{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "It seems that a lot of women in accounting struggle with finding a relationship in the middle of their career. I’m finding myself to be in the same boat, and am thinking about seeing a therapist to learn to be okay to be alone. I don’t want to use dating apps as it feels forced, and I know I am craving a man to fill up my time and that’s not the way to go. Covid is not helping. Relatable?", "post_id": "5f11464a527e120021813dd6", "reply_count": 17, "vote_count": 21, "bowl_id": "58f7fc5fae9f610010f862d9", "bowl_name": "Women in Accounting" }

It seems that a lot of women in accounting struggle with finding a relationship in the middle of their career. I’m finding myself to be in the same boat, and am thinking about seeing a therapist to learn to be okay to be alone. I don’t want to use dating apps as it feels forced, and I know I am craving a man to fill up my time and that’s not the way to go. Covid is not helping. Relatable?

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Definitely. I'm also hesitant on the idea of apps. Ive been trying to read more, learn more and just workout to avoid down time. Not sure if it's healthy either.

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Dating is a numbers game. The more people you meet, the better chance you have to meet the right person. Apps aren’t the only way to meet someone of course. But they certainly increase your chances. I went on A LOT of dates. It was exhausting until I finally found the right guy. We’ve been married 11 years. Men won’t knock on your door—you have to make an effort and put yourself out there.

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Honestly if you're using the apps right it doesn't feel forced. If you're hunting out a husband and only a husband sure, but using them to meet people, not just guys you want to date, is super common. I've met friends and partners through apps. Also wouldn't know how else to meet potential partners / friends these days without them.

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Same sex friends to have just friendships with. A lot of my old (but still current) friends were settling down and having babies and moving out of our city and I'm not having kids so was pretty freaked out about it all. I just joined Meetup groups and Facebook groups that fit my likes. Wine, food, rock climbing and live music. Those online friends became IRL friends. My social calendar was pretty busy until corona. Not everyone I met was a match, just like with dating. But I've got a pretty solid friendship circle now

I think you could pause dating for a year because nothing is organic right now. Seeing a therapist could help in general, but I met my now husband online. I did have to kiss a lot of frogs though, it takes a lot of effort to keep putting yourself out there!

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Ok so I met my now husband on the app. We started chatting during a busy season, which didn’t allow for much time. But he was patient. We had couple of dates on the weekends when I had more time, and after that he started picking me up from work and driving home late at night, we walked my dog and that was the end of a date. I think it was great because it showed him my life early on so when next busy season came by he knew what to expect. We’re happily married, soon to celebrate 4th anniversary.

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It’s going to get worse as u age. Look my thinking is, if you are not actually busy with school or something you should date, even if you don’t marry, you have a memory to look back too. Dating apps do work to meet people. Coffe meets bagel is pretty good and other sites where you pay usually bring serious people. You can also join meetups to meet people.

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TL;DR — therapy is amazing and dating apps are helpful introductions to friendships and romantic relationships. I’ve been in therapy consistently for the last year and a half (best decision I ever made). I was committed to finding myself and becoming the best version of me with the hopes of sharing this best version with someone. I spent the first 6 months of therapy truly focusing on myself and not dating anyone (after getting out of a very toxic situation). I moved to NY and got on Hinge for fun to meet guys and Bumble to make some girlfriends. I’ve made great girl friendships and met my now boyfriend who is also the man of my dreams and we’re talking about future plans of marriage and the whole shabang. This is all to say that I truly believe that therapy helped me become the woman I am today. Without therapy, I truly don’t think I would’ve been able to keep my boyfriend around for long considering my toxic mindset I had.

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Omg I totally agree!!! I went without dating for like 8 months just to work on myself and be happy with where I was in life and then I got back out there and now in a super amazing and committed relationship!

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Ya I don’t get the knock down on dating apps. I met my ex on a dating website, and my current serious boyfriend on Hinge, which I found to be a lot better than bumble or tindr. I consider myself to be your average looking and outgoing person and I chose to get on an app bc I really wanted to meet someone out of my immediate social group at a faster rate especially cause I was working so much. LOL And honestly once you hit late 20s early 30s (just commenting on my experience) finding someone “organically” is a lot harder and only really happens when you’re putting yourself in a lot of social situations at the bar/party or wherever... which is fine I guess, but I don’t like going to events every weekend when I’m working a lot.

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Don’t use any free dating apps if you are looking for something serious. Always pay and only chat with people who pay for the memberships as well. Can’t imagining anyone serious isn’t willing to pay 30 bucks a month to seek for real relationships.

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I haven’t had luck on dating apps but others have. Regardless of that, if you aren’t happy with yourself without a partner then you’re not going to be happy with a partner (or rather the partner is a bandaid). It’s tough but figure out what you enjoy as an individual alone to get there. For me that meant focusing more on my career, my relationships with friends and family, my hobbies, and my values.

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