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Fishes, need your honest advise - I have 40 days left with Notice period and no job in hand due only 4-5 months of relevant experience and total yoe- 3.10 years. Is there any chance I will get the job in next 40 days due to immediate joiner? Or give me referral please
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You should set a personal goal outside of a professional capacity and strive to accomplish it. A purpose with incremental progress and an exercise in self-discipline I think can really help
Having been in the same position as JA a few times in my life I agree this does help. For me it is fitness goals (i.e. last month I was going to run 100 miles in the month, I knew what I needed to do daily, what it would do if I skipped a day, what I needed to make up for it to hit the goal etc.). I got to see myself making progress on a goal and achieving the goal. It was all about the process but for me physical struggle is what gets me going.
I like to think of those days where I broke down and struggled with depression, lonely, single, unfulfilled etc. the same way I think about my 10 mile run in 25 degree weather. It sucked something awful at the time but my nice warm house wouldn't feel nearly as good if I hadn't done it. The cold like your situation are temporary, they suck at the moment but they don't last forever.
That sounds really tough. I wish you were feeling better, but I’m confident it won’t always feel this way (as hard as that is to imagine). My sibling went through some really challenging depression - including suicide ideation - over the last couple years. She went through multiple therapists and medications. Every day was a struggle. She really, really wanted to give up. But she didn’t. It took a long time but she found the right therapist and group support. She finally found meds that work for her. She’s now in a happy marriage, started a new job that she loves, moved to a new city, and is in a stable enough mental space to contemplate trying to have children. I know I’m just an anonymous stranger but know that I don’t want you to give up. That you’re loved. And most of all, that things can and will change. There are things to look forward to.
Talk to God about it as if you're talking to a friend, he's near and he's kind... I find doing this therapeutic x
What would you be rather doing than work? Now's your time to risk it and try and switch. Think of this as an opportunity many rarely get, and that most are too afraid to leap toward without being laid off. Get it buddy 💪
Feel free to connect with me for a phone chat if you need an ear and some ideas in regard to things to look forward to.
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I’m sorry. A lot of people these days are in your same boat if that helps any. The current life we’re all living is absurd. All I can suggest is talk to people about it. Family, friends. Ask for help. Identify and focus on things you can control. Accept things you can’t. It’s a rough world out there but you’ll get through this.
I feel for you. But remember that things will get better.
For now find some ways to disassociate your happiness from work (difficult for high achieving people like us, I know!) Find some respite outside of work - start a new hobby, read a good book, take some time for yourself to recharge.
I was laid off earlier this year (I’m in a new job now) so I know what you’re going through there. I will say, for me it ended up being a blessing. Some time off can cure the soul...
I was fairly open about it - in my case it was at a startup (post leaving consulting) that did a big round of layoffs. Important to have a positive mindset at least in the interview.
“Due to the firm’s financial struggles, they decided to cut some areas/business lines that were less core to the firms success, and I was let go with # others. While it was disappointing, I had an excellent experience working there - loved the people, work, etc. looking to take that passion into a new job.” Or something of the likes.
I’m with you. I’ve been going through the same stuff for 2 years... there’s no set time period - don’t have any sort of expectation because there’s no one path or one plan you can follow. I wake up every day wondering what bad shit is going to happen today... to me or in the world. I’m constantly trying to change my mindset but it’s taking forever to do so. I find that being outside in the mountains is what helps me the most and I’ve started to structure my life around that.
Hang in there, I went through some tough moments in life, I was depressed for about a year or so! Just know it’s temporary even if it feels like it’ll be forever. When I look back it’s been about a decade of feeling great! Follow the advice of professionals and try making connections through other avenues, even meeting people online through places like Reddit make a huge difference, also try headspace if you haven’t already, it’s amazing
Hey meds and therapy are two pieces of the puzzle - the third and far most important is you. You’re probably in a significantly better position for your age than 90%+ people out there but even if not - most people get somewhere great by playing a bad hand well not by being dealt a great one to begin with.
I’ll leave you with a paraphrased/translated quote:
“Dig deep - we know you’re in there.”
Take a leave of absence and reset - YOLO and clearly you don’t have time to reflect given your current schedule.
This too shall pass
Sometimes you just have to wait it out. I’m convinced it’s chemical. I’ve gone through this a couple times in my life now (30m). First time lasted ~8months. The world went gray. Sad all day every day, cried myself to sleep, etc. then one day like the flip of a switch I could tell i bottomed out and up was the only direction I could go. Took months to get back on track but I did and you can too!
Read the book ‘No More Mondays’ and find an organization to volunteer with or an individual who needs help. Volunteer with cancer patients or a homeless shelter or others in need. It will bring a new perspective and give you a sense of fulfillment.
I see you, OP, and I hear you. You are valued and loved, and the world is a better place with you in it. You are the only one with your unique experience and point of view.
Are you in a position to consider fostering a dog? The unconditional love as you watch the scared dog blossom does wonders for the human psyche. And you are forced to get up and go out multiple times a day, which can sometimes be difficult when the world feels gray.