Is it too much to ask someone to go away for the weekend for a fourth date? We've had three really great dates before and she's spent the night so I feel like it's ok, but I don't want to scare her off. Thought a lake-side cabin thing would be romantic but my sister says that's sometimes a red flag, so also asking what's an appropriate place to go/stay. Should I pick a hotel instead?

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It’s probably a bit much this early in the game to go away in general. Solid idea for later on but stick to an afternoon or evening date local for now.

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6 months feels too long to me. This is why it’s a good idea to talk about it with her.

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Why do we put timelines to things? If it feels comfortable do it.

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He didn’t bring me to a cabin. At the time we lived in two different cities and we met halfway at a really nice boutique hotel. It was my (F) idea and he was down. We had a great time together and it solidified us wanting to spend more time together and put in the effort since we were long-distance (2.5-3 hours away).

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Bring up the idea in casual conversation before booking or inviting her anywhere for a getaway. How would you feel if I did “X”? Also, don’t presume she’d be available..

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I agree a lake-side cabin is too soon and I probably wouldn’t be down for that after 3 dates. I would suggest a nice boutique hotel for a one night stay.

Humor me. What’s a stretch?

It worked for Harry and Meghan!

As a F, I think this is way too soon. Maybe after you have been exclusive for a few months, but 4th date is way too soon.

Away for a weekend, yes. Cabin, I’d be hesitant. I traveled to NYC on a 4th date. Grabbed a room in time square, went for a Broadway show, had a great dinner. At the time we’d never even spent the night with each other or kissed. It was the best date!

You could also offer 2 alternatives, let her pick. One being a getaway and one being a fun but in-town date.

Her reaction to that dual offer will provide insight, even if she opts for the in-town option.

Hi! You can do it in a subtle way, not as if you are imposing something. But if you feel like she's cool with it then go for it.

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