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Awww, thanks so much!
He strikes again. Still super proud of himself.
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Rising Star
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I used to be. Then I realized their parents raised them....wash, rinse, repeat
I was angry for years. Now I’m more resigned and disappointed. I have two great kids and I’ve figured out how to use that mental energy to provide them the childhoods my spouse and I would have wanted. (His family is pretty flawed as well.) Regardless, it’s absolutely your right to have resentment, but like they say - the best revenge is living well.
Thanks ... the holidays aren’t the easiest time of year to hold on to that!
I’m happy with who I am and where I am in life, so I try to appreciate all aspects of my childhood - even the not so great parts. Had I grown up in a different setting or with different family dynamics, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
That said, I have some learned behaviors that I’m always monitoring and working on - like being conflict avoidant, seeking praise and approval from others, always feeling like I’m not good enough / imposter syndrome. Luckily I didn’t repeat the cycle in terms of abuse but I still carry the emotional baggage.
Pro
It can be frustrating but I find that I have more peace leaving the past in the past. Personally I find anger to be an emotion that doesn’t bring any good to my life and I prefer to work on understanding the situations and what caused them to be. I think it’s the circle of life to be angry at the way you were raised and in the future your children will probably be angry at the way you raised them at some point or another.
My mom is an alcoholic with a huge temper who was very difficult to live with. She ended up kicking me out and I had to live with friends for a little while. After taking that step back I realized her household growing up was way more abusive and that she made a lot of sacrifices to raise my sister and I in the best way possible, despite her shortcomings. By doing this I can release the anger, and practice empathy and selflessness.
None of this is condoning the behavior or saying it’s okay or that it didn’t impact me. I have things I need to work on as a result of it all. This just helps me find a place of peace and understanding and allows me to move on in a sense. Best of luck!
Alcoholic father and depressed mother. Been going to therapy for a long time. I am at peace with it now for the most part.
Rising Star
I used to sometimes, but as I get older my relationship with my parents is better than ever. I see now how much sacrifices they’ve made for me and how much I’ve taken for granted. They weren’t perfect, but they’ve tried their best. They were parents for the first time too, and they’re only human.
Yep and in therapy working on it
Rising Star
Yeah I get angry sometimes. I have let go of some of it, but sometimes something happens that is a direct correlation to my f'ed up upbringing and I will get angry. I just don't let it control my life in a negative way anymore. For the most part I use it as incentive to be better than they ever thought I could be
Chief
Yes