Is it racist for a black fan to be upset (comment on their photo) that their favorite black celebrity has chosen a white girlfriend? "Are there no black ladies available".
Two friends feel differently - one says the black fan is racist towards the white gf and the other says the fan is ignorant but not racist. What do you think? Please explain your stand. Thanks!

likefunny
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No not racist 🙄

like

Edited.

Not racist at all. People need to do some serious reading.

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Yes. Being against interracial relationships is racist.
And it happens on both sides.

— mixed person

likefunny

I think it’s because there’s this implicit notion that once a black athlete has “made it” in life that they feel like a white spouse is now a status of that success. For that reason I wouldn’t say it’s racist rather just ignorance because it’s not the skin they don’t like it’s the idea the that black person that has an issue with the interracial couple is viewed as less than which brings about their disdain of the couple.

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It is confirmation bias. Black men intermarry more than black women across incomes/education levels. Intermarriage among black men and women increases with income/education level. 

Yes successful black men intermarry more but so do successfully black women. There are high profile examples of what you described but there’s also Obama, Lebron, Jay Z

That's neither racism nor ignorance...

like

Some dude's opinion about some other dude's partner preference?

Racism is systemic and involves power dynamics. Ignorance...what lack of knowledge is there here?

likefunny

Oh I hope this is taken the way I’m intending it…maybe it’s not “racist “ but concern. I’m a Jewish woman (and not at all religious) but I cringe that so many Jewish men marry non-Jews. I feel that it’s killing our culture more than the religious aspect. Jews make up less than 1% of the world population - so we are another huge minority and let’s face it, we are also discriminated against, misunderstood and scapegoated. I can’t help but feel that it’s a bit of a of a betrayal of our ancestry…maybe this is more of the feeling you’re having more than “racism?”

likesmart

I hear what you're saying here as another Jewish woman, but I think in this case it's a little different. If a Black person marries and has kids with a white person, in the United States the kids are considered Black and are treated as such. They will essentially be raised as black people by default (and what does that mean anyway? There's isn't really one unified Black American culture anymore as more immigrants come from Africa and the Caribbean who don't have the same history of slavery and/or Jim Crow).

In short, it would take an awful lot - like multiple generations of interracial marriage - for someone to not be Black anymore in the United States.

To be Jewish, however, is not only to be born to a Jewish mother, but also to be imbued with a religio-culture that people have to be inculcated with through education and socialization.

With that said there are many Jewish men who take out their self-hatred on Jewish women, outright refusing to consider dating Jewish women due to their acceptance of a host of anti-anti-semitic stereotypes. Lord knows Black men are as bad if not worse (you should see/hear some of the things some Black men say about Black women. It's disgusting). But at the same time i don't want to be forced to be a captive audience for people who don't want to date me and also don't want to be forced to date people I don't want to just because it's will satisfy an external collective.

No one owns anybody or has special rights to mating opportunities within a specific group. The men of my tribe have no exclusive right to or "first dibs" on my body and the flipside of that is that I don't have first dibs on theirs.

It's a hard balancing act that i think comes down to motives for dating out...

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Yes it is

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Which one and why?

Oh god

likefunny

I think the question from this scenario is “does reverse racism exist?”

like

Not reverse. Just racism.

likefunnyuplifting

Why do people feel the need to comment on who someone is dating, particularly wrt race? None of anyone else's business really.

likesmart

Person 1. They believe a black person cannot be racist towards a white person because there is no power dynamic. However, a black person can discriminate and be a bigot towards a white person and that can hurt said white person.

Person 2. They believe Black people can be racist towards a white person, black people, any race, and it's based on feeling of prejudice and bias towards any race. They believe reverse racism doesn't exist because it's just racism.

I disagree with one of the stands but want to know what others think.

helpful

These 2 positions are basically the same except for what word is used during a subset of wrong behavior.

One side wants the word racist to be specifically minority targeting while using bigot for a wider group of discrimination including “racism” against the majority group, the other doesn’t.

Like all fights over definitions, they tend to not really matter and you can just determine how people use terms and then have a conversation knowing that. So you’d mostly just switch to discussing bigotry and saying bigotry, if you didn’t like the shrunk scope for term racism, and boom you’re still talking.

Not racist just sad that that’s their feeling towards it.

I don't know if it's that the fan is racist but they are operating from a misguided sense of Black nationalism where Black people are expected to submit all of their personal life decisions large and small to what is perceived as the good of the Black collective. It can be oppressive to that individual who just met and fell for someone.

This is not to say that that Black celebrity might have some internalized anti-black racism that prevents him from seeing Black woman as serious girlfriend material. This could also and very likely be true. But to criticize people for dating non-Black people seems very 90s, like something out of 'Waiting to Exhale".

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