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If after 4 months of dating a man, who I like and treats me very well, I haven’t started falling for him… it’s never going to happen for me. No matter how hard I try. That’s just me. Of course everyone is different.
I’m not suggesting you stop seeing her completely. But perhaps you should consider pulling back a bit (even if just emotionally) and start actively keeping your options open.
I assume you’re not exclusive? Or at least haven’t had that talk yet?
Stop watering a plant every day which doesn’t wanna grow, slowly stop watering few days in between.
Harsh truth - She might be weighing on options and found a better one tho.
I wouldn’t be going all out with fancy dates etc . Instead don’t make yourself to available and see how things play out . I don’t think you want to be in a relationship where the other Person doesn’t feel the same way
It sounds like she’s interested in you, but is hesitant because you haven’t spent a good amount of time 1x1. So you’re on the right track in spending more quality time together. Ask her what she likes/doesn’t. Get familiar with her love language. If feelings don’t grow after a month of these adjustments, I would cut it off.
Pro
As an F, I have come to realize that it takes me a LONG time to fall in love….. as long as the relationship is going well and progressing, I think you should be fine
Pro
Over time, I have built so many layers of defense …. It really takes a long time and someone very genuine to pierce through them. However, once I do fall for someone, I am deeply in love and nothing can shake that …
Chief
So you've never hung out casually? Like Netflix and chilled?
Weirdly no - we've done drinks in the pub, and she's come round and I've cooked her supper, but never just Netflix and Chilled (or similar).
Have you been intimate ?
Without being crude, yes, since quite early on
And I understand your fear. But for now she’s been honest and told you what she needs. Sounds like she’s trying to me. Take her word for it and live in the present
Man if you don't leave that girl right away. If you can't break up u need to at least be dating other ppl and keeping your options open.
So not the exact same thing, but it took my now fiancé a long time to say I love you. He said he really liked me and was happy being with me, but wasn’t ready to say it when I was. At first I had doubts as to whether he would ever feel that way, if it was a waste of time, etc., but 5 years later things are still going strong! Some people just need more time
Seconding this OP, it took me many months to tell my now-husband that I loved him. Everyone is different in their timeline.
I was in this exact situation once. It's crazy, but by the end of 3 years together, she was ready to say I Do but I was the one who lost interest. 🤷🏿