{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I’m torn. Middle of last year my parents “separated” because of my dads drinking problem (well overdue and I’m glad my mom kicked him out). He lost his job around the same time frame due to covid and started using his 401k for alcohol and honestly idk how much he has left. J moved home to support my mom and sister, but I’m torn if I should help him out because he doesn’t have work. Half of me is like this is your fault for 20+ years and the other half is just like I’m the only person he got ATM", "post_id": "60101eda105f89002e7b0050", "reply_count": 12, "vote_count": 2, "bowl_id": "59d02db312fe2f0011e02215", "bowl_name": "Depression/Anxiety Talk" }

I’m torn. Middle of last year my parents “separated” because of my dads drinking problem (well overdue and I’m glad my mom kicked him out). He lost his job around the same time frame due to covid and started using his 401k for alcohol and honestly idk how much he has left. J moved home to support my mom and sister, but I’m torn if I should help him out because he doesn’t have work. Half of me is like this is your fault for 20+ years and the other half is just like I’m the only person he got ATM

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Please make sure you are actually helping him. Don't give him money, you'll only enable him. My family has a history of alcoholism (grandpas, father, brother), and I'm still not sure I know how to battle it. It's extremely difficult, but read about codependency and dependency in general. Don't feel guilty for his choices, do what you can but don't try to fix him.

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Have you attended any al-anon meetings? They might help you with that guilty feeling and help you learn how to live your life while he lives his.

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OP just adding my voice of support for something that is undoubtedly tough on any child. While it may be hard, helping your dad bounce back emotionally may be the best thing you can do for him. Assuming of course that he is willing to listen, and isn’t just stuck playing the victim card. I do agree that your financial help should be minimal. With that said, making sure he has a roof over his head is important, as he did provide you and your family one for many years. Even in the worst of times, I would make sure my loved ones have a roof and food on the table. Best wishes, and prayers for your family!

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Sounds like rehab would be a good option for him. Sorry you’re going through this.

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My personal two cents even though he has problems he is still your dad and if personally I go through the same situation my dad would have helped me . So do the best you can and rest god will help you and your family.

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Addiction is a disease. It’s tough and it has tough consequences for loved ones. Lot of good advice on the thread, but at the end of the day it’s important to keep in mind what you can tolerate and maintain your financial and mental wellbeing

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