{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I’m new to consulting. Spent my entire career in industry where I worked on a closely knit team. My work style is to befriend my coworkers not only because I like to work with my friends, but also so I don’t feel bad when I call them on their sh** for not pulling their weight. I am the fulcrum and counterweight combined. I now find myself being taken advantage of and am too uncomfortable to confront slackers on an 18mo project. How do I find balance?", "post_id": "5f50524c7448a50021d8e369", "reply_count": 11, "vote_count": 8, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting" }

I’m new to consulting. Spent my entire career in industry where I worked on a closely knit team. My work style is to befriend my coworkers not only because I like to work with my friends, but also so I don’t feel bad when I call them on their sh** for not pulling their weight. I am the fulcrum and counterweight combined. I now find myself being taken advantage of and am too uncomfortable to confront slackers on an 18mo project. How do I find balance?

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I've found that the only friends I make in consulting are people I either don't work with, or who are on the same project but in different areas that don't conflict with mine. Generally due to the slightly combative nature of our jobs.

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Your coworkers are not your friends.

likeuplifting

There are no "friends" in "consulting" just like there is no "I" in "team". It's Hunger Games, baby.

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But there is “lust” in consulting so feel free to use that to your advantage 😉

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You say you befriend people partially so you can easily call them out on their BS. But it sounds like now there is an issue and you can’t call them out...I guess that tells me there’s an issue with the approach. I am not against friending people on your teams but as you move up, your focus should become how to build an effective environment/team culture...there is a difference. True leadership is hard (and takes time/experience to develop) but it helps in situations like that.

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As a lateral hire myself, my approach was initially the same at the firm; that's my natural approach. I quickly learnt how the game was played. Hunger games is the best analogy here. We're not friends, we're coworkers. The game is for promotion and pay rises, their the only two goals. If you get skills along the way that help with your career preferences, lucky you. You're a resource and your tenure will depend on your ability to play the politics as much as anything else.

I’m good friends with almost all my coworkers! We regularly hang out outside work and Pre covid would frequently Donald travel snowboarding trips around NA, trips to Vegas, Miami, Cuba, Austin, you name it! Get shloshed after work when traveling too they’re the only ppl you got on the road many times. Not every project is the same but usually I’m able to become good friends.

don’t have any answers for you OP but definitely feel the same. some of my best friends are former teammates, and now i just can’t figure out how to connect with new people

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