Is it unrealistic to keep seeing someone hoping that they fall for you?

So I've been seeing a girl for 4 months now - I've had strong feelings for her for a while, but knew she needed some more time.

Yestersay, she said she likes me and has said that noone has treated her this well, but she is struggling to fall in love with me. She has been thrown by fancy dates and parties so we have agreed to spend more quality time together and see what happens. I'm worried I am being naive though...

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

If after 4 months of dating a man, who I like and treats me very well, I haven’t started falling for him… it’s never going to happen for me. No matter how hard I try. That’s just me. Of course everyone is different.

I’m not suggesting you stop seeing her completely. But perhaps you should consider pulling back a bit (even if just emotionally) and start actively keeping your options open.

I assume you’re not exclusive? Or at least haven’t had that talk yet?

likehelpful

Stop watering a plant every day which doesn’t wanna grow, slowly stop watering few days in between.
Harsh truth - She might be weighing on options and found a better one tho.

like

I wouldn’t be going all out with fancy dates etc . Instead don’t make yourself to available and see how things play out . I don’t think you want to be in a relationship where the other Person doesn’t feel the same way

like

It sounds like she’s interested in you, but is hesitant because you haven’t spent a good amount of time 1x1. So you’re on the right track in spending more quality time together. Ask her what she likes/doesn’t. Get familiar with her love language. If feelings don’t grow after a month of these adjustments, I would cut it off.

like

As an F, I have come to realize that it takes me a LONG time to fall in love….. as long as the relationship is going well and progressing, I think you should be fine

like

Over time, I have built so many layers of defense …. It really takes a long time and someone very genuine to pierce through them. However, once I do fall for someone, I am deeply in love and nothing can shake that …

like

So you've never hung out casually? Like Netflix and chilled?

like

Weirdly no - we've done drinks in the pub, and she's come round and I've cooked her supper, but never just Netflix and Chilled (or similar).

like

Have you been intimate ?

like

Without being crude, yes, since quite early on

like

And I understand your fear. But for now she’s been honest and told you what she needs. Sounds like she’s trying to me. Take her word for it and live in the present

like

Man if you don't leave that girl right away. If you can't break up u need to at least be dating other ppl and keeping your options open.

like

So not the exact same thing, but it took my now fiancé a long time to say I love you. He said he really liked me and was happy being with me, but wasn’t ready to say it when I was. At first I had doubts as to whether he would ever feel that way, if it was a waste of time, etc., but 5 years later things are still going strong! Some people just need more time

like

Seconding this OP, it took me many months to tell my now-husband that I loved him. Everyone is different in their timeline.

like

I was in this exact situation once. It's crazy, but by the end of 3 years together, she was ready to say I Do but I was the one who lost interest. 🤷🏿

Related Posts

Anyone in eyp restructuring willing to refer?

like

Ericsson vs Oracle. Both have same tech.Ericsson offering a better.which one to go for ?Ericsson Oracle

like

I haven’t used my credit cards in years. They may close the cards unless I make some transactions. Shall I continue to keep these cards?

like

Anyone know the best place to live in Austin, TX if you work at Tesla? I didn’t want a super far drive going into work so was hoping to find something 20 minutes or less.

like

Which firm has the best Industry 4.0 (Digital Mfg.) consulting / tech practice?

like

How do you invest your bonus? For context have ~40k in student loans (~4.8% rate), not interested in a house/apt purchase anytime soon, just want to save up for ~major life events~, have a little bit of money for fun and invest most of it. Any tips on percentages etc?

like
like

What level would you expect to command £100k base in strategy in a tier 2 (not KPMG - looking to move)?

like

Which one should I join?

IBM
PWC
EY
Optum
Global logic

like

Best desk chair for $100-$200? Not looking to spend more than that.

helpfullike

My dog lives with me in my apt with a 30 inch crate, he’ll be with my mother for a month. Her house is much bigger than my apt, is it bad to order a larger crate for there? Will he come back and be squished?

like

Anyone else find it weird for their male boss to WhatsApp you asking about how you are (prior to your due date and prior to giving birth)? He has my private WhatsApp because he insisted and I stupidly in hindsight obliged. Just wish I knew how to politely get out of this. I figured I'd email HR like they told me once I gave birth and at some point email him as a courtesy :/ i live in Germany so am already on mat leave hence why he doesn't know yet if I've given birth.

like

Hi Fishes,

Is S&P planning to open offices?

like

Do people not like Tumi because they are too expensive or too stereotypical?

I need 10 likes so I can DM! Let me know if you want a referral to Symetra and please like this post

like
like

I have cleared 1st round of technical interview in Mphasis and was told next round will be managerial round any idea what kind of questions can be expected

like

What’s the deal at Jones Day Houston? No one seems to last there…

like

2020 goals: passive income and a man 😭🤣

likefunnyupliftinghelpful

Do anyone know how much time delivery manger of Infosys takes to approve streched salary? HR Team sent for approval to Delivery, it's almost 3 week past but didn't received offer letter yet from Infosys. After sending mail to HR team they are saying it is pending from delivery manager for approval ??Infosys

like

Additional Posts in Staying Healthy

Anyone have a Peloton referral code I can use for bike accessories?

like

Does anyone have a promo code for Fitbod?

like

I keep getting shin splints - I’m active and a runner but it’s occurring more often.. anyone have any advice?

like

Womp - have Covid (vaxxed) and feel like I just have a slight cold. Anyone have similar experience - when could a test will come back negative?

like

Newbie question: I’m looking to lose the last ~15 lbs and put on some lean muscle. Female, new to weightlifting. I’m getting a lot of conflicting advice online. Currently Im planning to eat in a deficit (CICO), and do a fully body routine focused on compound movements 3x a week. I already do cardio 3/4x per week. Is this ideal? Should I be lifting more? Im seeing some people say lift 6x a week and some say you need recovery days

like

Can someone please recommend a good affordable upright exercise bike for daily use? That is also tall person friendly (I’m 6’3)

like

How do you find genuine new friends as an adult? I feel like the majority of close bonds are formed with people you grew up with.

like

Any recommendations for a good mattress topper? Particularly for back/back pain, keeping cool. Don’t want to get a new mattress since I’m in a pre-furnished apt but this one is too hard for my liking

like

Recently started an exercise routine (moderate intensity) after not having regularly worked out for ages, and I feel so tired and drained all day long. Please tell me this gets easier?

like

Thanks to the adds all over social media. Super curious if anyone is "actually" using/tried MUD WTR? 🤔 If yes, does it live up to the hype? TIA

like

New to the world of protein supplement - can I get some recommendations? Vegetarian and fairly active and starting to think I'm not getting enough protein most days. Would prefer a vegan source of protein but open to whey or some other dairy based one if it tastes super good.

like

Yoga with Adriene on YouTube has been a godsend for those days where I don't have time/energy to get a run in. Anyone else a fan of hers?

like

I’m trying to get my parents into adopting healthier eating habits but nothing is really sticking. Do you have any recommendations or like books I can give them to teach them what’s actually good to eat vs. falling for good marketing/ fads?

like

Anybody have experience w a ski erg. Thinking about getting one to compliment my rower

Has anyone figured out how to not feel absolutely horrendous when you wake up? I dread mornings because waking it so hard for me.

I prioritize getting 7-8 hours of sleep (this is the best I can do at the moment with work and a small baby) and I’ve stopped drinking because even 1 beer seems to make the morning 10x worse. Anything else I can try?

likehelpfulsmart

Been using headspace recently and trying to meditate. Find that some days my mind just totally wonders or I fall asleep. Trying to get to that picturesque image I see of people who just sit and zone out. Anyone’s else have difficulty or any tips for newbies to meditation?

like

I ate something from the food cart yesterday and had a stomach ache and sweating at night and then vomited. Later dia. Now still have some stomach ache. I have to travel tomorrow and can’t get an appointment for a gastroenterologist. Should I just go to a pcp or take any OTC?

like

Would like to go on a fat loss diet. Need to drop body fat , recos on full proof diets ?

Any good detox diets that good to try out and not horrroble for your body? I want to curb some sugar cravings and bad eating habits over the past year. Has anyone done one they liked? I was thinking of starting a 3 day detox then go into 7days of a white meat/fruit cleanse for a week. Then just stop eating like a complete child on holiday after those are done 😅 any advice on what helped you get past the cravings and level set would be helpful! I heard good things about keto but like options.

like

HIIT or long distance running to slim & tone?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal