🐠 in committed relationships: do you get tired of being the boss lady and want your SO to pretend it’s the 1950’s ever? This just started for me and I don’t understand it. 🥳☹️

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Yeah, sometimes. My theory is that it's emotional labor and that there's an unequal division there or balance. For example, if you are boss lady at work👏 (you go, girl!), if you have to plan the dates, think of when to go on vacation, keep track of household things, friends' birthdays, etc., that's a lot! It's exhausting.

I love being the boss at home and at work, but to not burn out, my SO and I discussed this issue (there are articles on this), and he's now taking ownership of some of the household/relationships management. Even delegation can be annoying because you have to spend energy thinking about it. Maybe he'll feel more empowered in relationship as well!

likehelpful

I’m in the same exact boat. I sent him some article I found in this bowl for perspective, and he finally got it! He’s been helping so much more now.

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I’m fine with boss lady at work but I don’t want to have to be boss lady in the relationship

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I’m not going to lie. When I leave work and go back to my SO, I literally refuse to think or do anything. He makes most if not all the choices. Ie dates, organizing which friends birthdays we go to, where we go to eat and sometimes even cooks 🙏🏽. All I do is show up. It’s amazing! Now don’t get me wrong if there is a household topic that needs to be addressed we discuss it or if it’s a critical issue it’s a joint effort, but all that small stuff he takes care of. Occasionally I will plan things, but it’s mostly all him and I am soooo happy that we both love the dynamic. He says it makes him “feel like a man to take care of me”. And ladies, if that what makes him feel like a man and gives me less headaches, i’m not going emasculate him. So to answer your question ain’t nothing wrong with it!! 🙌🏽👏🏽

likesmart

Can you and your French hubby start a matchmaking service? I’m a French-speaker! I have no kids, willing to relocate, good job prospects. Merci mille fois 🤣🤣🤣

My husband and I have a chore contract. We went through and documented every chore that needs to get done on a regular basis, how long each one takes, and then divided them up so the time ends up being about equal. It’s also divided by which things we either want to do or hate less. Ad how stuff we take it as it comes. We revisit this about once a year. It has been in place for the 8+ years we have been married.

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Boss lady in what regard? Financially or being the brain in the relationship 😂

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Both financially and brain - I just feel stuck in a bad relationship

Leave.

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My guy would never be okay with me being a full-on boss-lady at home. He’s very strong willed and believes in teamwork - some things he owns/drives/pushes and I do others.

I saw a great play about exactly this! It’s called ‘Home, I’m Darling’ by Laura Wade, about a modern career woman who ends up acting like a 50s housewife - would really recommend seeing/reading it, made me think a lot

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