Is it weird if I don’t open gifts at my baby shower? We didn’t at our engagement party and my MIL wouldn’t leave us alone about it...I don’t want a repeat of that but I hate opening gifts in front of people...to me the point of the shower is to see everyone before baby is here since I’ll be a tad busy once he’s born

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Your MIL will probably do the same thing, but no, that's not weird. It's 100% your call. Just say thank you to everyone and then thank them individually later.

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I think it’s customary to open them at the shower, but I think it’s a weird custom and agree that it takes away from the point of the shower. You should do what makes you comfortable though!

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I think it depends who you’re inviting and also who’s hosting. If they’re all your friends and you’re hosting, do what you want. If you have family and your MIL’s friends who are coming and will be bringing gifts, or if your MIL is hosting, and it’s more traditional, then I think it would be thoughtful to defer to the host a bit. Ie. If people from other generations are coming and showering you with gifts, part of the fun for them is seeing what they and other people gave. In a way you’re inviting people to give you gifts, if you’re expecting them, then doing what they will enjoy is kinda part of the package. Alternatively, maybe don’t call it a shower and don’t register? But like I said. If you’re hosting and it’s your friends, be clear that you just wanted to see people before baby is born, that you’re not expecting gifts, etc. I think it’s more about managing expectations, lol.

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It would be quite odd to me since traditionally a baby shower is meant to “shower” the new mom with gifts, so opening them is kind of the whole point...there isn’t really the same expectation with an engagement party so I think your MIL should get off your back on that. If you really just want to see everyone before the baby arrives maybe just call it a pre-baby party or something that doesn’t directly imply gifts are expected?

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I recently got invited to a bridal shower that asked everyone to bring their gifts unwrapped, I think to avoid the whole sit there and watch the bride unwrap all of them thing. I think it’s a nice idea so the bride and the entire party doesn’t need to pretend to be surprised and impressed with all the gifts. They wanted more time to interact which unwrapping all the gifts would take up

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I LOVE this. I'm not typically one of those "green" people but gift wrap is just colorful/expensive trash. I hate buying it

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You could have an "unwrapped" shower where people bring the gifts unwrapped. I had one friend that did that. Their excuse was they wanted to spend more time with their guests than unwrapping gifts.

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My sister in law had everyone at the shower open one of the gifts (not the one they brought) and share a piece of advice. It was great bc everyone was involved, kept it interesting, and she didn’t have to have everyone stare at her for an hour.

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Ooh I’ve never seen that but that’s a great idea! Keeps the more traditional in the room off your back too.

I’ve been to baby showers where people don’t open gifts and some that do. Whatever you prefer (not your MIL’s decision). I like the PPs idea of thanking everyone for their gifts and then sending individual notes after.

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I’ve never been to a shower where people haven’t opened the gifts. Personal point of view, I think it’s kind of rude not to open the gifts because people want to see you open their gift since they took the time and made the effort to get you something. But to each their own and if you don’t feel comfortable then up to you!

Overall agree with everything @Deloitte1 said above!

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Ask everyone to wrap in clear wrap. It’s a lot to unwrap everything. You can do it that way. I’ve been to a few like this.

likefunny

Third this! Went to a shower where they did that and also had a dj. A little unorthodox but the party was super fun!

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My sister did a co-ed shower at a bowling ally/brewery and didn’t open gifts. I believe she indicated as such on the invite or said to not wrap them or something. She also doesn’t open gifts at her kids b-day parties now. I’ll probably mimic this as I agree that spending time with one another is the point of these events, it’s not about the presents. Congrats BTW!

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I felt the same way!! I opened gifts at my wedding shower, felt awkwardly rushed, and I wanted to spend more time with guests. Then came my baby shower and I talked it over with my mom and MIL beforehand and told them we decided we didn’t want to open gifts again. My mom was cool with it but my MIL and SIL said nothing. The day before I reminded them both I wasn’t going to open presents. That day, I had words with MIL and SIL because I was feeling forced to open presents. I ended up giving in and was upset that my wishes didn’t count.

The main reason why I didn’t want to open presents was due to the fact I felt rushed to get all the presents opened. I wanted to take in all the presents for our baby (and wedding). When I went through the presents again to write thank you cards, that’s when I had the time to truly appreciate the kindness of my friends and family (and I wrote in depth thank you cards expressing my gratitude). I don’t know a quick thank you to my guests opening presents in front of them felt rude because everything was “go go go” to the next . I know it’s customary, but if I had to do it again, I would let all my guests know the reason behind not opening up presents in front of them.

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Thanks for all of your input everyone! I’m so conflicted. To add an additional element, we did an amazon registry so we’ve had a lot of gifts show up to our house already so I don’t want people that did that to feel like they’re being judged not having gifts at the shower (even though I’ve already thanked them and know about the gifts)...if that makes any sense

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That is such a good idea, thank you!
I’ve only been to one other shower so I have very little to go off of

Yes, open them. Everyone is there to celebrate, just go through the motions of it

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I’ve seen invites that say “please be a dear and wrap in clear” - so people can take a look at all the cute things you got without having to spend the time opening in front of everyone.

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