Is my bar too high in this day and age if I want guys to at least ask me out in person instead of reaching out on social media having never met me in person before? I just like when you have the guts to approach me in person instead of hiding behind a keyboard, or start with wanting to get to know me and not coming on too strong if we've never met.

I empathize that it's more comfortable for us to hide behind our keyboards, but I also like a guy with guts and conviction.

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Why can’t you ask guys out in person instead of waiting for them to ask you out?

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THIS.

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-If they never met you in person, how, if at all, would you expect them to ask you out in person?

-Being asked out in person is nice, but this isn't a high standard situation, by holding social media outreach against people you're basically just unnecessarily limiting the number of people who you want to approach you. Your loss.

Coming on too strong can happen in person too, so that's a wash, but it is much harder to send lewd material irl.

-Given your preference for in person versus social media, would you prefer if someone stalked you online and approached you in person to get to know you better? I wouldn't!

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On the flip side, it’s so much easier to block someone than reject them face to face.

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Seems like an odd one of the list of requirements to want your initial contact to be in person. Initial connection happens in many different ways, and I would guess 85% of initial contacts is somehow virtual whether it be social media or a dating app. It is the norm and standard in todays society, as we have built a culture were contact is initiated online and we have slowly eliminated the ability for people to have a first contact in person. Couple that with the anxiety and fear of rejection that the gay community has shown to be real, it is difficult to start of and initiate in person. On apps, someone can say hi to initiate and most guys just never respond. Could you imagine standing next to someone at a bar and they come up and say hello and instead of saying I’m not interested you just stand there and pay them no attention even though they are looking you in the face and saying hi and trying to meet you? The culture is if you aren’t hot enough or don’t meet my standards you are not even worthy of decent human interaction or a simple no thank you, so no one has the confidence to do it in person because of that fear

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What does having guts and conviction look like in your life?

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You should be happy that they asked you out at all.

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Generally if you are looking for a relationship it’s best not to limit sources of potential interaction. Digital outreach is a reality of todays life and I think it’s very limiting to expect every potential partner to eschew that as a tool for out reach. While it’s great to have a cute “they asked me out” story it’s even better to have a happy relationship regardless of how it started 😁

It’s not too high of a bar… it’s just an outdated selection mechanism. There’s also a lot you can quickly learn about someone online that would take a while in person and be counterproductive

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