Interesting statistic I just saw: Today 50% of women aged 30 do not currently have children. This is the highest it’s been since they began keeping records of it. 🤯

I'm seeing a lot of responses focused on financials, economy, etc. Have any of you considered the fact that majority of parents have never taken the time to truly learn who they are and how to regulate their own emotions? People need to invest in themselves and make strides in their mental health before bringing life into this world. That's where generational patterns continue and kids shoulder their parent's emotional traumas, because the parent has no identity of their own. Rarely do I see parents that have taken the time to discover their own values and find confidence in who they are as an individual before procreating. It makes me cringe when I see parents posting non-stop of their children and do nothing for themselves. It's not honorable that your only motivation in life is your children.

I'm lucky to live in a time where it's socially acceptable for men and women to invest in themselves as individuals before marriage and popping out kids - kids who then have to deal with their parent's unresolved issues. Working on yourself should be your first priority.

I would fall in that statistic, and so do many of my friends.

I think it is unkind to assume that people like me are more selfish. I would even dare say that it's hypocritical because when people are responsible and *decide* to have a kid+ you do so for yourself. You wanted that for your life - a self-centered decision. As it should be! But please try to rethink that point of view that it's "selfish" to not want kids.

I would also like to thank those who are vulnerable and open about how they feel after having kids - even those that think they may have made a different decision. Unfortunately, many people frown upon those who just don't have the same experience as them or meet their expectations of how you're supposed to feel. I am thankful to hear both sides! Both are just as valuable to hear. (And I bet ya way more popular than most think 😉)

And finally I would like to say...

Times are changing rapidly, especially since the pandemic. Some of us feel very unsure of where the world is headed and if it will be a place where we will want to raise children in or leave children behind to.

I would also agree with a lot of the previously mentioned - but wanted to call out some things I would love people to consider 💟

Thanks for reading!

Probably a mixture of a lot of things right? Women generally aren’t as pressured by society to have children anymore. Some folks can’t afford them. Some folks are opting out for whatever reason.


None of it aligns with my personal beliefs or world views, but it’s their life & their right to do so.

Working Mom of 3 - good for women! Having children absolutely positively is not for everyone! I pay $45k a year in daycare expenses, work like a dog in every way possible and if I drop the ball my children are the only ones that suffer. I don’t have a real partner and I don’t have many friends who do. I’m glad society has changed. Being a working mom is a forever losing battle. I am exhausted but my love for my children drives me to get back up. I worry more about ensuring I live until my children are raised then my own well-being. It’s tough.

3 causes, in my opinion:

1) Birth control is more available and effective than ever - this definitely a good thing

2) There is significantly less social pressure to get married and have kids - this is mostly a good thing

3) When it comes to serious dating, our standards (especially women's) have never been higher - this is mostly a good thing

That being said, our society is in deep trouble if we can't find enough labor within the next generation.

Probably for the best tbh. A lot of people are simply not ready to be parents

America is hostile to mothers

Wouldn’t be surprised if the pandemic is delaying things a bit. I can’t imagine trying to raise a child during all of this. If you have a 3-4 year old, roughly half of the child’s life has been affected by the pandemic. If you have a 5-6 year old, the child has yet to experience anything close to a regular experience at school. And we have yet to know what lasting impact the pandemic will have on children’s learning and development.

I have 3 kids…and yet had 0 when I was 30. Some of these comments around fertility and age are very dated and not up on what doctors advise now.

This country should be putting more efforts to make the raising of children less of a burden. Something maybe like a national day care program. I think helping take care of kids can help build more national unity and connections to the community. Similar to military service, you give 2-4 years being a nanny, tutor, or another job in the program and you get tuition assistance for college.

Daycare is way too expensive, I could lease a Ferrari for the money spent on having strangers watching my mini-me

I am 33 and not planning on having kids.
They are too expensive.
The post pregnancy time off is a joke.
Afterwards it’s either hiring a nanny while you work that will cost 1/6 of your salary or stay at home (if you married rich) and risk never having a career again.

And for what?

So the child would be forced to compete in even harsher conditions than we have to now with the upcoming clean water scarcity, global warming, potential wars on chemo/nuclear levels, everything getting more expensive, salaries not rising, not being able to afford life anywhere on a minimum wage, healthcare that keeps you an injury away from being bankrupt

I don’t want to birth slaves for the elite that enriches through exploiting us

If you really love your children — don’t have them

32 partnerned successful female here - no interest in having kids (yes I froze my eggs as back up plan). I think a lot of the explanations around 1. Too expensive 2. Career ambition 3. Not right partner are missing the boat (though not to say those aren’t massive concerns for people) - having kids just seems miserable, I enjoy my life and freedom, have never once in my life had a desire to dedicate my life to raising kids. Think there are probably more of us like this than people think

That's a lot of people creeping up to the geriatric pregnancy age. Interesting.

You should read up on how the pandemic unfairly put the burden on women, in addition to the existing challenges for women in the work place. While there are many great job and growth opportunities for women, many employers demand longer hours, more productivity, limited flexibility. Its a struggle to balance a career with long hours, children, Dr appointments, childcare that ends by 5pm, etc. Studies show that women with children get ‘penalized’.

The point of this comment is that employers really need to improve the working conditions for all their employees, including working parents. We should demand work and life balance, as well as maternity/paternity benefits.

Is that shocking? It’s expensive, Women aren’t treated the same in the workplace, taking time off in America is seen as a luxury and not a right, I wouldn’t have kids either if I was a lady.

It’s funny how the same people looking down on low income people for having kids they can’t afford are the same people shaming women for putting off having children they can’t afford because of healthcare, childcare, and housing costs.

It’s also probably the easiest time women can choose not to have children. BC methods are so much more effective today than at other points in history, so it’s actually in women’s control instead of chance.

Many statistics show unmarried childless children in their 30s are the happiest demographic, so I don’t understand why people get surprised by this

There are many foster children who would love to be adopted. There are many refugees who would love to find a home. It would be nice if we could be more concerned about taking care of the people who already are alive and need help than about creating new people.

Late stage capitalism has most Americans living paycheck to paycheck even if they are single. How can people be expected to successfully raise a family when they are being denied financial freedom?