{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I’m on the fence to get my baby boy circumcised. Other than religious and cultural reasons, what made you go for it. Is it for hygiene or just a preference?", "post_id": "606c7e88e1f8ed0022ad52b0", "reply_count": 83, "vote_count": 7, "bowl_id": "58f81646ae9f610010f869be", "bowl_name": "Consulting Moms", "feed_type": "bowl" }
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I’m on the fence to get my baby boy circumcised. Other than religious and cultural reasons, what made you go for it. Is it for hygiene or just a preference?

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At first we said we would just do it.. didn’t really think much about it..but then as his birth got closer we did start to talk more and more about this and realized that this really warrants more discussion/research as it is a medical procedure on a baby that can’t communicate. We ultimately did more research, talked to doctors, weighted pros/cons, and ultimately decided against circumcision. We do not have any religious reasons to do it so for our family and my son, that was our decision. If my son chooses to do that later on, that will be up to him but we didn’t want to decide that for him. I am also European and it’s not really practiced there so I didn’t grow up with having that be a standard, my husband is American.

likesmart

I understand wanting to shield your kiddo from locker room bullying. I have the added perspective that my son was born with a cleft lip and palate, so he’ll always have a scar that may be a target for bullying. My partner and I have frequent conversations with my son about how he looks different from other people, and that his worth does not come from how he looks but how he acts and who he is inside. We also talk about strategies for dealing with bullying. Kids can be cruel, and for me it’s important to invest the effort in equipping my son with tools for navigating that and having safe places/people to process and recover from it. (We did not circumcise)

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We just had a son and almost pulled the trigger due to research suggesting broad, cross-cultural female preferences for circumscribed men. (My husband is also circumcised and I’m a fan.) But ultimately we didn’t feel great about causing him pain, potentially interfering with breastfeeding, and changing his body without his consent, so we didn’t circumcise him.

My NYC pediatrician - who is a professor at NYU and circumcises over half her patients’ babies - says that it’s really just a cultural/religious and aesthetic practice. The hygiene benefit is real in the developing world but unsubstantiated by research in the developed world. This view was also influential in our decision not to circumcise.

likehelpful

We chose not to. The health benefits are negligible with standard hygiene practices and I’m against female genital mutilation so it was a challenge for me to explain to myself why I would allow it on my son.

likehelpful

I highly recommend Emily Oster’s books for a meta-analysis of research on most kid related topics. I’m including the one of the pages in Cribsheet. Her final analysis is: the benefits and costs either way are empirically fairly small and it comes down to preference.

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I considered going to medical school and shadowed a pediatrician for a while.

I was present during a few circumcisions. Some babies weren't bothered, the other ones were screaming like they couldn't handle it and were desperately doing everything they could to communicate how much this was awful for them, and screaming was the only skill at their disposal. I imagined screaming like that and not having anyone listen - it felt very traumatic.

Seeing the babies who were screaming like that, I won't be circumcising my sons. My circumcised husband also came to this conclusion for his own reasons (stuff around not wanting to unnecessarily mutilate a baby). However, I would have let my husband lead on that if he felt strongly the other way and had good reasons, as he will be the one modeling male appearance and behavior, etc.

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Chose not to- pediatrician as well as close friend who is a urologist said medical benefits are not substantial enough to recommend, went as far as to say it is an archaic practice, and that rates in the US are closer to 50/50 these days. I was leaning towards it initially, but husband (who is circumcised) felt strongly that it should be son’s choice not something we decide for him.

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I was reading the thread and I feel all of you are saying the same thing and I agree with what had been said. I do have one more question: does anyone had the need to circumcise due to health conditions or maybe because if reduces the risk of infection? I am going to have an appointment with an urologist for my son but would be very very interested to hear any experience. Thanks!

I had it done. It was highly recommended by my pediatrician and I took his advice. Aside from that I wanted to for hygiene purposes and I also did not want him to be bullied in the locker room (yes it happens). All around I felt it was the right decision for my boys but also see why someone would not want to do it too.

likefunny

My husband was big on the locker room bullying which I didn’t even think about nor did I hear about not having grown up in the US. We got both our boys done and works well on the hygiene front so I guess I’m here to say while I was hesitant I don’t have any regrets.

My husband is not circumcised and we decided to get my son circumcised. My husband was in the army and spent a lot of time on deployment. When he would go out for long missions (sometimes months), he said keeping his foreskin clean was quite literally a pain in the dick. (Excuse my language)

That being said, I swear when they took my son I could hear him screaming. My heart has never hurt so bad. I cried when they brought him back and wondered why I mutilated my perfect baby. It looked so painful and red. I don’t think I’d be able to agree to it again if I ever had another son.

likehelpful

One day old. Had to keep Vaseline on it for 6 weeks and pull it back to make sure it didn’t stick and scar

The way I look at it, my son would probably not be mad at us for circumcising him but could be upset if we did not as he grows up, potentially. It’s not really a choice they can make for themselves later in life. Since my husband is circumcised, we decided we’d want our son to “look” like his dad so he didn’t get confused as he grows up. Personal choice.

likesmartfunny

Sex is better if you’re uncircumcised (for both), just sayin.... 😏😏

likefunny

If it were objectively and definitively better one way or the other, I’m sure the patriarchy would rule and it would be settled. I think it is subjective and thus governed by preference.

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It's a personal choice. I believe that it's a very outdated custom. I also have a problem with the locker room analogy. What happens if all the other boys are not circumsised? Won't that bullying switch the other way?

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Of course it’s a personal choice. OP is asking a question why or why not others have made a choice... to which she is looking for answers that will be helpful. “Having a problem” with someone else’s thoughts is outdated.

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We did with both our boys, they were sleepy and happy breastfeeding afterwards, it healed on the same timeline as the umbilical cord, and all is well.

likesmart

My ex was the first guy I dated that was uncircumcised and the sex was waaayyyy better! Less friction for both.

Go with what God intended and leave it be. You’ll be doing him a favor when he’s an adult. Just teach him how to clean it when he’s young.

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Good point that no one has made! I think teaching him how to clean it is so very important. It probably sounds like common sense but from what I understand, it’s not

My husband is not circumcised and has never mentioned any challenges from it, hygiene or otherwise. He was not born here but spent his teenage years in the US. I also think it improves sex. We have girls but would not have had any sons circumcised.

His cousin also was not circumcised and decided to get it done as an adult. From what I hear it wasn’t fun, but was definitely doable. I don’t think “they won’t remember it” is a good reason to inflict pain on a baby.

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My husband is uncircumcised. I asked him just now if he was ever teased in a locker room and he said no... they didn’t really ever do group showers - he did sports some in high school but everyone just showered at home. I also never did group showers in gym class. We live in Texas so maybe it varies in different parts of the country? I also asked him if he saw his friends’ penises growing up and said no... As a woman, I don’t think I’ve really ever seen my friends vaginas.

Is bullying that big of an issue? Do your male partners have stories about bullying?

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No, this doesn’t happen and if it does it’s a VERY small number, especially now that the kids are taught to be accepting and that bullying is not something that should happen.

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My husband had to be circumcised later in life for medical reasons. He said it was extremely painful, took a long time to heal, and caused him to lose some sensation. Needless to say he was vehemently for circumcising our son.

likehelpful

Can’t speak for P2, but we have a family friend whose husband needed a circumcision to address brittle foreskin that caused great pain upon retraction. He declined to do the procedure and just ended his usual sex life early.

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We circumcised, my son has had no issues and I don't have any real regrets, but I can't say I'd make the same choice again. I'd probably take the approach that doing nothing is better than doing something in this scenario.

likesmart

Not from the US and am used to uncircumcised penis. My husband is American but wasn’t circumcised due to immigrant mum’s lack of knowledge on the practice. I’ve never been a fan of circumcision knowing that it’s not something reversible and completely unnecessary. Also, i would not want to take the easy pleasure of masturbation away from my son (when and if i have one). For most people, it’s less commonly known that circumcision started through religions to reduce the act of masturbation on boys.

I would not compare it to piercing the ears on girls. That’s something i would do for my daughter when she’s a baby to avoid the pain if she wants to do it as she gets older. If by chance that my daughter grew up to hate pierced ears, she could let that hole close and end of story. You can’t really say the same about circumcised penis.

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I got my ears pierced as a baby. Didn’t wear earrings from elementary to college and the holes never closed. Just saying it may be permanent with a daughter so that’s not the best comparison though I get the sentiment

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We did. Husband is circumcised and wanted his son to look like hiM. I couldn’t really argue that point. Anecdotally, apparently our son didn’t cry at all during the procedure and was quite unbothered. He cried about 30 minutes later for a little bit and that was that. Caring for it in the first week was a bit involved but we were overzealous about it and went through a ton of petroleum jelly.

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My husband is circumcised. He grew up in the north east, they did have group showers and saw each other, and there was bullying. I grew up in Texas 5A high school, also in athletics and also group showers, and also bullying. I don’t think anyone is saying it’s the sole reason to make a choice for your child, it was just a consideration and therefore part of the conversation. For some reason it has taken the forefront of the discussion when no one has actually said it was the sole reason. My boys got circumcised, no trauma, were breastfeeding minutes later, it healed up quick with a little ointment and no regrets. My ped recommended it, my husband did as well. Agree it’s a personal choice.

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@D1 husband is 34. That’s not the reason we made the choice, it’s bc my husband is, wanted the boys to be and our pediatrician recommended as well. I will say though on the bullying front.... as much as ppl are saying “it’s a thing of the past”, it is absolutely not. Bullying today is just as prevalent as it was. We do of course teach our kids to be accepting and kind to everyone, but that still doesn’t change the fact that bullying is actually worse due to SM. That’s a different topic from this though....

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