Is it reasonable to take off three weeks after the death of your only sibling? It was cancer which was a drawn out and exhausting process. I originally told my firm I’d just need two weeks but I don’t think that’s the case anymore.

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Take all the time you need to take. I apologize that this industry (and capitalism generally) has made it such that you have to ask this question.

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First and most importantly, I'm sorry for your loss. Can't imagine the toll that must have on you and your family.

Regarding work--take the time. Your firm should be understanding. And if not, they're not worth it.

Work is really important. Family, and properly grieving, is much much more important.

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We had an associate who had one of their parents die from COVID, and I think they were out for close to 2 months (which not a single team member complained about, to my knowledge)... They should be understanding, and if they're not, lateral.

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Yes yes yes yes. Take 3 weeks. Take 3 months. Whatever you need.

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Take as much time as you need, even longer than 3 weeks, you can even take a leave of absence. As others said, if the firm isn’t understanding, then you really don’t want to work there anyways

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Definitely take the time. Doesn’t matter that you said two weeks at first. I think people understand that grief isn’t a straight line. And if you end up wanting/needing more time down the road, take it.

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As someone who lost a sibling unexpectedly early in my big law career, do NOT feel pressure to come back to work early. Take all the time you want even if it’s months. I came in after 2 weeks had a break down mid meeting and had to leave early for the week. Tried again after 3 weeks, same thing. Grieving is normal. The toxic US work culture makes us think we need to quickly move on and get over it and just throw ourselves into work. This is not something you get over and masking your very valid feelings with work makes things worse IMO. You also have no control over what people at work will say to you about the situation (how break down #2 at the office happened). This is a fragile time. You are dealing with something many people don’t understand. Show yourself kindness and make yourself a priority because nobody else will. Sending you strength.

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It’s reasonable to take as much time as you feel is necessary to let you process and deal with a trauma. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks is enough time.

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I had to abruptly leave when my stepfather was nearing the end of his cancer fight. I told my firm I didn't know when I'd be back (doctors weren't sure how much longer he'd hold on but told us to come say our goodbyes). He passed within hours of my arrival to see him. I ended up taking close to 3 weeks to say and help my mom make arrangements. I wish I had taken more time for myself after that. Nobody said a thing though. Firm sent flowers and did not press me on my return date. I was still anxious to get back because I had only just started there a few months before.

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I went through this in high school. my older and only sister died of a brain tumor. I was 16 and couldn't process the grief and pain and threw myself into schoolwork. In hindsight, I would
have taken the time I needed to fully be there with my family instead of worrying still about obligations and other pressures. I realize it's different but I still deal with the loss every day, more than 20 years later. Take all the time you need, and then take some more. Your parents need you. Your boss doesn't need you.

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Sorry for your loss. Yes. Take whatever time you need. I once worked with a attorney who lost his brothers and father within 2 weeks, and he took almost the entire summer off. I just lost my FIL, after hospitalization-hospice care- death- funeral. My past 2 months are a turmoil, and I took a solid 2 weeks off. My team is very understanding. Just make sure that you explicitly tell your team that you are off so that they can fine cover for your projects.

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Take as much time as you need. Family is family. Sorry for your loss.

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I’m so sorry for your loss. Take all the time you need. I just lost my mom and am back after my 5 token days of bereavement. It feels too soon.

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Sorry to hear about your loss. Take all the time you need.

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Totally. Most Clients understand too and despise firms / practice groups that don’t respect their workers or family time in moments like this . I’m one of them. Take all the time and if any partner gives you a hard time, remind them the real reason as to why they chose to enter the legal profession in first place and where their sense of humanity has gone.

Sorry for your loss. Take as much time as you need. I came back too soon after my mom passed away - didn’t get me anything but yelled at for not being on my game.

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