I’ve been super supportive of the lgbt community most of my life, but something about the whole Elliot Page thing rubbed me the wrong way and sent me down a bit of a rabbit hole. I have no problem with someone being trans; the thing that bothered me was the culture policing going on around deadnaming and shaming people. Then I found out about xenopronouns (ze/zem etc.) and it feels...odd. Like I’m playing this game of pretend where people get mad or shamed for not playing. Idk, I feel (cont)

like
Posting as :
works at
You are currently posting as works at
Highlighted IconHIGHLIGHTED

doesn’t sound like you’re really being supportive of the t in lgbt, which leads me to question the validity of your opening statement altogether. if you’re not comfortable with an aspect of queer culture, educate yourself first, put yourself in others’ shoes second, and then get over it third. but don’t lead with some disingenuous statement about how you’ve been supportive if you aren’t then follow it with an ignorant “but” statement. supportive doesn’t mean you get to just accept the easy things and discard the things that require YOU to change.

like

Just accept that you don't share the same lived experiences and may never fully "understand". It's ok to ask questions and to not have the answers - it's just not ok to dismiss a group of people's lived experiences because they're not yours or because you don't personally understand.

like

I'd encourage you to consider: - if something feels like "going too far" for you, it might mean going to an appropriate extent to someone else - you are lumping together Elliot Page's story with neopronouns, a different topic - this gives me the sense you're not seeking clarification for educational purposes on a specific issue but you're seeking to make a statement about "all this" - why is it bad to police deadnaming? Let's all monitor each other on deadnaming. Nobody is cancelling you for deadnaming. Best practice is correct yourself, move on, and do not do it again. - in a time of joy for trans people, is the best use of your time posting things like these to get verification that things are in fact "going too far"? Or is it using the opportunity of extra visibility and resources to further understand experiences of those of us who have always existed on the margins? I read a good take somewhere that said transition has no space for cis grief, only trans joy. I feel the joy of my trans siblings and those who use neopronouns and are otherwise pushing the margin of what is acceptable. I invite everyone to feel this joy with me, too.

likeupliftingsmarthelpful

No grief, only joy. Hear hear!

likeuplifting
Recent IconRecent

I’m not sure for purposes of this announcement if dead naming would have been incorrect...once. He’s a public figure transitioning into the correct gender. Stating that would help connect the dots. I was literally wanting to verify Elliott was transitioning from Ellen...That I had the right person. Facts don’t have to be disrespectful.

like

That’s how I feel about it

like

I only ever see this being a problem online. If someone is misgendered in real life, they usually just let them know what they prefer and the issue is over.

like

Easiest way to think about it: does following along result in people being oppressed, marginalized or killed? Does it result in you being oppressed, marginalized or killed? If the answer is no to both, eh - whatever works.

like

The word following along is what gets me there. I follow along. I don’t know if I embrace it. Maybe by asking the question I don’t?

What in the world bothered you about Elliot Page? Without specifics it’s hard to know what you are taking issue with. People want to be called by pronouns that reflect their identity. I don’t understand why calling people out who don’t respect that is an issue.

likeuplifting

OP tbh I feel like there have been enough discussions on this very post for you to be able to say "but I get it now and I will do more research and phrase things better next time" as that is the natural conclusion of asking for an educational conversation Every time I see a notification that theres more discussion on this post I keep waiting for that and it's not coming lol

like

It’s becoming a lot tbh, but at the end of the day it’s just labels and if a particular label makes someone feel more comfortable then I don’t mind

like

Sounds like you care even though it is really not that serious Just call people what they want to be called

I mean anyone that weaponizes anything meaningful (9/11, trans rights, childhood trauma) is being a c*nt. So, I agree with you there. But, without those people I also don’t think we would have arrived to where we are today. My stance is, it’s not my fight, but I will be a shoulder you can lean on.

Don’t let the post-modernists get to you. They use emotions as a “way of knowing”

Related Posts

Any Slalom Philly fish here? I was contacted by a recruiter and am interested in learning more about the office/culture

like

When a recruiter or a hiring manager ask you, "why are you looking to leave your current role?" What are some responses people give? Frankly, I hate this question....for me its always about more money, but I feel compelled to have to give them a bs answer like a better corporate culture, etc. Any better ideas?

like

What’s better being at a small consulting firm working with people you like and solid culture but lower pay. Or going to a bigger firm (Accenture, Big Four, etc.) with more competitive higher pay?

like

Anybody working at C3.ai open to chatting about culture and typical work?

like

How effective is the "crack the whip" model of management? New manager seems to love it, but I don't think our team is actually getting more down (and seems to not like the new culture)

like

Recently left consulting and moved to a high growth mid-sized startup. I’m struggling to get acclimated to the culture and my anxiety has gone up. Has anyone else experienced this before, any suggestions?

like

Guys, any idea on CDK Global? Do they pay well? What about WLB, work culture in Consulting (Bangalore location)? TIA

like

I’m in consulting because in my undergrad business school culture it was either finance (non corporate) or consulting. Industry was seen as failure. I never gave it second thought. Anyone else?

like

Have any of your associations put out a climate and culture survey to your union members? I'm hearing that there are many districts that have surveyed their members anonymously regarding assessing the climate and culture within their school community.  If so, would you please provide me with a list of possible questions that you would deem to be appropriate and effective to gauge any possible issues?  Naturally, the questions need to be without bias and completely anonymous. No Google forms.

like

PwC CMAAS. What is the culture/work like.

like

How is the wlb at A&M MAS? Not expecting it to be a 9-5 by any means but want to make sure I’m not stepping into some crazy culture. Any insight would be helpful.

like

Hi all, can anyone comment on the culture at Platinum Equity, in particular in the UK? Also, what are the different levels (hierarchy) and rough comp? @platinum equity

like

Hi All, I am from Performance Testing background and will joining Citi Group Account from TCS. Any idea on how the work culture and account is?

funnylike

Could use some 🐠 advice here! Two outstanding offers: - KPMG: Procurement Consulting Practice - Accenture: Business Intelligence Practice Both offers are comparable. What’s important to me: project variety, culture, growth, and wlb. I understand there are trade-offs, but which firm would be the best holistically. Any and all feedback is welcome!

like

Offer from Accenture Strategy for C2 at 130K, what's the highest signing bonus I can ask for? At D making 127K. Mostly switching due to subject matter and culture. Salary progression at AS

like

Anyone work at IBM Watson? If so what’s the culture like? IBM as a company?

like

Can anyone speak to the WLB and general culture in Direct Lending / Private Credit? ( Golub , ARES etc)

like

Came across a role at Deloitte in Richmond, VA today called HRST Talent Culture & Change Management Specialist. Can anyone give me insight into the type of role this is, day to day, comp, etc?

like

Kinda disturbing how intensely some folks ordering the iPhone X are being attacked online. Why does it matter if others want a phone? It seems to be another manifestation of the culture wars.

like

Hey Fam - KPMG recruiter reached out with cloud profile opening and I wanted to understand how big is sales pipeline and work culture

like

Additional Posts

What's the likelihood of making $1M+ annually 10 years after M7 MBA? What kind of roles / companies?

likehelpful

I’m due for a review and possibly a raise. Any thoughts on asking for a raise during a pandemic?

like

What are your to-go stores/web sites to find classroom items? (Storage, furniture, wall decor, etc) Really want to make my first year room adorable, but also struggling to find the best deals. HELP!

like

Guess we’re not gonna be opening up after all

Post Photo
likefunny

Is it easier to 1) go from one FAANG to the FAANG company of your choice? 2) go from a top agency to the FAANG company of your choice? In case that makes no sense: is it easier to go from Amazon to Google or from Wieden to Google?

like

Hello fishesh is it worth joining Accenture for 10 lakh P/A fixed with 1 lakh joining bonus? Current salary- 6.5 lakh Yoe- 3 Designation- Analyst

like

Anyone else ever feel like they are going to get fired every day?

like

If you apply for a remote position, will they adjust your salary based on where you live?

like

I’m going on my first travel project. What’s the best way and tips to earn the most reward? Would appreciate any suggestion

like

I’ve been in the same city for too long and want to move, but my agency is getting into a hybrid model. I feel like I missed the timeframe to jump cities during covid and need advice on how to navigate the conversation with my manager. Has anyone been able to do this recently without having to get a new job?

like

Anyone know if Sheraton Seattle has a lounge? Usually stay at one of the Marriotts there but switching it up this week.

like

First week in Big 4 and everyone is asking me to join their reinvest project… how do I say no? Or should I be taking in as much as possible? Just worried about burn out.

like

Let’s pretend we’re holding companies. I’ll start: No, we can’t hire an extra writer even though you’re clocking 70+ hours a week. BTW, our contract with your client caps billable hours per employee because they know we don’t pay overtime. Here’s a non-billable code you should start using for the rest of the year.

likefunny

I interviewed for a job in a diff location and during interviews they asked me multiple times how I felt abt relocating. I said it was fine, but the more I think about it the less I’m open to relocating. I now have an offer from them, is there anyway to negotiate no relocation? They are remote until mid year 2021. I’m Happy to fly in on a monthly basis but I don’t want to move there.

like

Interviewing from T2 to MBB, experienced hire. Anyone knows how much more difficult the interviews would be compared to entry-level interviews?

like

There is an echo when I speak on calls due to my home office being relatively empty. I added a carpet but hasn’t made as big an impact as I would like. Any tips

like

Ran out of inventory space, purging my closet with a giant yard sale! Come by and get DIYs, clothes, furniture and floors/walls. Bonus points if you have a papa bear or garden wagon to trade! J4Q3G

like

How safe is Houston downtown for a female staying alone with a young kid for a few months? Being very close to the office and daycare, and availability of public transport (doesn't drive) are reason for preffering downtown. However, have been reading about the recent crime surge there. If someone is generally back home by 8 PM or earlier, and will probably take Uber locally, is it still risky. Also welcome any good apartment suggestions. Thanks

like

Hi everyone, i need a referral in flipkart / walmart for Senior Software Engineer kind of role. Can someone help me out?

like

Any SE’s that have transitioned into sales roles here? Looking at making the switch as SE’s end up doing most the selling anyway. Would also allow me to be my own SE and the pay is way better as an Account Executive. Anyone have positive or negative experiences?

like

New to Fishbowl?

Download the Fishbowl app to
unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.
Download Fishbowl to see what others are saying
That was just a preview…
Sign Up to see all discussions
  • Discover what it’s like to work at companies from real professionals
  • Get candid advice from people in your field in a safe space
  • Chat and network with other professionals in your field
Sign up in seconds to unlock all discussions on Fishbowl.

Already a user?
Login here

Share

Embed this post

Copy and paste embed code on your site

Preview

Download the Fishbowl app

Get realtime notifications and see
what's happening in your industry
from the palm of your hand.