I'm struggling at work and in the process of adjusting my meds, while simultaneously trying to fix some bad habits that I think came from burnout. I thought having a manager who has ADHD would be helpful. On the contrary, they don't seem to have a lot of empathy or patience for me. I think, in part, because they have theirs under control and are a high performer. Maybe they forgot what poorly controlled symptoms/adjustments feel like? Anyone else have similar experiences?

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It can happen in all sorts of different forms, but I I have seen that some people think when they have their own stuff under control, they're instantly and automatically above anyone who seemingly doesn't yet. Or they lose compassion for what people are going through despite going through it themselves at one point. Try not to be too hard on yourself, chances are they're just projecting. You'll get it figured out.


It's possible that some people don't feel as comfortable talking about it too. I usually feel really comfortable discussing my symptoms and asking others if they experience the same things, but I have also talked to other people who seem quieter about their diagnosis. It makes me feel odd sometimes because I feel like I'm being too vocal, but I think it can be a personality difference too. Or a difference in comfort levels talking about it. Just a thought, there's no way I can know what's going on in their mind of course. I'm sorry you're not finding the empathy & patience that you were hoping for from your manager. Just remember to be kind to yourself and keep offering yourself those things even when you don't feel like they are.


We all have different levels of control and symptoms. I never expect empathy - I know its not really my manager's responsibility to deal with my ADHD. The best you can do is apologize when you make a mistake, and create a plan to do better.


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