{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I’m sure this has been asked before—but how do you get through work when going through a breakup with a long term SO? I have a new male boss & cant really tell him what’s going on. I’ve been taking PTO scattered. I live alone and NYC Covid winter alone is already feeling so overwhelmingly sad and lonely on top of everything else.", "post_id": "5f70804367b27600224db21e", "reply_count": 22, "vote_count": 12, "bowl_id": "5976222cab932800101a9ca4", "bowl_name": "Women in Advertising" }

I’m sure this has been asked before—but how do you get through work when going through a breakup with a long term SO? I have a new male boss & cant really tell him what’s going on. I’ve been taking PTO scattered. I live alone and NYC Covid winter alone is already feeling so overwhelmingly sad and lonely on top of everything else.

likehelpful
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This may be a difficult time for you but my advice is to worry about today and not tomorrow. COVID winter hasn’t happened yet and it doesn’t help you to speculate about how you’ll feel then. Live through each day the best you can and let tomorrow take care of itself

likesmart

Firstly, I’m so sorry to hear that. Things will 100% get better. Even if it’s impossible to feel that right now. They will. I went through an incredibly painful breakup last year and work was horrendous. Studies actually show that heartbreak decreases your IQ (temporarily). If it’s affecting your work, I think it’s beneficial to tell your boss that you’re dealing with some personal issues. If they are decent they could possibly lighten your workload for a few weeks? You don’t have to tell them details, but it’s good to be honest and human. Alternatively, if you don’t want to say anything, CBD oil was a lifesaver for me! Calmed the anxiousness that I was feeling during the day to allow me to focus on my work. ❤️

likesmarthelpful

Thank you. Love CBD, I take the Plant People capsules!

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Love all the advice above. My addition is to avoid further isolation by finding new channels to connect with people you love outside of text and phone calls. After breakups I tend to shell up and isolate (in non-covid), avoid phone calls, sleep too much — I’ve lived alone for most of my adult life. When my relationship started unraveling in february I created a “close friends” on instagram to share more intimate parts of my processing and life details: the pottery class I was taking, great hair days, the roses that were blooming outside my apartment, a successful meal for one. It was easier for me to do it there than texting or getting on the phone to talk about it when I wasn’t ready, and became passive way for people who love me and that I love to be connected. I felt less alone/was reminded that there are in fact people who give a fuck about me. If instagram isn’t your thing, marco polo has been great at times as well to not feel like you have to immediately respond. Your next peak is ahead of you. I can promise you that!

likefunny

Thank you! deleted IG for a little break, but I do love the close friends feature for exactly what you said.

I’m really sorry. I’ve been through a really bad and sad breakup while trying to work in nyc adland. I think working my ass off helped, it gave me an escape from thinking and feeling my broken heart. I likely got a promotion out of my working double time back then, so that’s a nice “living well is the best revenge” type outcome. But my best advice is take it one day at a time. Breathe. Eat nutritious food. Exercise. Join a gym (I think they’ve reopened?) or something that is health focused and commit yourself to it.

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Thank you

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I have the same question! Just broke up with my boyfriend last week and I’m in shambles, crying all day every day. I thought he was the one, but it turns out we wanted very different futures.

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Hang in there, you’re definitely not alone

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Not his business. Talk to your friends, not your boss. Create a pod with a group of single women and rent houses together through the rest of Covid and Zoom from there. Work the problem.

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HAHAHA

I feel your pain. 2 weeks post breakup from a long term relationship and can’t figure my shit out. The pandemic really makes getting over it harder because there are few distractions and you’re alone most of the time. The best advice I can give for dealing with it at work is to treat yourself to a coffee, make a nice meal for lunch, give yourself little things to look forward to throughout the day and reward yourself with when you accomplish a task. That’s helped me remain on track with my to do list when all I want is to lay in bed and cry. Take care of yourself and give yourself some grace. You’re dealing with a lot right now, but you will get through it! Time is truly the best remedy. Sending all the positive thoughts your way!

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Thank you, I appreciate it!

Can you tell him you’re going through a family emergency? He doesn’t need to know the details. Have you considered getting a roommate? It’ll save you some money and offer companionship during Covid winter. Maybe even upstate or something so you’re not in the city. I also think you should see a therapist. It’s so helpful to talk to someone! Best of luck!!

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I’ve lived alone for 6 years and really enjoy it, it might be hard for me to live with someone. I just made an appointment with a therapist 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 But looking into some upstate getaways with friends for a week or two at a time. Thank you.

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Take this time to focus on you, which I’m sure you’ve heard a million times. If you don’t already have a hobby that you do with friends, find one. Ideally something you can do for an hour or so before the start of each work day so that you start the day doing something for yourself, to improve yourself and your well being. For me its cycling, it gets the endorphins going and I see plenty of people I know from that community on the road on my morning workouts. It saved me after a terrible covid breakup in May.

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Thank you

So sorry about your breakup. It’s never easy and I can relate as I went through a divorce while working. I took some PTO to process when all first happened and did let my boss know, as I knew I wasn’t in the right headspace. Some others have mentioned finding a hobby or activity - and while I didn’t do this right away, I did find a cardio class that I continue to do still. It is my hour and time to feel strong and in control and I really feel it’s helped get me through the hard times. Time will make the pain diminish, but two years later it still hits me. Hang in there!

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Thank you

Happened to me last year and I cried telling my boss (a woman) but I still felt shitty bringing in my personal life to work. Overall, it does help talking to others and trying to work through it. Podcasts helped me a lot in my downtime because I always had someone to talk to. Like a lot of people have said, reach out to those who are in your circle! They will check on you and try to distract you. you will get through it. Stay strong sista!! ♥️

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