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Ex bulimic and anorexic here. It’s harder at home because our usual routines that help keep us healthy have stopped and we need to find new ones.
What would you usually do every day, what has been disrupted? eg I know that my walk to work is really important for my mental health - and it’s a walk, not a run, so I’m not calorie focused. I’ve scheduled walks into my daily diary to try and replicate that.
I’m also working to manage overall anxiety - podcasts help a lot, especially positive ones or ones that educate on totally non corona topics. 13 minutes to the moon is my current favourite.
You are not alone in struggling and finding this hard. We’re here if you need a listening and non judgmental ear.
OP you’re not alone. Two of my friends who are in different stages of recovery from eating disorders are really fighting the urge to start using behaviors right now. Tap into the resources that helped you get healthy. If you mentioned your current feelings to people who knew you at your sickest, how would they react? I ask because my assumption is none of them would think it was a good idea for you to try to “lose a few pounds.”
The stress / anxiety / uncertainty of this situation are triggering all sorts of mental health issues for people in general. Please take care of yourself.
@OP I am there with you! I have struggled with various forms of bulimia over the past 13 years (both exercise and b/p) and have been in recovery for the past ~2 years.
Not only is the WFH throwing off my routine but I also am spending quarantine at my parents’ house. They’re both overweight, have fully stocked house with not the healthiest of foods, and always are snacking on something. It’s throwing off the eating habits I established to keep myself from going off track (not as in diet, but as in recovery program).
Did you do a program/therapy to help you recover? Is there someone you can reach out to even while being remote?
Whenever I’m anxious and freaked out about something totally beyond my control (like the pandemic), the urge to control my intake and weight crops up again. It’s like my brain wants to work out the anxiety by focusing on what I can control, no matter how bad for me it is.
For me, not having a scale at home helps a lot. Do you have a therapist you can have video or phone sessions with for the time being? If not, I bet your work has an employee assistance program you could contact that may help with sourcing one.
if you're concerned enough to put it out here then I think you should reach out to a medical professional and maybe even do some sort of online counseling to help you work through this
Hey there. I struggled with an ED for 10+ years. I get it. I think the point is you shouldn’t be focusing on weight at all - ideally, if you’re focused on intuitive eating (eating when hungry , stopping when full, eating what you’re craving, not eating to fill emotional needs like anxiety, boredom), your body weight will balance at at a healthy place that is right for you. Nature has a way of doing things when our minds get out of the way. This is how babies eat - they self regulate - and they eat just enough to fill their needs. I have a great book I can recommend if it’s helpful. Also feel free to DM me for any support. I’d say to be really introspective about what kicks up your ED - is it anxiety , fear ( food as comfort). Is it boredom (food as stimulation), etc, and try to find alternative ways to meet the same needs. If you’re just worried about moving less, integrate some excercise. But again this should be about moving your body to feel good and take care of yourself, not punish yourself for food you’ve eaten. You are not alone and will get through this ❤️
I also agree to create ways to distract yourself from obsession. No reason to have a scale at home. Etc
Also, losing “a few pounds” is a really really dangerous slope for those of us with EDs. The point is we have body dystrophia and can’t see when we look healthy vs not. Few women suffering from anorexia say “I want to look super skinny and sick.” It starts with a few pounds, which becomes addictive.
It’s very hard but try to focusing on taking care of yourself and feeding yourself nutritious food you crave (and sometimes, not so nutritious). The goal should be developing a healthy relationship with food and with your body. The rest will take care of itself. That’s the crazy part about intuitive eating - when we let go and stop trying to rigidly control what we eat, we end up at a place that’s right for us. It’s a leap of faith and takes a while to learn ho to do it but it’s worth the struggle. I spent 10+ years of my life obsessing over weight, food and my body, and I missed out on so manga amazing and rich experiences, connections, lessons. It’s just not worth the effort we put in. I hope you will find a way towards healing ❤️
We are rooting for you and here for you ❤️
I honestly thought I wrote this post for a sec when I first saw it. OP, you’re not alone. I was finally starting to get better (little by little) when all this happened and now I am right back to destructive old habits. I don’t have great advice aside from keep your head up and try to throw yourself into the healthy things that make you happy - whether it’s art, music, listening to podcasts, watching Netflix docs, anything. Just know you’re 100% not alone and people are here to support you. Feel free to dm me if you ever want to chat
And I don’t want to fall back into old habits but part of me thinks I could lose a few pounds and be okay (I’m within the healthy weight range now after weight restoration 3 years ago) and I’m struggling with body image and this working from home thing is hard. Idk what do to. I do feel better that I got it out. I hope everyone is doing okay during this time.
Agree with Droga5. In the early stages of anorexia I received a huge number of compliments. Whilst well intentioned, it was very reinforcing for me and helped me mental defend my behaviour.
I’m struggling with this too unfortunately 🙁