usually just communicate it like a generic state of existence like short people talk about getting things off the top shelf. If your manager can't accept that, or worse vocally expresses some judgements against your experience (eg. "Add isn't real") then I'd have concern about their overall approach to mental health and would consider other work.

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People can be skeptical about ADHD

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Also op, your decision is a false dichotomy. Share it and work to catch up. Everyone has coping skills and systems in place to help them function at work. Ours might just be a little more specific and/or elaborate. You probably don't actually need all those screens all the time either. You probably don't need to watch a client phone for messages when you're in a meeting with that client.

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I think everyone has their own perception of ADHD, so if you choose to share it, I would just try to include some direction in terms of how your manager can accommodate your working style better.

The term is ‘time blocking’ and it works wonders for me. It sounds really fancy and like you’ve mastered organization and initiative, too

Thank you to all for the advice and support! Really appreciate the input and candid advice - I am going to have a conversation with my manager to discuss ways we can work more efficiently and share some of the suggestions above -TYSM!!

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