{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "It really bothers me that I'll never have the confidence men do, and I think this will impact my career. Things like self-promotion to the right people, being highly confident in my abilities (rather than focusing on risks and mitigations), and just naturally walking into every room like I belong. I know these are not only qualities of men and I can develop them too. I'm just frustrated & venting because it feels like I'm trying so hard just to achieve the same goals. Anyone relate? Any wisdom?", "post_id": "5f02570f7388a6001a109162", "reply_count": 9, "vote_count": 11, "bowl_id": "59e88be7e2808e00149b0443", "bowl_name": "Women In Consulting" }

It really bothers me that I'll never have the confidence men do, and I think this will impact my career. Things like self-promotion to the right people, being highly confident in my abilities (rather than focusing on risks and mitigations), and just naturally walking into every room like I belong. I know these are not only qualities of men and I can develop them too. I'm just frustrated & venting because it feels like I'm trying so hard just to achieve the same goals. Anyone relate? Any wisdom?

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Your first (and probably most destructive) problem is your deep-seated belief that you’ll “never have the confidence men do” 🤷‍♀️

likesmarthelpful

Amen. I hate sounding bitter but I really have noticed the male tendency to oversell and the female tendency to undersell skills and talent. Perhaps it bothers me so much because I am part of the problem. I definitely undersell my skills compared to my male colleges.

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So true!

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Build your confidence - find an ally to help support you and talk you up. I feel you - and I’ve taken a long time to build my confidence. But I figured it out (tho I’ll admit sometimes when I gain weight it makes me less confident which is dumb bc it doesn’t impact my brain!)

likehelpful

None of this is set in stone. Make a list of career accomplishments and read them daily. Make a list of accomplishments on your current project and speak to them when getting staffed on your next. Build yourself up. That way when others underestimate or tear you down, you know your own value above all else. Confidence can be learned like anything else.

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Fake it till you make it it works

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I often find myself feeling the exact same way! Some days I feel confident and aware of my value and contributions. I try to hold on to those moments.

Recommend reading the book “The Confidence Code”

What I find most harmful is other women’s reaction to a confident woman.

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