{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Interesting statistic I just saw: Today 50% of women aged 30 do not currently have children. This is the highest it’s been since they began keeping records of it. 🤯", "post_id": "6202a9ae9f725d002b3e0c54", "reply_count": 900, "vote_count": 393, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "The Work-Life Bowl", "feed_type": "bowl" }
null

Interesting statistic I just saw: Today 50% of women aged 30 do not currently have children. This is the highest it’s been since they began keeping records of it. 🤯

likeupliftinghelpfulfunnysmart
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I'm seeing a lot of responses focused on financials, economy, etc. Have any of you considered the fact that majority of parents have never taken the time to truly learn who they are and how to regulate their own emotions? People need to invest in themselves and make strides in their mental health before bringing life into this world. That's where generational patterns continue and kids shoulder their parent's emotional traumas, because the parent has no identity of their own. Rarely do I see parents that have taken the time to discover their own values and find confidence in who they are as an individual before procreating. It makes me cringe when I see parents posting non-stop of their children and do nothing for themselves. It's not honorable that your only motivation in life is your children.

I'm lucky to live in a time where it's socially acceptable for men and women to invest in themselves as individuals before marriage and popping out kids - kids who then have to deal with their parent's unresolved issues. Working on yourself should be your first priority.

likesmart

💯

I would fall in that statistic, and so do many of my friends.

I think it is unkind to assume that people like me are more selfish. I would even dare say that it's hypocritical because when people are responsible and *decide* to have a kid+ you do so for yourself. You wanted that for your life - a self-centered decision. As it should be! But please try to rethink that point of view that it's "selfish" to not want kids.

I would also like to thank those who are vulnerable and open about how they feel after having kids - even those that think they may have made a different decision. Unfortunately, many people frown upon those who just don't have the same experience as them or meet their expectations of how you're supposed to feel. I am thankful to hear both sides! Both are just as valuable to hear. (And I bet ya way more popular than most think 😉)

And finally I would like to say...

Times are changing rapidly, especially since the pandemic. Some of us feel very unsure of where the world is headed and if it will be a place where we will want to raise children in or leave children behind to.

I would also agree with a lot of the previously mentioned - but wanted to call out some things I would love people to consider 💟

Thanks for reading!

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30 is so young lol, I am practically still a child myself at 28

likefunnysmarthelpful

I mean, the “cliff” is just based on averages. Your personal cliff could be 25…or 45. Using the whole “well, my coworker’s mom’s dog’s friend’s owner had 5 kids in her 40s so science is wrong” is just silly. Figure out your own reproductive health.

likesmart

Probably a mixture of a lot of things right? Women generally aren’t as pressured by society to have children anymore. Some folks can’t afford them. Some folks are opting out for whatever reason.


None of it aligns with my personal beliefs or world views, but it’s their life & their right to do so.

likefunny

If anything, women are pressured NOT to have children until they’re “ready,” which doesn’t exist. When my wife had her first at 23, not exactly that young historically, she was told by many friends and family that it’s a bad decision and she’s way too young to have children yet because it’ll ruin her life.

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Working Mom of 3 - good for women! Having children absolutely positively is not for everyone! I pay $45k a year in daycare expenses, work like a dog in every way possible and if I drop the ball my children are the only ones that suffer. I don’t have a real partner and I don’t have many friends who do. I’m glad society has changed. Being a working mom is a forever losing battle. I am exhausted but my love for my children drives me to get back up. I worry more about ensuring I live until my children are raised then my own well-being. It’s tough.

likeupliftingsmarthelpfulfunny

Amazing post, thank you for sharing. I praise for your strength and sacrifice you are making. I do hope you find peace of alone time for yourself. Being a working women and a mother is a full time job.

3 causes, in my opinion:

1) Birth control is more available and effective than ever - this definitely a good thing

2) There is significantly less social pressure to get married and have kids - this is mostly a good thing

3) When it comes to serious dating, our standards (especially women's) have never been higher - this is mostly a good thing

That being said, our society is in deep trouble if we can't find enough labor within the next generation.

likefunnysmart

Pressure to not have kids is not a good thing. Having super high standards is not a good thing.

Probably for the best tbh. A lot of people are simply not ready to be parents

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There were a lot of kids I grew up with who’s parents had no right having kids, mine included. I came from a more difficult world than I live in today and I’m glad there’s been a flip. Hopefully, some of the toxic traits carried from generations can die off.

like

America is hostile to mothers

likefunnysmart

And you know which group is often most hostile to mothers?

Upper middle class women who are unmarried and/or childless and treat stay-at-home moms like they’re second class citizens.

Wouldn’t be surprised if the pandemic is delaying things a bit. I can’t imagine trying to raise a child during all of this. If you have a 3-4 year old, roughly half of the child’s life has been affected by the pandemic. If you have a 5-6 year old, the child has yet to experience anything close to a regular experience at school. And we have yet to know what lasting impact the pandemic will have on children’s learning and development.

likesmarthelpfulfunny

My husband and I also delayed trying due to the pandemic. Now due in June this year but would have been 12-18 months earlier had it not been for the pandemic.

I have 3 kids…and yet had 0 when I was 30. Some of these comments around fertility and age are very dated and not up on what doctors advise now.

likesmarthelpfulfunny

The best age for a woman to have a baby physically is 18. Barely anyone has that goal because there are many other factors that go into pregnancy than physical, such as emotional and financial wellbeing. But if it was based on physical age alone, everyone would be having kids younger.

funny

This country should be putting more efforts to make the raising of children less of a burden. Something maybe like a national day care program. I think helping take care of kids can help build more national unity and connections to the community. Similar to military service, you give 2-4 years being a nanny, tutor, or another job in the program and you get tuition assistance for college.

likefunnysmart

Canada is implementing 10 dollar a day daycare

likehelpful

Daycare is way too expensive, I could lease a Ferrari for the money spent on having strangers watching my mini-me

likefunny

This is so true

like

I am 33 and not planning on having kids.
They are too expensive.
The post pregnancy time off is a joke.
Afterwards it’s either hiring a nanny while you work that will cost 1/6 of your salary or stay at home (if you married rich) and risk never having a career again.

And for what?

So the child would be forced to compete in even harsher conditions than we have to now with the upcoming clean water scarcity, global warming, potential wars on chemo/nuclear levels, everything getting more expensive, salaries not rising, not being able to afford life anywhere on a minimum wage, healthcare that keeps you an injury away from being bankrupt

I don’t want to birth slaves for the elite that enriches through exploiting us

If you really love your children — don’t have them

likehelpfulupliftingsmartfunny

*looks at all of hunan history and all living people today*

You know who has it bad and should never bring more children into the world? Educated people in 1st world countries. The worst possible future awaits!

funny

32 partnerned successful female here - no interest in having kids (yes I froze my eggs as back up plan). I think a lot of the explanations around 1. Too expensive 2. Career ambition 3. Not right partner are missing the boat (though not to say those aren’t massive concerns for people) - having kids just seems miserable, I enjoy my life and freedom, have never once in my life had a desire to dedicate my life to raising kids. Think there are probably more of us like this than people think

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I would say having kids is far from miserable if you actually want kids but if you don't of course you are going to find it miserable. Yes there were times I wanted to go it but couldn't because I had no one to watch my daughter however, when I think about my life before, There is no way I would trade my life. Yes I could travel more if I didn't have my daughter but I enjoy traveling with my daughter and love giving her experiences I never had. Also I acknowledge having kids is expensive, fortunately I never had to put my daughter in daycare, whichbis a big chunk of expenses. I find a big problem in America is the lack of help you get when having kids. Im not saying society should help raise your kids but I strongly believe help from family is essential. Luckily my family is very helpful. I helped raised my sisters kids and they help me with my daughter now. I talk to many of my American friends who say they have to pay or bribe their mom/family to help with their children. This is crazy and one reason it's so difficult for parents. I find that to be a very American notion

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That's a lot of people creeping up to the geriatric pregnancy age. Interesting.

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That's the life of a parent. I have two children and know it very well.

You should read up on how the pandemic unfairly put the burden on women, in addition to the existing challenges for women in the work place. While there are many great job and growth opportunities for women, many employers demand longer hours, more productivity, limited flexibility. Its a struggle to balance a career with long hours, children, Dr appointments, childcare that ends by 5pm, etc. Studies show that women with children get ‘penalized’.

The point of this comment is that employers really need to improve the working conditions for all their employees, including working parents. We should demand work and life balance, as well as maternity/paternity benefits.

likesmartfunny

This is absolutely correct and the plight that I am facing.

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Is that shocking? It’s expensive, Women aren’t treated the same in the workplace, taking time off in America is seen as a luxury and not a right, I wouldn’t have kids either if I was a lady.

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APM 1 - oh gosh talk about wanting to k*ll someone that would ask such idiot question!!!

It’s funny how the same people looking down on low income people for having kids they can’t afford are the same people shaming women for putting off having children they can’t afford because of healthcare, childcare, and housing costs.

likesmart

Ditto the answer of Christian conservatives and misogynists.

like

It’s also probably the easiest time women can choose not to have children. BC methods are so much more effective today than at other points in history, so it’s actually in women’s control instead of chance.

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@BAH3 I’m just saying that it’s better than other times in history, not that there isn’t a long way to go still.

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Many statistics show unmarried childless children in their 30s are the happiest demographic, so I don’t understand why people get surprised by this

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I think I saw one about single women in particular.

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There are many foster children who would love to be adopted. There are many refugees who would love to find a home. It would be nice if we could be more concerned about taking care of the people who already are alive and need help than about creating new people.

likeupliftingsmart

Yes this is exactly how I feel! We're on the waitlist to get approved for adoption through the foster care system.

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Late stage capitalism has most Americans living paycheck to paycheck even if they are single. How can people be expected to successfully raise a family when they are being denied financial freedom?

likefunny

@PwC13 for some of us it isn’t bar-hopping. How’s the symphony orchestra where you live? The selection of modern (20th-21st) classical music? The modern art museums? The theatre? How many developmental workshops and readings of new plays and musicals do you get to attend? How about community orchestras? (We have 40 here, and my partner and a few of our friends play in different ones.)

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