I've always had trouble with things like attention, focusing, and feeling constantly overwhelmed. I started to feel hopeless, feeling burnt out (even worse than my old job). I spend hours diverted when I know I should get work done. I decided to get an evaluation after learning a lot more about ADHD. I was diagnosed as Primarily Inattentive and they are starting me on meds immediately. Will things get better from here? Will, I finally become a productive human being? Should I tell my manager?

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Yes. Medication will substantially improve your life. It is like night and day. This will in turn improve your sense of self worth as you will realize there is nothing wrong with you and you are in fact good enough and a capable person.

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Thank you so much...literally crying out of relief. I've struggled with so many things--being called lazy, or a crybaby, or spineless for my behaviors. "Airheaded" for missing details in conversations or missing exits on the highway. I was just "lazy/depressed" for wasting time by procrastinating. No one really believes me or understands when I explain things are just so overwhelming and I need time to myself to recharge. And because I had good grades and was an overachiever in college people would brush off my struggles because it was a "hard school". Everything just makes so much sense.

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Medication can help. I notice a difference in my desire to do tasks. Remember it’s not that you can’t focus with adhd it’s that you cannot always direct your focus. Medication plus systems that help you work will bring some great synergies. I have also found I can take a while to warm up to work if there isn’t a deadline so I book an hour every day to just do that unless their is a client call.

Your not lazy or dumb or anything, but people will think you are because they have a mindset that people with adhd are those things. You are on a long journey and congrats on taking the first step.

likehelpful

Yeah I think mindfulness can help, but also just sitting and doing nothing is super helpful. A lot of times we rarely just sit and think. I know journaling and writing things down has been exceedingly helpful

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I wouldn't take telling your manager or anyone else at work that you are in the process of trying different medications lightly.

There are a lot of people out there that aren't understanding or knowledgeable.

Hopefully your doctor will slowly transition you on to your new med and it won't be super noticeable for others.

Good luck though, there are lots of medication options. If the first one doesn't work well don't give up. It takes a lot of patience.

helpfulsmart

Well it sounds like you're aware of what you want to improve, that's at least half the battle right there.
I am pretty hard on myself too, I think it's a common characteristic of ADD. I do think being self critical has gotten me to a good place in life overall, so I don't think of my brain as flawed any more. Just different.

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It’s going to get better with medication and also with learning more about it. You should read about strategies for people with ADHD. They were really helpful for me in developing away to live with it. A couple things you should know: you are NOT lazy. I could cry reading your post because it brings up the awful self worth issues I had my whole life related to this. I’m on the other side where I embrace this now and I know without a doubt I am not lazy. And those type A people who don’t have ADHD who you are comparing yourself to are not better than you. I truly believe ADHD is actually super power, you just need to learn how to love/accept yourself and then learn how to harness it. Lots of resources on the internet about this. Good luck - you got this.

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