{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I’ve been on the fence about kids but leaning towards no. I’m likely going to lose my partner who I love very much. I’m devastated.", "post_id": "60c68a57d8a3d9002007d2f8", "reply_count": 8, "vote_count": 9, "bowl_id": "5f20b8519110d60021d539ab", "bowl_name": "Childfree Lifestyle" }

I’ve been on the fence about kids but leaning towards no. I’m likely going to lose my partner who I love very much. I’m devastated.

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Goodluck. Hoping you find the light at the end of the tunnel. You have to do what’s best for you, and eventually the right pieces will fall into place.

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Being upset about that loss now though will be better than the potential alternative - a lifetime worth of resentment from either you for having them without wanting them to please your partner or from your partner because you chose not to when they wanted them.

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It's hard right now, but you'll be happier long term breaking up if you don't align on wanting/not wanting kids.

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I'm sorry :( But it is the right thing to do for the both of you, and you'll be happier for it at the end.

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I literally just went through this, like yesterday. We had a serious conversation and we decided that we want different things.

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We did. But it was completely mutual.

I have been struggling with this as well. I was hard on the side of No, and my partner was wavering and couldn't decide. I started thinking long and hard on what if they decide they want to have kids. I I am now starting to think that being with him is more important to me, and that I could have a happy life with him with or without kids. However, this is a huge thing that you have to be Comfortable with the decision you make. There is too much room for regret and being bitter if somebody wants kids and doesn't get them because of their parter, or vise versa. In many cases though, people's minds do not change and it is better to be upfront and make the decision now better than later and have more time to give, move on, and find somebody that will fit into your desired lifestyle. Just starting the conversation with your partner and understanding why can be helpful. I was upfront and said even if we do have kids, it would be adopting and preferably a few years old at least. And then it is up to the other person to decide if that is an option or not. Sometimes there is no compromise between kids or no kids, but sometimes there is something. Maybe they fear being alone and then you can instead make a pact to be super involved in thrle community instead. Either way, start the conversation now

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