I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now. Everything is going pretty well except that our sex frequency is just….very bad like a sex every month or two…but when we actually had sex, the sex was great….I’m not sure how to talk to him about this…thoughts??

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I'm not sure why you're not sure how to talk to him about it? You should just talk to him about it by telling him what you're thinking in the usual manner that you two communicate. There isn't any particular required phrasing.

likesmart

When I’m horny I just ask “wanna fuck” then he basically always says “always” ;)

likehelpful

yeah agreeed i don’t think this is a particular tough conversation especially if it’s been a year, he might not have as high as sex drive, just meet in the middle!

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I’ve been in this situation - and tbh, he may not even be aware it’s bothering you. You deserve to be with someone who is meeting your needs - especially if you’re not open. I would be honest and say that you’ve been really horny lately, and would like to be having more sex, and that you enjoy pleasing him, and it’s something that makes you feel even more close to him. Try not to be accusatory. When I had this issue in the past I reframed it like I was the one in the wrong, and that I was going to try harder… don’t let things go stagnant for much longer ✌🏻

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I would refrain from making the mistake I made and said we don’t have a “normal” amount of sex or compare to what you think is typical. Otherwise just bring it up!

As someone with very high sex drive now married to someone with lower sex drive I’ll say a few things:
1. Idk what you’re defining as “sex” but we have sex very infrequently. Lots of other things to substitute where you’re still playing

2. We’ve talked about it and he’s fine if he uhh “Doesn’t go to the end” whereas I do. I think in a hookup it might be awkward, but we’ve talked about it.

But I agree with the others, talk it out!

Just ask, but also be sure to mention workarounds for any issues that might obviously impact sex frequency, like living too far apart or having different work schedules, or even just not seeing each other enough at a time when you both have time and energy (e.g. too many brunch dates where you have errands afterwards, not enough nighttime Netflix and chill).

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