I’m Indian and my bf is white. I was talking to him about how frustrated seeing all rise in hate crimes for Asian Americans is. He doesn’t get it. We argued in circles about why saying China virus is terrible. He says “how does it matter what I say if it doesn’t affect my actions, I don’t treat Asians with prejudice?” then he said “I’ll never be able to understand exactly bc I’m not Asian or Indian and I don’t experience, so does that mean all interracial couples fail to work?” I just Idk ugh

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It’s one thing for him to be unaware and quite another to be willing to learn. He seems inflexible. Do you want to spend your life with someone like that?

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OP, I’ve seen a lot of posts from you about this topic lately - hope you’re doing ok. Your boyfriend does not sound empathetic or understanding at all. You can’t change someone if he doesn’t want to change - and he clearly can’t even be bothered to show any empathy towards something that’s so core to your identity. I would question if he even sees you for you, and if he could truly be a partner to you. Perhaps it’s time to move on.

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I’m a white-passing Hispanic and I understand why saying those things is not only offensive (and racist) but also conducive to creating an environment where discriminating against Asian people is tolerated. Being white doesn’t impair your understanding or excuse you from putting in the work to understand— it really sounds like he doesn’t want to change his point of view or even try to understand yours.

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I’m Indian-American and this is exactly why I don’t date white men. Even when I’m not fetishized, they often fail to even try to see another perspective.

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Speaking is an action, no?

The perspective ur bf lacks is that there are many interracial couples where the white person is unwilling to grow and the POC puts up with it. And it’s not your job to be a part of that.

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