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It's almost impossible not to cause some noise at work. One manager put his hand on my thigh at a work party and I ended up having to sit in a team room with him for the next few months. Every time I saw him I would punch his arm and go "hey buddy!" I don't think he received any message but he did see me as more of a friend and less of a target
I think we don't say anything because we are shocked, embarrassed, and feel awkward. Saying something would make it even more awkward and maybe it feels too risky with a career. But now that I am older I look back and wish I had said something because my silence only made me uncomfortable, not him. And it was his fault.
As a first-year associate, I had a client tell me (at a dinner) we would get better service from our waitress if I would just make-out with her. My first thought was , “Ha! Is that the best you can come up with?!”. My second, however, was pity for him. My third, was anger towards my two male colleagues (a director and manager at the time) for cowardly snickering as they too thought it was a “nerdy” attempt at harassment.
I chuckled at the client’s comment and said something to the effect of “she’s not my type, so she’s all yours, bud.”
My female partner called me into her office to chat, probably to test the waters to see if I was going to take action; since the director and manager had said something to her. She told me his behavior was not appropriate, and I assured her I had dealt with him myself. I was happy it was acknowledged, but more so disappointed in the way it was handled. It seemed my two male colleagues were more concerned I would report the matter than if I was ok.
My parents, especially my father, who worked in client service were very open with me about sexual harassment and so I had the tools to deal with the scenarios. I can’t imagine how someone more sheltered would have felt or how they would have reacted.
I am now a manager and have been with the firm for 9+ years. This is the only instance of harassment I can remember, however, we all have our own threshold.
D1 praise
Was car called on the street recently (not metoo worthy I know) but I thought damn people still do that?
@d1 good for you. Praise sister