Is it a red flag if my boyfriend of 3 years doesn’t like introducing me to his high school or college friends? His excuse usually is I don’t know them that well and it wouldn’t matter if you met them. But very occasionally he does meet them time to time and he never feels the need to introduce me to them. FYI he has been introduced to every single one of my friends

likehelpful
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

Even though he hasn’t introduced you to them do they know about you?

likehelpful

You think? It’s been three years they should know about you

likefunny

My ex was like this and even though it bothered me, it wasn’t a dealbreaker. I was also probably younger than you at the time and less likely to put up with this now. That being said, I didn’t think it was a dealbreaker at the time because my ex was pretty socially awkward, somewhat bullied in the past, and didn’t particularly care about his high school and college friends. He would complain about them all the time and would say he would not mind if he lost touch (which he eventually did). He also had introduced me to his family and I was somewhat close to his mom. Probably need more context on your situation but whether and to what extent he has introduced you to his family or other important people is relevant.

like

It has more to do with him than you. I think he is insecure, afraid of judgment from his “friends” and perhaps immature. His friend group might be toxic af. This was my experience. My ex would tell me that his friend group was judgmental and would find a way to judge me. It wasn’t bc I was weird or anything, that was just the dynamic of the group. He didn’t want to deal with that. Despite my ex’s reluctance, I did end up meeting a couple of these friends very briefly throughout the course of our relationship bc they came to his house to pick him up while I was there. After those encounters my ex said he thought I was “too friendly.” To be fair, I was probably overcompensating given the build up of the situation. However, he was also projecting insecurities bc his previous serious girlfriend started hooking up with someone in his friend group right after breaking up with him and he went through a really rough time bc of it.

like
Recent IconRecent

Listen to your intuition.

like

Yes

like

Three years?? Is he socially very awkward or is he not serious about the relationship?

like

You should know if he’s serious by now

like

My ex only introduced me to a handful of his friends. I definitely called him out for it but never read into it too much because there always seemed to be a compelling reason for why it didn’t make sense for me to tag along with the guys. One day after 3.5 years of dating he randomly ghosted me. I was completely caught off guard and found out later it was because he was ENGAGED to someone else all along (they got married a few months after we broke up). Im not saying your bfs behavior is a deal breaker and every relationship is different but as someone who has been on the worst possible end of it, I would advise you to tread lightly.

likehelpful

What the heck ?! Yikes! I am so sorry that happened to you

Do you at least know his other friends that he does feel “matter and knows well”? Because if you don’t, THEN that’s a HUGE red flag. If you know his actual friends and just not these, he just may not feel like it’s a big deal to introduce you because these people don’t matter to him similarly to what P1 was saying about friends who he could easily lose contact with. If what I’m guessing is accurate, I agree with P1 that it’s not a huge dealbreaker.

Also have you guys had discussions about your future (for ex. not generically “I want to get married one day” but specifically “I want to marry you”) to understand the seriousness of your relationship, cuz maybe for him if you haven’t, that could be another reason why it’s not a big deal to introduce.

likehelpful

Maybe he doesn’t want you to know something silly/stupid he did in high school and is embarrassed of? And he doesn’t trust that those friends will not bring it up.

like

It seems like he’s not fighting it that hard? Maybe you just push harder to see them next time?

funny

OP - the above comment is making me say something that I don't wish do. I'll just say I am sorry. More power to!

funny

Yeah this is strange. He should be proud to introduce you to ANYONE as his lady!!

uplifting

... i don't think you have to meet every single person in his life. If you know his friends and family that are close to him then fine. It's weird that you say "uncle" specifically... Like, why isn't he just part of the rest of the family? Maybe you are hung up cause you heard him say once he was gonna meet them, maybe he doesn't even see them that much, you are just super attentive to when he does cause you are hung up on them.

funny

Serious question - does he still have friends from that time of his life? Is he kind of an introvert? Maybe he thinks you’re too “cool” for his friends or is insecure about them.

like

OP stated a friend from that time period came to pick him up at his house and she wanted to go out to greet him. He said that’d be weird.

like

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

funny

Red Flag. Get rid of him and find someone that can’t wait to introduce you to everyone they know. That’s the man you want to marry!

like

Are these people real friends or people he used to be friends with who he sees once/twice a year because he doesn't want to say he's just not interested in hanging out with them anymore? I have a childhood friend like that who I avoid telling anything personal to when I get stuck seeing her (usually it's when we've both been invited to something by a third party). She's very bossy and thinks she always knows better than me, despite the fact that her life is a disaster and mine isn't, so I try not to tell her details of my life because I don't want to hear all her opinions about how I should change my life.

Related Posts

PwC UK referrals? DM me

like

Any moving & storage recommendations? Need to keep my 1BR furniture somewhere for three weeks.

like

Hi everyone

Can you tell me about the work culture in Capgemini.. I am 5 yeas experienced

What is the base pay scale range for Product Manager in Product based company vs Service companies

like

As a creative, what are the best kind of agencies/jobs for higher income? Im tired of the hunt for awards with low $

like

These are actually nicer in person! And got account services approval

Post Photo
like

Do your enterprise teams hire freelancers / contract workers from somewhere ? If yes from where ? I see toptal is getting very popular

like
like

It was Lola’s birthday on Saturday. She’s 7!

Post Photo
likeupliftingsmart

When applying to be a hardware engineer are you still expected to go through multiple rounds of coding challenges?

like

I'm an experienced Generalist/HRBP for an extremely high volume/large org. I have a masters in HROD and SHRM-CP. My role is getting to be more and more transactional by the day, all my strategic projects get pushed to the side by the endless daily fires that are, inevitably, tracking down employees and data entry. I'm actively looking for a new role (preferably Sr generalist etc), but can't seem to stand out among the crowd. Any tips? Louisville, KY.

like

I am a recent law clerk applying for AUSA positions. Any advice on how to stand out? Any successful stories out there currently working as an AUSA?

like

When the CEO of the startup says he wants to hire you and that you’ll be part of the founding team (which he considers the first 10 employees) is there a minimum equity you should expect?
* assuming you are not coming in as a VP, but someone very valuable for the growth of the company.

like

What is there in the new hire kit ? (Some branded products i think) Has anyone taken it ?

like

Hey Guys,

I am looking for a referral on product based companies for Java developer. Please ping me for the same.

Thanks

like

Got a offer from Deloitte india and not USI in Consulting division. Skill SAP Technical. How's the practice and what's the difference between India and usi practice. DeloitteDeloitte USIDeloitte India.

Your inputs will be really helpful.

like

I recently got a job offer from Facebook. Super excited but I’m terrified of moving away. They said after the pandemic, I will be required to move up north. What are the pros you’ve experienced moving away?

like

Best tacos in San Antonio?

like

Hi , can someone help me with the resignation process in cgi? Do we jus need to drop a mail to manager or any request needs to be raised in the portal? And if it is just mail, then what happens if manager is on long leave for 2 weeks?

like

Additional Posts in Women In Consulting

I’m pretty reserved and quiet. I do good 1-on-1, but I tend to listen more than talk. Has anyone had success in opening up more or becoming outgoing?

like

I feel angry and bitter at everything when I am going through a tough time including snap at my family who are well meaning. How do you cope with a bad patch. How do you stay strong mentally when life is hard or unfair?

like

I’m dating someone new and it is going very well. He is kind, not high strung, with great values and shares my sense of humor. It is so easy and natural to spend multiple days with him.
Still I am having doubts because I think he isn’t very “intellectual”. To be clear, he’s intelligent! He is a great STEM role that requires an advanced degree. We share a love of reading as well. However he is not really interested in world affairs, does not follow the news closely, does not have a strong grasp

likehelpful

What’s a good way to get your personal data scrubbed off the internet?

like

I just transitioned to a new role in a newly created team where I’m basically building the team (startup). I’m working with two execs who I like and have a lot of background with but I’m still really overwhelmed at the lack of structure. I feel like I could just wrap myself in circles. There’s so much that needs to be done and I feel like I’m drowning. Has anyone done anything similar? Any advice?

like

Any self help books for women who don’t have good relationships (and possibly are depressed and jaded)? Maybe something for courage to lead a life without depending on others

like

From 22-27 I dated a guy who worked all the time with the hope we would get married. Lots of time spent alone since he was never around on trips and so called vacations. Recently, I broke up with him and just am really feeling like I wasted my twenties. I saw two girls walking down the street yesterday with pink balloons that spelled “23”... what I would give to have not wasted my time with this guy. Has anyone ever gone through this?

likehelpful

I got to know someone thru work, and flirted a bit over 1 week. Then we never spoke again because of work geography. He reached out this week after 9 months+ asking for a visa sponsor to take a vacay in my country (given mobility restriction these days), and asked me to hook him up with a business visa referral letter thru my connections. He also said he’s coming with gf. I said im happy to write him a personal reference letter, but wont be able to get him a business one. Is this rude?

like

What should I watch on Apple TV?

like

Recommendations for a good therapist conducting virtual visits? Particularly interested in someone who specializes in stress related to work and family. Female preferred. Thanks, ladies

like

I just feel this overwhelming apathy towards everything, I don’t feel motivated to work harder at my job, personal life is meh, don’t remember the last time I was actually happy. The only thing that I remotely enjoy is working out, life seems pointless otherwise. I don’t know what is wrong with me?

like

The joys of being an adult - just refinanced w00t 🥰

likeupliftingfunny

I recently presented to some potential new hires on a video call. DURING the call, one of the potential hires sent me a DM on LinkedIn saying "Hey ;) Maybe we can collaborate" What the hell do I do? It feels so unprofessional. This guy has already been offered a job, we were just trying to convince them to accept. But I am uncomfortable.

likefunny

Any single ladies in atlanta who own a townhome/condo? In what neighborhood do you live? Starting the house hunt and wanted some insight.

like

Looking for cute winter winter jackets for a petite woman (I’m 5’2”). Any leads? Everything I try just looks like it was made for someone bigger than me...thanks!

like

Got invited to a wedding which took me by surprise because we haven’t kept in touch in over 4 years. Is it rude if I don’t go moreover don’t leave anything in the registry? :/

like

Is it just me or does everyone struggle to make decisions that affect the next few years? (E.g., job, house, car etc.) - I have some criteria and I started to eliminate and then found two options with comparable pros and cons and now just paralyzed in analysis without being able to move forward. Ugh. Everything I could think of I have done - asked for advice, slept on it, taken a walk and looked at everything again but I just feel stuck.

like

How often are you ladies, living with their SO, having sex in the current situation? Pre COVID for me it was 3-4x a week but now he doesn’t seem to be into it. Spends his day working & nights gaming😭

like

Just finished Indian Matchmaking. Has anyone else watched it? What are your thoughts?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal