Is anyone getting married in the next few months and concerned about covid? I’m wondering if I can or should say anything to my immediate family and bridal party about please laying low the few weeks before the wedding so that the people we love most will all be there. Thoughts on how to approach?

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No - please don't bring this up. You are asking people to change their routines / plan for your wedding, which is that one day. People, even wedding party, catching covid and can't attend should the same as being sick. You just gotta pivot and be ok that things happen.

Don't become a bride-zila

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I dont get why this is a bridzila material. Its fine to say to immediate family and bridal party, you just gonna message it well

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Mckinsey1, how many times do i have to say its not about asking ppl to “lay low to not get covid” but rather to use extra precautions? Covid is on the rise again at least in cities like nyc where we already have rules in place that requires ppl to still wear masks indoors and most people abide without complaining like you. You seem to be so offended by idea of asking a LIMITED number of people to take precautions, which is totally reasonable.

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I would ask immediate family and the bridal party to use caution the weeks leading up to the wedding. I would frame it as you and the groom are wearing masks, avoiding anything overly risky the weeks leading up to the wedding and would hate for any of your family or bridal party to miss it. Remember that your family and bridal party support you and your fiancé and will respect the sentiment and won’t think you are asking too much for your big day. Best of luck and stay healthy!!

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This is what we said to our family and bridal party about a month out bc we had to postpone our original wedding date due to covid. Everyone completely understood - and luckily one of our friends in the wedding party was super cautious about covid anyways and actually sent a text to our wedding group text on his own volition 2 weeks prior asking the group to be courteous to our planning and avoid risky situations. When he sent it, my husband and I got all emotional that he went out of his way to say that for us. We also provided our wedding party rapid tests to take the morning of the rehearsal dinner as an extra precaution.

Stay safe and I hope you get to enjoy a healthy and happy day!!

That is way too much to ask of people and approaches unpleasant “center of the universe” bad bride behavior. (All brides get stressed but have to be careful not to go overboard). People are adults and will manage this themselves.

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Even to parents or siblings? I certainly don’t mean all guests. My bridal shower was already derailed by a significant(and avoidable) Covid incident with my in laws and FMIL who was a cohost and she was extremely upset to miss it

No. One couple I know took their own precautions eg wore N95s indoors, stop eating indoors. You can’t ask this of people because avoiding covid now equals substantial and unreasonable changes to daily routines

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I think it’s reasonable to ask immediate family, but I think it’s tough to go all the way as to ask friends. If I did, I might go with a super personal appeal and frame it as an ask to take some precautions, but truly ask. If they think it’s unreasonable then back off and say it’s ok. I don’t know - how Covid paranoid are your friends? Also, anyone that’s had it in the last 3-6 months and is vaxxed should be fine

Agree with the comment above about it not really mattering unless you’re going to test everyone at the door - someone will have Covid at the wedding (unless it’s super tiny) so it depends if the goal is not to spread or not to have the most important people to you miss it.

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Just ask them not to test

smart

Thanks for all these answers. Definitely got some unexpected reactions here- nowhere did I mention asking people to literally not go indoors anywhere or wear masks for weeks. To those who understood my intentions and gave their honest POVs, whether you said yes or no, I appreciate it. This was definitely helpful and has given me some things to think about.

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For your bridal party, I think it’s fair to ask them not to attend a concert or any big event for the few weeks before but I wouldn’t ask them to not go places at all. You could ask that they wear an N95 for the 2 weeks before and give them a couple as part of any bridal party favors you give.

I would ask people to send proof of vaccination ahead of the wedding as part of their RSVP and to take a rapid test “at the door” (which you should pay for and you can get some for free through the government program) as well as buy a thermometer gun to screen people. Your wedding planner or a bridesmaid could handle this screening process so you don’t have to be the bad guy. If you’re having a big rehearsal dinner, having everyone test that night would be best so it’s not an issue with the craziness of the wedding (and then you’re only testing a smaller group day-of). If you aren’t testing or otherwise screening all the guests, I don’t really see the point in doing so with your bridal party. They are young and unlikely to get so sick they can’t participate and if your concern is spreading the virus, well some other guest will probably show up Covid positive anyway, especially if you have Covid deniers in your extended family. If you have elderly relatives they would probably appreciate you having a strict screening process.

I think it's up to people how they want to act and it won't be in my position to ask them not to attend events. Again, it's a big day for ME, not to anyone else, not even the wedding party. Yes - they have a bigger role than as a wedding guest, but I am already asking them to arrive early, rehearsal, etc. It's just too much of an ask to wear a mask two weeks leading up to an event.

I think proof of vaccination and testing are fair as long as it doesn't add extra burden to the guests

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