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Unfortunately it is. I'm in the process of a starting a business with a few partners, and while I'm overseeing every element of the launch, my primary role will be in marketing once it's up and running. I briefly mentioned these plans today to a male peer today and he proceeded to tell me I should have asked sooner for his help as he knows all about marketing. At no point did I ask for his help or opinion. The second sentence of this post was more or less the same thing I said to him when it was raised.
I have more relevant experience and have been in more senior roles than he has. My business is in fashion, to which he replied he had sold security systems so he knew how to sell product.
I've mentioned this business to female colleagues (including one who sourced costumes for video and photo shoots, so she did know a thing or two about fashion) and they were all supportive and encouraging. None presumed I needed assistance or required their input.
I understand that juniors of both genders get things they may already know 'explained' to them by more senior staff, but it's an unfortunate reality that some men will presume to know more than you or think their opinion holds more weight simply because you're a woman.
@strategist 1 I think it's more about any man explaining something without anybody asking like CD 1's example. I know that's a little vague but if a woman is talking about a subject and a man jumps in to explain what it means but no one asked, it doesn't matter their title.
How dare you.
@CD 1: Ma'amsplained is fire. Nice.
It really is. I've had vendor reps as well as junior male coworkers poorly explain something to me... that I taught them. I believe the worst instance of this was when a gentleman prefaced his mansplaining with "now don't feel bad if you don't understand this... even I was a little confused by all this technology at first" 😳
Yes it is. Dudes get it from watching too much ESPN
If it's from a senior to a junior, no probably not. The term is more about junior or less experienced men explaining something to a more senior/experienced woman.
Disregard one of the today's in the third sentence above, we really need an edit button.
This sounds hilarious. Did you tell him what you told us?
Although once at the dog park I told 3 women my dog had diarrhea and they ma'amsplained to me how to make rice and how much to feed her. I'm 40.
It's a thing.
big ole yip.
CD1, I did. I told him there's a fairly different customer profile between security system purchaser and niche womenswear buyer (our focus is on plus-size womens fashion appropriate for corporate wear), but he was quite confident he could still assist as he is apparently familiar with the struggles of buying the right clothes.
My current role is a bit of a side-step from my previous positions - the title isn't as good, but I've recently had a baby and this role offers flexibility, the time to work on my business, and the opportunity to work remotely, all of which are more desirable to me than having 'senior' or 'head' on my business card in my current situation. With this in mind, I gave him the benefit of the doubt regarding some of my other roles (on more than one occasion in the past there we've spoken about my prior experience leading a national marketing team, but it's possibly he may have forgotten this information so I won't rush to make a judgement), but even so, my current position is far more aligned with the digital marketing requirements that this new business would need than his role is.
I let him know that we've already got a pretty clear vision going ahead, and I was confident I could handle it given I've managed similar roles before.
The art of the true mansplainer lies in being condescending though, so this was met with a look of surprise that I didn't seem to want his help and a 'cheeky' little wink and assurance he wouldn't charge for any advice, as though that was the issue. I just changed the subject after that.
Agreed with Analyst 1. Any gender can also def be a 'splainer when done with condescension and without being asked. Btw, 'splainin somehow reminds me of dicks who talk LOUDER to foreigners to make them "understand" English better
Sure - I just meant the example given by OP doesn't sound like the issue
Agree Analyst 1 as well.