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Pro
Part of your problem is that by not allowing yourself to explore it, you've worked it up into a fantasy. You may find that just going to lunch cures you because the reality of someone is always less intoxicating than the idea of them.
I agree. I don’t hate the idea of lunch. Frankly I think I’m worried I won’t be able to stop if this thing gets started.
Give it a chance.
The thought literally induces mild panic
Chief
I don’t understand this scenario. You said you’ve fallen for a guy - but you’re just exchanging looks? Have you talked to him or gone on any dates with him? If not, you haven’t really fallen for him… because you don’t know him.
It doesn’t seem like it’s a big deal. Just stop looking at him and focus on your workout.
We chatted some. I tried the ignore and pray thing already. EY1 I would really love to reclaim my focus. These feelings are massively inconvenient.
Tldr: don’t do anything you wouldn’t have wanted if he didn’t show interest.
If you don’t want to date and he does then I would suggest you defs don’t date just because he’s interested. Sounds simple but I’ve been in similar positions in the past, particularly one where I started dating someone because he was into me, I respected him and everyone around me told us we’d be great together. It didn’t last very long and I spent a lot of time being annoyed when he’d do something that made me unhappy because my mindset was stuck on “I was happily single. I’m dating you because you were so interested in me. And now you’re disappointing me”
Fast forward to today when I’m happily in a relationship with a partner I was ready to pursue a relationship with. I’d taken time to get over my insecurities / hesitations and figured out what I actually wanted in a significant other.
We’ve chatted a bit and I’m surprisingly really into him as a person, but from the little I know of him, we seem very different and I can’t see myself in his world or him in mine. Think former rock band member meets ethnic girl with a really traditional background.
Honestly, I thought we may just need to screw it out (no idea how I’d even propose this), but I feel this strange confidence that if I were to pursue this, it would mean so much more than physical attraction. I am already struggling to function as is. Today was wildly unproductive. I just ached and longed all day. It feels like a ridiculous high school crush.
Rising Star
Open the door then park it for when you do feel like it. He’ll jump at the chance, even if in a few months.
Chief
I’m going through something similar right now. I got the introductions and pleasantries out the way…was honest and said yes but not right now. He understood.
Conversation Starter
It’s not often that you get to feel chemistry with another guy. I think its worth a shot and you may decide that it’s too complicated and cannot be dealt with later. But I think you should take the shot you got! Keep us posted!!
Chief
Find a different gym or start going at a different time. If you genuinely want to avoid him… it’s easy enough to do.
Maybe he will reduce your anxiety levels. 🤣
Personally I just went through something similar and I let it go cause I’m not ready to date or have a hookup and didn’t feel like I had the energy to even start a conversation. But, I think it’s driving you a little up the wall so I would definitely suggest just have a little chat, exchange contact info, set up a small date, and go from there and remind yourself to have fun! You can also be upfront once you start talking about where you’re at and tell him you’re not looking for anything serious right now but open to a short term thing. And know that you can always back out at any time if you’re not comfortable. Just think through the possible outcomes and prepare what you would say or do and maybe that will help you with the anxiety. Cause I find not knowing what will happen and what I would do is what causes the anxiety.