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This is literally the plot of the movie “I love you, man.” Highly recommend you watch it a couple of times
Went through a similar phase, OP, and yes, it is unhealthy AF. Don't beat yourself up however, you can be cured. Couple of thoughts:
1. Friendships take time, a lot of time, and are best developed through shared hardship. This is why starving college roommates, military veterans, and people that go on trips where everything goes wildly wrong develop lasting friendships. Go find some challenges to share.
2. Women are awesome, and they are not your friend, they are your comfort zone. And they'll drop your ass without batting an eyelash in the female equivalent of "bros before heaux's" should loyalty come in to play. (The wife won't, but that's because she's not your friend, she's your lover, and you own her heart - nice work btw)
3. To your point about "no one to discuss life" - this absolutely needs to be your guy friends. This is why you must go do miserable shit with guys to bond in a chest beating, man way. And as you dump all your shit on them, they in turn dump theirs on you, and you get back to your center and have fun with your girl "friends", and boldly and confidently lead the relationship with the wife. Don't bring drama into your relationship.
I recommend as you start to find ways to interact with guys, that you focus on you, and becoming the friend you want to have. Like attracts like in all relationships.
Don't sweat it dude, it will come together! 👍🏼
Am I the only one who finds this thread and the serious advice given bizarre? Who cares what gender your friends are?
Try not to call your potential friends amigos
Ok, as a woman, your female friends aren't just going to dump your ass. That is a pretty arbitrary and weird statement. But also, having been in the same situation as you, I can say having friends of the same gender is nice and you should get some irrespective of what people think/whether it is weirdly visible
What K2 wrote was one of the weirdest things I have ever read. Female friends aren't "really" friends? What is that about? You need to go suffer with some guys? That's the dumbest. As a military veteran who has gone to combat -- the guys I deployed with are my brothers in arms, and that comradeship is something I treasure, and if one of them called me today and said they needed my help I would be there, but we don't hang out. We are different people with different lives. Intense experiences forge strong bonds but don't necessarily make lifelong friends.
^yes, let's all beer a grab fews!
K2- that was the best set of words ever I've read here. Wish I had you as a friend
@KPMG I'm in Houston. Let's beer a grab fews
K2's advice is the biggest pile of bullshit I've ever read on this app... unless that was meant to be satire.
Cherish your friendships. Cherish the people you've grown with, who have supported you and made you who you are today. This is basic common sense.
What kind of asshole drops the people they love for the sake of meeting some arbitrary gender quota?
I constantly feel every guy has their "best friend" already, so why even bother. I have acquaintances from work, squash and the gym, but no one id call to discuss life 🤦🏼♂️
K1- is that quote from the said movie? 😤
1) ey2 there is no BCG2, I'm the only BCGer to post in this thread so far, but assume you are talking to me
2) no contradiction at all. I wouldn't call one of those guys for help with home repairs. That would be a frivolous use of a very deep bond. If one of them called me and said "hey man I need help" and it turned out to be that replacing a toilet is a two man job or some shit I'd be pretty annoyed. But if one of them called and said "hey man I need help, I've been having a rough time lately and I'm worried I might do something" I would drop everything and be on the next flight.
3) The idea that you need guy friends around to help you lift shit is totally ridiculous.
4) the idea that female friends can't be a support system is equally ridiculous. When my dad died the people I relied on were my wife and a female friend who had lost a parent in a similar way.
(PS: in the not quite decade since we came back, my company has now lost more guys to suicide than we lost to the enemy... it's a real problem)
Nah dude, friendships change over a lifetime. Get out there and find a friend.
😂🤦🏼♂️
A lot of women here aren’t gonna understand why you need guy friends. But you do. K2’s advice was solid. I’ve also made a lot of friends through kickball and volunteering. Just listen to people’s problems and offer to buy beer.
No guy should date a woman with only male friends and so it's probably weird that you have only female friends
OP do not listen to the SJWs who are trying to make you feel bad about feeling weird for not having more guy friends!! (I do too and this is not an uncommon feeling FYI). If you want more guy friends - follow K2s advice (I agree with it). If you decide you don't want more guy friends - then ignore it!
Why does even an innocent, introspective FB post need to turn into a debate?!
Rooting for you OP!
Female here and I had the opposite problem a few years ago. Made too many guy friends in grad school and less female ones. Took the time to cultivate female friendships, started with group happy hours, then I made plans and bonded over a long period of time to make female friends. I suspect you need to do the same.
Hi there -- different opinion here... you don't NEED guy friends. Esp of you have male acquaintances and don't have a fear of other men or something like that. You connect with whoever you connect with. Sports leagues / squash could be a good place to start but don't worry that there's anything wrong with you.