The Power of Personality Workshop

I'm often told to speak up because I'm usually quiet. When I do, I'm told that I'm aggressive. It's really frustrating. How do I respond to that?

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I bet you’re just direct and matter of fact. Ask what they mean by aggressive. Aggressive is a loaded word and implies danger — meaning that’s their perception or reaction and that could be about various unconscious filters. (But do ask yourself if you usually speak up when you disagree or think other people are dumb)

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Great advice

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often certain words can soften things: “it seems, my understanding is, my impression was, could, might”. doesn’t mean u can’t speak your mind. In my experience they make the convo friendlier, conversational, etc. And studies show that smiling and eye contact help and pauses as u speak so it doesn’t seem like a tirade.

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Is it that you only speak up when you’re amped up, adamantly against something, or don’t agree with the crowd? Practice speaking up much more often when you’re supportive of ideas as well, so you express both your positive and negative opinions during discussions. Make it a habit to get comfortable and be proactive in conversation. If you’re a natural wallflower and your voice is only heard in a negative context, that will continue to be a downhill fight.

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