Related Posts
Win $20 cash. New users welcome. Free membership with discount code “vipfree”. Until Sunday 5:00 pm eastern whatever teacher uploads the most lessons to their teacher store will win $20 cash!! Lessontrader.com is a virtual marketplace for teacher users to buy and sell resources with teacher sellers making 100% profit off anything they sell.
More Posts
New to Fishbowl?
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
My kiddo isn’t at that age yet but I think for any concerns, early intervention is key. Have you discussed with your pediatrician?
Rising Star
He sounds more like a Savant. Check if he's Autistic.
My dad is an Autistic Savant and has a photographic memory of his med school books to this day. He was undiagnosed till much later in life, so never got the socialization help he needed, so struggles with people skills.
Family friends had an Autistic Savant son who'd rather read the encyclopedia at age 6 than play with other kids his age. He'd sit on the sofa at family parties reading while all the other kids would be running around the house together. I still remember politely listening as a teen while he rattled off an insane number of obscure facts about the solar system, his current passion at the time. His doctor mom noticed and caught it early, got him diagnosed, and took the measures needed to develop him socially as well. He's now a nice well spoken quite young man doing a PhD at CalTech.
I agree that more knowledge is better but some people (maybe your husband?) don’t want to assign labels to their kiddos, which is also a valid perspective. I have a kid with ADHD and one who is dyslexic with an auditory processing disorder and we were on the fence about testing for awhile but ultimately went forward because, while we were able to accommodate certain needs and behaviors at home, school would not unless they had a specific diagnosis along with an IEP/504 plan. Highly recommend you check out understood.org - the concept of neurodiversity can make diagnosis of learning and brain differences feel less like a problem to solve and more like a way to understand your kid’s unique way of thinking and experiencing the world (not saying that’s how you feel but that was our journey with it).
Rising Star
Totally agree! A bit random, but I highly recommend the book “The Rosie Project.” It’s a romantic comedy written from the perspective of a man on the spectrum who is trying to find the “perfect wife.” It’s hilarious but also really drives home that this isn’t a “condition” to “cure”. It’s just a different way to see the world that is just as valid as any other.
If this is your child, getting them help early will also help them understand how they are different and how to navigate a world that assumes everyone thinks the same way, a way that isn’t like your son. It’s not a bad thing at all, it’s just different.
Honestly, he sounds normal to me. Very intelligent, shyer kid and focuses on activities he enjoys and doesn’t enjoy other activities that he isn’t interested in. If anything, maybe obstinate defiant? My older is similar in that it is hard to transition him to different activities if he is hyper focused and enjoying doing something. Maybe try to get him tested to see if he’s in the gifted range because gifted kids need a different kind of support as other special-needs kids as well.
It definitely is used still, but there are different IQ tests available and each has their specific scoring associated to IQ levels.
Rising Star
100% *if* your child has an issue, early intervention is so important.
If you’re concerned, seeing a professional will ease your mind, and if they do say your child has behavior issues, you can always discuss with your husband if any suggested treatments are right for your child and family.
My BFF has a son with early diagnosed ADHD and the treatment was a medicine but also lots of working with parents on how to best interact with their son to prevent him getting frustrated and worked up in the first place. She says those lessons work great on their daughter too who is younger and doesn’t appear to have the same issues.
I think doctors in this area might get a bad rap, that they are accused too often of just diagnosing behavior issues for every child and then prescribing medicine for all. If the doctor does then they probably aren’t a good one. Maybe medicine is right for your child, but definitely teaching and your child how to act and react to each other should be a big g piece too.
Rising Star
This all sounded normal to me too. I am a person who would want to find out either way though, if i did have any concerns.
Another vote for the sounds pretty normal, if not highly intelligent, camp.
I'm sure your pediatrician can provide more perspective. They will have a lot more knowledge both from their schooling and from seeing so many other children.
We went through extensive testing at about that age; at the time our son had a battery of challenges and we went into OT. His symptoms are severe; but It helped him tremendously. 8 years in while we are still struggling w/ADHD services and the right fit the earlier intervention has paid dividends.
A helpful resource: https://www.additudemag.com/
Also just a note high IQ w/ADHD is much more common than often realized
My brother was diagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten and the signs something was up showed as early as 2. I’m sure it’s different in every kid so talking to a professional would help. My brother, from 2 to diagnosis has severe behavioral issues and impulse control. He also had the tendency to “leave” while still being present. Like he was next to you but you could tell he was some sort of deep thought. One of the tell tale signs were his destructive tendencies and hyper focus on things he liked. Not necessarily intentional destruction - more like he didn’t realize what he was doing with his hands while watching a movie but was also snapping a toy apart or coloring on the floor vs a pic. When he liked something he was so focused on it you’d almost have to shake him to snap him out of
It.
He was actually suspended twice in kindergarten and the diagnosis was received because he wasn’t allowed back until he was seen by a professional.
He needs to repeat certain words/sentences that he associates with some situations - such as if he sees a no uturn sign he needs to say « mama you can’t take a uturn here and if you do the police will catch you and put you in jail » This happens every single time!
Very often he lives in this fantasy world of his, and it’s very difficult to distract him from it. I have to almost shake him and have him look into my eyes for him to respond to me.
Otherwise academically he’s amazing : he’s able to read chapter books and also able to complete 100 pc puzzles within 20-30 minutes.
My husband and I are not on the same page for getting him tested. He thinks he’s still too young and kids typically grow out of these behaviors and I feel that the earlier we get it done the better it will be for us to understand how to deal with it.
Any advice from parents who have gotten their kids tested early? What age is appropriate?
Not as yet. We are thinking of getting an appointment with her soon.
Thank you PM1. Thinking back I remember during his 4th year check his pediatrician had said that he’s not on the autism spectrum.
If only I could convince my husband to take him to a psychologist.
Conversation Starter
Not to scare you but I always get a 2nd opinion if I have any doubt in my mind. My friend was told her son was not on the autism spectrum by the Pediatrician as well. His behavior became unmanageable and she went to a specialist and found out he is autistic. Some of his behaviors; he can’t sit still, has sensitivities to light and sound, and has a hard time socializing.
Thank you A1. That’s exactly my argument with my husband. Once we understand him better we’ll know what to do. Apparently he was the same and got over it. 🤷🏻♀️
At what age did your friend get her child get diagnosed ?
Rising Star
Around the same age as your son, but his behavior was much worse. Her son was acting really badly in daycare, actually got kicked out, so then they knew they needed to do something. This was last fall during peak pandemic as well with school closures, WFH, complete life upheaval, so they didn’t know how much was innate for their son and how much was stress from the pandemic.
I’d say just a few months after they started getting him treatment they saw a huge improvement. It truly is just as much about learning how to interact with your child as anything. And most of the stuff is just good parenting (that she’s told me about anyway). She’s given me so much advice on how to discipline effectively, and it all came from those sessions.
Your husband may be right that your son will grow out of any “odd” behaviors. And I would assume any doctor worth their salt would know this too. You can always see multiple doctors if you’re not sure about the first’s opinion.
Thank you so much for all your input and perspectives. ❤️❤️ I love this group. Going to check out the resources mentioned here.
My anxiety is a bit lower now, so thank you! I’m going to get an appointment with the Pediatrician and try getting a referral from her if she believes I should get him tested as well.