Is anybody else staying in a toxic job/culture to build their resiliency or prove something to themselves?

Started new job (post-consulting) a year back and have seen little concern for people, constant leadership bullying, and demoralized colleagues.

However, at times in career I have felt too “soft” - not great with confrontation & only thrive in friendly environments. Is there logic in staying to build resiliency? (Or perhaps I should lower my expectation of humanity in business?)

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It depends, I have worked with difficult leaders before. It was very clear that they were busy and were annoyed with something I did (too detailed explanations ect), I choose to modify my approach to their style and things would improve. Other times they do nothing all day except to pick on me with microscope, I exhausted my options in trying to make things better and realized their goal is not even to get the job done but justifying their position by making me look incompetent. Then just gtfo ASAP.

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I think there is value in learning how to work through challenging situations and building resiliency. Learning how to stand up for yourself and not be bullied in a corporate environment is important.

Last year, my group re-org’ed and I got a new director to report to. He’s infamous in the company for being hard to work with and his reputation held true. I was suffering under his leadership. I finally decided I couldn’t take it anymore and talked to him about it. I called him out on what he said to me and how he made me feel. It completely changed our relationship. We turned from toxic to respect and I am blown away by it. The lesson I learned is that when I stood up for myself I changed the course of my career. Instead of running and quitting, I confronted the issue. I am also very non-confrontational so this was huge for me.

Personal and professional growth comes in the messy and hard parts. We need to be a little uncomfortable as we go through stages of growth.

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