I’m working in a new group of ONLY blondes... I’m trying really hard to fit in and I hate myself for it. They go to lunch together every day... cont

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😫this is soooooo hard but I feel you. 18+ years in the game and this is one of the hardest things I’ve had to navigate as a woman of color. Just being honest, I made it my business to stay up on general topics of interest that I found mildly amusing/entertaining so I could be a part of the conversation. It gets easier...trust me, but please know I know how hard this is. It’s easier for men I think... but keep trying and definitely be social enough that you don’t look like you are ostracizing yourself.

likesmarthelpful

Exactly! Be the change you want to see...you also may be way more mature than the group in general so you can elevate the convo ✊🏾

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I don’t wanna appear to be a grump, but I also don’t wanna go to lunch with them everyday. And I don’t want to take part in their gossip sessions. I don’t dgaf what each of them buys when they go shopping every weekend. We just care about such different things and have very little in common, but I don’t want to be perceived as being anti social. I hate this, y’all. Any tips/advice?

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Find common ground and play on that. The analyst under me is a blonde mountain girl who grew up in a very white community listening to Indy and country music. Here’s examples to get the ball rolling with people out of your race:

Who’s at the top of your playlist right now? *listen to their fav song* - Omg can’t believe I never heard of this band, this is 🔥. Going to any concerts soon?

I asked if she played sports in HS or college. Boom we both ran track, connection.

Do you have a boyfriend? Oh how long you been dating?you two sound cute, let me see a picture of both of you. Awwwee

Any travel plans for the holidays? Do you have a thanksgiving family tradition you’re looking forward to? No, what was thanksgiving like growing up for you?

I mean this really isn’t hard to come up with something to relate to. Yeah not everything is going to be a connection. I don’t really follow sports, but I still can make friends with guys who watch sports center all day. Don’t make it a race thing, that’s all in your head. Only you are putting those barriers up

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Today my manager let us know how she told one of the other blonde’s boyfriend not to let her “Jew” him because he wanted something expensive and she doesn’t think it’s a good financial choice. 🙃 They also laugh at this manager’s attempts at “street talk”. Don’t tell me the race thing isn’t real. It is. I am mature enough to make that call.

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