I’m so unfulfilled… I feel like I should go to law school or med school but I’m 30 and scared to take on loans. I just want to help people and interact with people. I feel like I fucked up my whole life. I hate my job but even if I had a job I liked I would hate that I don’t directly help anyone or do anything important. Does anyone have any advice or words of wisdom 😭

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I’m 100% serious, please talk this over with a therapist. So awesome you want to help people, and I bet you already do in many ways.

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It’s normal to want your job to contribute to your purpose in life. But you are and will always be WAY MORE THAN WHAT YOU “do”. You are a divine human full of life and energy, and I’ll be thinking of you and sending you bright light for clarity and direction in your spirit (assuming you believe in spirit/soul/self).

Remember, you already have all the answers internally so listen to your inner voice closely as you seek guidance with a career coach or therapist that speaks to your way of communication.

Look for an industry that you already love studying, think about the kind of outcomes for ppl you hope to be part of, and try volunteering for some things that will connect you to yourself and others in a way that brings your purpose why you figure this out more.

Love and light to you on your journey!!
Because after all it’s way more about the journey than a destination. Nobody gets out alive.

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Agree with the other person and I’d also recommend some volunteer work to get some fulfillment that way. It helps me. I feel for you and I feel that way often, too. I wish I worked for an organization that did something more significant.

likesmart

I was there at one point. With the isolation and being involved in work all day without seeing people does that. Start with finding people within your company or outside(try lunchclub) who's work you like to book a coffee chat or better meet in person, it brings in so much of perspective and clarity when we talk about our own work, what we do and how we contribute.
Second, look for a career counselor. They help navigating, exploring, defining what skills you have and other industries that those can be transferred into.
Third, write, it helps to think. Define what's bothering you. What you want to work on. Even the next thing you do can have same issues creep up after a while, sometimes we need a breather or someone to listen to us. Take a vacation.
Then fourthly, look for a therapist who have background in helping with career decisions.
Wish you the best!

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Hi there. I spent 2 years teaching high school before moving into tech consulting in September of this year. The thing that has troubled me the most since leaving teaching has been that I no longer get to leave an impact.. As a teacher I had a direct impact on 100 kids and I got to see that impact every day. In the remote work world, I'm lucky to even talk to 2 people at work in a day and we don't have any sort of meaningful conversation. I could dissappear and no one at work would be looking for me. Going back to being a teacher isn't an option right now. My husband is back in college and we need the money from this job. So my options were to stay miserable or find some source of joy in my life to bring out the best of my situation. So that's what I did. I joined big brothers big sister and mentor a 4th grader once a month in a stem program through my job. I took advantage of working from home and got a puppy so I could train her and also use her as a reason to have puppy play dates with other people. I volunteer with uniter way on some of the initiatives that help local schools and teachers. And I stay in contact with some of my former student and cheer them on as they work toward their goals.

My advice, start looking outside of your job for joy and fulfillment. Use your job as a means to survive and use your free time to make a difference to things that are important to you. Being a doctor or a lawyer isn't going to solve all of your problems. It'll just give you new ones.

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This resonates with me, deeply.

Some advice: stimulate yourself with activities that would get you back in good spirits and good headspace. Set boundaries at work. If you hate it, minimize the amount of energy and intensity you put into your work. Learn to decompress from work and not carry work-related stresses around. Get out in and volunteer. There are endless organizations that are looking for help. Pick up a hobby. Look for professional organizations or clubs in your areas of interest (i.e. SWE is for women in STEM, there's similar for each profession). Get a mentor, success counselor, and/or career coach. Meetup & Lunch Club are great resources for finding groups and people.

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I know a lot of miserable lawyers, and don’t think law school is worth the ROI unless it is your true undying life passion.

Five years from now, 30 will sound so young. You have so much time to change your life. The only thing you’re too old for is high school sports.

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Second career counselor. Also, be careful not to throw the baby out with the bath water. You’ve built real experience over the past 8 years or so since university. Sometimes it’s the environment (ie. Look for new company or city) or specific role (ie. Look for lateral moves that capitalize on your knowledge but put you more client-facing, or in the philanthropic branch of a similar organization, etc.). These are normal feeling for where you are in your career. Also, of course, seek external opportunities for hobbies or volunteering that align with your interests.

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Yes - talk to someone. Question- would you consider a stint overseas? I’ve lived in many countries and I’ve found my home ver very very far from where I started… sometimes it’s about the ‘where’.

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This is not a siloed sentiment as many re-evaluate priorities when transitioning from their 20s to 30s. It’s so easy to compare our personal and professional accomplishments to our peers and feel as though we haven’t made any impact or progress. We are the generation of participation trophies and our parents going to bat for us against teachers who didn’t give us gold stars. Self work and work fulfillment is so much more than that! This is an opportunity to take a step back and prioritize what matters to you and also acknowledge how far you have come and where you can double down when it comes to work life. And I am talking about the intangibles, not anything that is a reward or validation of worth (such as compensation, title, awards, etc). Much of what we are capable of has nothing to do with the position we are in and everything to do with the mindset we are in. Volunteer, do some self discovery like shadow work, and get to the core of why you feel the way you do and what you think you can do to shift those feelings.

Completely understand your situation. I also disliked my job but mainly due to the ppl and my demoted role. I felt miserable and on top of the I was isolated bc it’s remote. I know a lot of ppl are celebrating remote work but it’s a very isolating experience. You can’t build relationships anymore nor see people, a bus driver, receptionist -ppl that you see on a typical day.
Since you hate your work, you feel isolated. Would it help if you find a job in a non-profit organization?

Snap employees receive benefits from Lyra Health! We're your EAP (employee assistance program) company! Please feel free to reach out! We're here to help! (snap.lyrahealth.com)

Curious, what is it that you do now? There are a niches you can search for. But also consider maybe becoming a board member or doing something on the side as opposed to a huge decision like your job.

Be the change you want to see in the world.

You have skills you might be able to use in a more mission-oriented way without sacrificing your salary. Maybe there's a gap you can identify in a domain you care about that you can help fill with a new solution.

You can volunteer.

Or if you really feel a complete change is needed for your own sake, think it through. The recommendation of therapy may be useful.

Good luck!

Maybe you don't need to get this fulfillment in your career. I was in this mode for a while and realized my purpose in life isn't necessarily through my job title but in who I am and how I live my life as a whole. I had to step back and analyze my entire life and stop trying to find the career I thought I needed to be the me I wanted to be.

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Hello, All! I'm looking for recommendations on inspirational content for women leaders. I follow TEDWomen, many podcasts, and the Women's Conference among other sources. I'd love to hear a fresh perspective on business, trends, tech, marketing, equality in the workforce, etc. I'd love to learn something new. I'm at the VP level and have started a couple of companies, so nothing too junior, but open to many topics. Please share any speakers, books, webinars, or events that you may come across.

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