I’m living with my partner and about to take the bar exam and find myself wishing I was single. I feel like I’d be able to focus on my career more, and I don’t mind being alone. I have a dog to keep me company. Am I the only one who doesn’t hate the idea of being a single old lady? Is the bar just messing with me?

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Maybe you’re just with the wrong partner. Mine was a godsend during my bar study and helped me out tremendously around the house. It also helped he took it the year before, so helped with studying, too.

But no, nothing wrong with being alone if that’s what you want

likehelpful

^^this. I myself forget to eat when I’m stressed and focused, so during the bar exam and for the ten years since, my husband makes coffee and food and shoves them right in front of my face to force me to eat. Bahaha. It’s a weird system but I’m still alive so it must work . 😅

likefunny

I agree with associate 1. I met my current partner a few months before taking the bar and honestly couldn’t have gotten through it without his encouragement, support and help around the house. However, I could see myself saying what you’re saying with a past boyfriend. I would’ve hated taking the bar while dating the wrong person. There’s nothing wrong with what you’re saying, but maybe your current partner isn’t your “person”

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I think there’s a solid chance that your bar study is consuming your life to a degree that you find your partner to be extraneous or a burden. I am guilty of hyper-focusing on a goal and excluding friends and loved ones but I think this is a bad instinct of mine. Make sure you’re setting aside a little bit of one on one time where you don’t think about your studies or what you “should” be doing. If you can be present with your partner and you still don’t like them, dump them.

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Just saying - as a single person working big law hours during COVID and living alone, it’s a certain type of hell right now. I would love to be in your spot; grass is always greener!

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Say that

I agree with everything that’s been said.
One, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a single old lady (I for one have told my partner that if he kicks the bucket I’m never doing long term commitment again and I’m just going to have a series of lovers) and, two, the bar is 100 percent messing with you. BUT that doesn’t mean that maybe your current dissatisfaction isn’t down to your partner and not the bar. The bar can seriously mess with your perception of life outside being hyper focused on studying and passing, or at least that was my case but I would have been an even bigger mess studying for the bar if it hadn’t been for my partner. That just may not be your situation.

I think Staff Attorney 1 is right, if you take studying for the bar out of the equation and still don’t like your partner, in the sage words of Arianna Grande, it’s time to say “Thank you, next.”

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Focus on the bar now and try to cut out the extra analysis & energy on the situation that you could put towards the studying. It is really a tough hurdle but you’ve got this. After the exam, re-evaluate. Life will hand you tough or tougher situations and you want to appreciate who you are with, or appreciate being with Puppers only (totally cool too). If you’re in a stressful situation now and wish for being with Puppers only, may not be the right person. Figure that out later, focus to pass now. GOOD LUCK!

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I second this. Last year I felt the EXACT same while studying for the bar. I didn’t want the stress of breaking up then and also wanted to make sure it wasn’t the stress and not him that I didn’t like. Needless to say, it was him, and we broke up a few months later when I moved to clerk in a different state.

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Thank you everyone! I am def gonna try to just focus on studying and evaluate after. Thank you 🙏 🙏🙏🙏

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You’ve got this!!!

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