I’ve already had cervical cancer (last year) and have been cancer free. Now have a hormone replacement specialist I have to see annually. Yesterday was the visit and she randomly decided to do a breast exam and found a lump. Couldn’t get me in for a diagnostic mammogram until next week. Came home and relapsed - it was not a full-on bender but I drank. How do I not beat myself up and just get up and keep going? Alcohol is the WORST thing for any cancer esp breast cancer. WTF is wrong with me!?

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at

Have you tried Jesus? Read the book of John in the Bible. God bless you.

likehelpful

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Give yourself some grace. It’s easy to relapse under extreme stress. Try to avoid the shame spiral. Beating yourself up makes it easier for a small slip to become a full blown relapse. You deserve compassion. Try to give yourself that. Not sure if you do meetings, but maybe jump on a virtual one? Reach out to a sponsor or a friend in recovery? Sending you love.

likehelpful

Lots of gentle and kind thoughts heading your way. That sounds really tough. And no other human can know what you're going through. All of what you're feeling is valid.

All any one of us can do is start where we are. And be gentle on ourselves even as we seek to grow.

I know now that I can't overcome my addiction by myself. I learned by reading the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and going to AA meetings that I don't suck, I'm sick...bodily, mentally and spiritually with the disease of alcoholism.

It's something that needs to be self diagnosed or the treatment can't relieve the symptoms or cause. And, to me, that's what surrendering the fight and truly taking Step 1 means.

The Big Book does a wonderfully thorough job of guiding readers through the self tests in the chapters There Is a Solution and More About Alcoholism. Once I'm convinced that I qualify as alcoholic, and am ready to take Step 1, the Solution is found in doing -- and living in -- the 12 Steps.

If you can stop on your own, as the Big Book says, "our hats are off to you."

I couldn't. I can't. And I never will be able to. This I know.

But I also haven't had to take a drink in almost 5 years -- thanks to doing, and living in, the 12 Steps and relying on my Higher Power.

In that time, I've gone through -- just to name a few -- a separation and divorce (while my now-ex had a brain tumor diagnosed and removed) the serious week+ hospitalization of one of my sons, the death of my Sponsor, an EF1 tornado that wrecked my home, the rebuilding of that property, and extended unemployment...among other things.

Before AA, it didn't even take someone flipping me off in traffic to justify a drink. Because I have a disease. And I can't cure it.

Now I know this: My disease is not my fault, but my recovery is 100% my responsibility. My Higher Power is now in control. I do the possible. He does the impossible.

I'm sending you lots of healing vibes and compassion. And I know that, for me and countless others, there is a solution -- and that is the program of A.A. Best of luck to you!

like

Number one remember you are precious to God! Get around people and ideas that harbor sobriety. I would recommend the book of John also. Read a chapter of the book of proverbs each day there are 31 chapters so you can get through it each month. Ask God to help you with the feelings of resentment, guilt , fears and discontentment. These and others might keep you in the cycle of drinking. His promises for every struggle there is a way to escape it, first Corinthians 10:13. I hope this helps! Praying for you ! We have all been there. Don’t beat yourself up! God doesn’t want that! God calls you by your name, the devil by your sin.

like

Are you in 12-step recovery or any type of group based recovery? Life is hard, if not impossible, to be done on one’s own. I’m so sorry that you’re going through all of this.

Whenever I say the serenity prayer (which is often), the first phrase, which says, “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”, reminds me that literally everything that has ever happened prior to this exact moment is in the past and cannot be changed. My Higher Power gives me the serenity to accept that, and I have to take the action to let it go.

For me, that action is almost always to go to an AA meeting or to call someone in recovery.

❤️

like

Nothing is wrong with you. However, it's important to remember that you cannot control everything, the only thing you can control is how you respond.

If you are overcome with thoughts about your mortality, remember that it's the single unifying thing that bonds us all together. Everyone's time comes. And some people's time comes sooner than others. I encourage you to focus on how you respond, and being healthy in your response. While whatever happens is not fully in your control, people in the bowl will be wishing you well.

like

Don’t let a moment’s weakness define who you are. You were processing a hit in life at the time. What defines you is your desire to overcome this, and what you are working towards everyday. You are not defined by the moment’s weakness, but instead by what you aim to be. That is who you are. Today is a new day and a fresh start. The past is the past, and the present is now. Don’t let the past haunt you!

like

That is a shit ton of stress and fear and anger (I’m assuming on that last one). Give yourself grace. People have relapsed for much less. Look at it for what it was and make a choice to move forward. Lean on your support systems whether it’s a sponsor or AA or god. But really only you can do it. You’ve got this.

Related Posts

Men - what brand of jeans are best/do you recommend for casual dress code at work with a button down?

likesmart

What’s the wlb like at VCA?

like

Been having major pain in my wrist from using a mouse and typing on the keyboard. I have what is supposed to be an ergonomic mouse and wrist rest but they aren’t really working.

Any suggestions from my fellow number crunchers on good ergonomic mouses, keyboards, things to save my wrist lol?

like

Hi fishies , I have total of 3.5 yrs data engineering experience and total It experience is 7 years.
I have offer from quantiphi,tiger analytics and impetus Technology.
Wanted to know if anyone can help me out which company should I choose?
Which firm is better for career growth ,learning and work life balance ?

like

If there is anything science taught you it is-

likesmart

Please share your YOE & CCTC without variables ;

like

Does anyone know how is Oracle NetSuite as a company overall?

like

Hey! I am getting my MHA degree this spring and am wondering about opportunities beyond just consulting or working as an administrator in a health system, not opposed to developmental programs as well

Will I get 14 days leave in tredence for marriage

Is it ok to register as a direct sale consultant while on H1b? Like scheme pyramid type of sale (Avon,etc), while registering, they are asking for ssn. Really just want the product vs selling and making money on it. Thoughts? Couldn’t find anything on google.

like

https://www.rutgers.edu/news/new-rutgers-saliva-test-coronavirus-gets-fda-approval

Rutgers saliva test for coronavirus got approved by FDA

Does anyone have any advice or insight into studying for the Sustainability Excellence Associate (SEA) certification exam? I can’t really find too much information on the test.

What accounts does FCB Chicago still work on?

like

Has anyone worked directly with the Organizational Consulting Department at Saudi Aramco? Have an opportunity to join the team and would love to learn about their people, culture and comp. TIA :)

likehelpful

So confused by the service charge at restaurants. Went to two restaurants recently and both added a 20% service charge to my bill, but one said it counts as gratuity and the other one said it doesn’t

like

Surveying the crowd: do you all prefer receiving cash gifts or physical gifts from your registry?

We're recently married and got a mix of both, and I can't decide what I want to do for friends' weddings going forward. On the one hand, the cash gifts were incredible and financed our honeymoon. But I also enjoy looking at things around the house and remembering who gave them. I'm curious what everyone thinks!

like

Has any woman had to take progesterone suppositories? If so, can I dm you some questions?

like

Hi All, can anyone recommend somewhere I can donate clothes that will actually reach people in need rather than just sending to Goodwill so it’s stacked on a shelf? I have a ton of clothes in good condition I’m getting rid of. Thanks!

like

Best restaurants in New Orleans to take my SO for bday dinner? Doesn’t have to be creole/Cajun food

Skill: automation test engineer (selenium java)
Yoe:3.2 with 6.8 fixed
Offered :tcs with 9.8 (12 percent variable)
Should I go for more?
What would be my in hand ?

like

Additional Posts in Addiction & Sobriety

Acceptance is the answer.

Post Photo
like

Got excited when I matched with this man! Unfortunately it’s not gonna work out between us. Don’t be discouraged single fish, sober partners are out there.

Post Photo
like

Went for a pre-employment drug test yesterday. They never asked me if I was on any medications. I had to ask them and was told "oh yeah, just put any you may think make a difference in this text box." I put Xanax, Flexeril, and gabapentin. All of which are prescribed and used as directed. Now I'm terrified that I should have put ALL my meds, to including my psych meds. I've been sober over 12 years and never touched drugs (just booze) but I'm having a full blown panic attack.

like

Doing some step work this morning - what’s everyone’s favorite step? For me, step three has such power and grace within it.

like

I’m now 1 month sober after spending 2 weeks in rehab. Before that I was drinking every day, work was suffering - family life was suffering. I am going through a divorce right now which hasn’t helped. However I’m pleased to say I have lost weight, I’ve gained muscle mass through an intensive weight training program and I feel better and happier than ever before. It IS possible to beat this !!

like

Celebrating 30 days of sobriety today! Best I’ve felt in 10 years. Thank you friends for the encouragement and wise words I’ve received from you all this last month.

likeuplifting

Stay strong fam

Post Photo
likeuplifting

By chance anyone needs it this Sunday. Don’t punish yourself for the things done whilst drunk. Chemically you are not the same person, your whole brain is altered, who could expect for it to make the same decisions. And Alan Carr is the book I always go back to - remember every time it gets easier because you know what to do and you learn!

like

Reached 6 months yesterday after finally realizing that if I allowed it to, alcohol could and would destroy my life and take away everything that I love. I was so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to have peace and comfort without it (insanity, right?). The past 6 months have been the happiest I have ever experienced. My everyday moments with my children are more meaningful, I lay next to my wife knowing she is proud of me and I wake up the next morning without shame. Gratitude!

likeuplifting

Social media drives addictions for me. I got off a lot of channels and I thought about gambling a lot less.

likeuplifting

I’ve been sober a year now, and someone recently reached out to me about not drinking. When I suggested AA, he said ‘washed out people with nothing to lose’ wouldn’t comfort him. And that it was a ‘scared straight’ approach. I know his is a super harsh and ignorant opinion, but I just want to say if you hold it, it’s so far from the truth. Regardless of age, I’ve met some of the coolest unique people I’ve ever come across in aa, and I just felt sad people might hold that opinion of it in 2021

like

My husband is an alcoholic and it’s getting worse with the holidays. He’s started every day drinking high alcohol-content IPAs as early as 8am. And he drinks them all day and all night like soda. He did AA when he was younger but is now vehemently against it. He is high-functioning. Has a PhD from MIT and works for a venture capitalist firm. I wondered how he gets through the day, but he started to come home early (mid-afternoon) and immediately open a beer while working. What should I do?

like

Sober Sunday check in. How’s everyone doing?

like

I think I reached my low. I was at a family gathering and was having fun but started taking shots. Needed help into the cab. Vomited at the venue. I don’t want to get like that again. Do I need to go completely cold turkey? Set a limit?

like

I will not drink…I will not drink…I will not drink…

likeuplifting

Here we go! Traveling on vacation for the next week and didn’t bring my Adderall (which I’ve been abusing for the past year). Hoping to wean myself off of it during the vacation. Wish me luck

like

Unbeknownst to my friends or family, I just stopped by Pinkberry on my way to pick up dinner and ate a small chocolate hazelnut with candied pecans under an awning in the rain in the most harried and shameful way. Much like I used to slam two IPAs while waiting for a take out order. 😂

likefunnyuplifting

Struggling with this, I have no sober community as I’m in a suburb with average AA access and haven’t connected with anyone at meetings. Zoom meetings are good but you don’t build 1:1 connections.

like

Should have 8 months today but I let it get the best of me on Friday. I picked up a new white chip today. I know exactly where my missteps were. How to get over the guilt of starting over?

likehelpful

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the
Fishbowl app

See what’s happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.

A phone with Fishbowl app

Send download link to your phone

OR

Scan your QR code to download
Fishbowl app on your mobile

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Messaging rates may apply

Download app

Sign up for free to view this conversation on Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use and Privacy Policy

Already have an account? Log in

Sign up for free to continue using Fishbowl

By continuing you agree to Terms of Use(New) and Privacy Policy(New)
Messaging rates may apply

Already have an account? Log in

For account settings, visit Fishbowl on Desktop Browser or

General

Legal