{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I’ve had a very interesting experience with my manager as a new hire out of college. I’m all for constructive criticism, but feel like this is really destructive criticism with no aims of helping. One month within being hired, she told me that because I was so slow on picking up things, that she will have to work through her vacation to get things done on time. She constantly rejects my spreadsheets for things such as my font being Times New Roman 12 instead of 10, cont..", "post_id": "61722ca5d75d61003841ee1e", "reply_count": 48, "vote_count": 13, "bowl_id": "564a5cdb94887803001dd07c", "bowl_name": "Accounting" }

I’ve had a very interesting experience with my manager as a new hire out of college. I’m all for constructive criticism, but feel like this is really destructive criticism with no aims of helping. One month within being hired, she told me that because I was so slow on picking up things, that she will have to work through her vacation to get things done on time. She constantly rejects my spreadsheets for things such as my font being Times New Roman 12 instead of 10, cont..

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Hey OP, I realize that you are probably feeling down due to the feedback you're getting. If you are a campus hire, it can feel overwhelming being told all these ways you have to improve. I've been in your shoes before. I'm really sensitive to criticism myself. However, I want to play devil's advocate a little bit and get you to see her side. She has to work overtime and during her vacation to pick up the slack. The comment with your spreadsheets not being the right font seems petty to you, but if you can't do the small things right, how can she trust you to do bigger things later? I'm also a manager dealing with new hires and they seem to have a similar reaction to you. I tell them what things they can do better so they can improve, not necessarily criticize them to make them feel bad about themselves, yet they get super defensive and think I don't like them on a personal level. You are new, it takes time to develop and grow...and you're experiencing growing pains. Don't give up. Keep at it and you will get better.

likeupliftinghelpful

Well, everyone I have encountered at my firm is extremely LACKING in any ability to understand and empathize with a new hire and see their needs as a development and connection opportunities. .I believe in taking pride with my inclination to meet the needs of any individual who is willing to learn and create intentional interactions that produce a positive impact and foster a supportive environment. Self-awareness about what environment is being cultivated and fostered in this remote environment is crucial right now. Bland and non-inclusive leaders, who can not adapt, reflect badly on any organization

smart

My two cents is people will respect you whenever you put your foot down. Ask her for a meeting. Specifically point out with details how she has not made you feel good and the paint points/grievances you have with her management style. Then, leveraging a detailed example of yalls past interactions in which she exhibited toxic behavior, ask her to walk you through the logic of why she thought it was appropriate to speak to you in such a manner (chances are she won’t have a valid reason for her actions). Then, tell (or ask, but if you ask, then firmly ask) her that you will appreciate it if she doesn’t talk to you in that manner as it will lead nowhere. I’ve done this and it shuts them up real quick. American society and others unfortunately have a mindset inculcated in them since we were young to “listen to your elders/adults” without defying, questioning, etc. even when that would be the most rational decision. This leads to the behavior and fear that you cannot challenge someone’s blatantly erroneous behavior. Stand up for yourself and it will do you wonders and bring you to an environment where you are respected and treated as an equal.

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and if I didn’t save my workbook while it was on cell A1. She also constantly tells me to ask questions and I am definitely one to ask questions if I don’t understand something, but if I did ask, she gives such backhanded answers and gives me so much anxiety. I tried resorting to my coworkers for answers to questions to avoid being lectured for long periods of time, but my coworker mentioned to me that my manager told the team not to let me ask them any questions. I’ve never felt so enclosed before ?? I’ve worked at a bunch of internships in various fields prior and have never had such an aggressive manager before. I’ve tried mentioning I am trying my best and steps I am taking to do things and how I feel like her method of delivery is not very helpful for me, but I feel like she only calms down for like a day then back at it again 😅

likehelpful

Sounds like you’re paying someone else’s debt

I think some people in the comments are underestimating how detrimental it can be to work under a manager like this at the start of one’s career. Having been in a similar situation myself 3 years ago, I can tell you firsthand that a toxic manager will wreak havoc on a new hire’s confidence and performance. Regardless of your performance, just know that you are not the problem here OP. Fight like hell to get off of this engagement and try to transition to another team. Network with other seniors and managers and see if they’ll pick you up + alert your coach to what is going on. In my experience, people like this rarely change. You will eventually develop the tools and capabilities to deal with these types of people, but at this point in your career you should just be focused on learning as much as possible and it is much easier to do that with a supportive team.

likeupliftinghelpful

The people that nitpick at little useless things and criticize with no helpfulness in mind are usually insecure because deep down they know they are useless. Report it, then ignore the person and get off the project.

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So true. When these managers focus on things like that, more than likely they are not doing their job and feel the need to belittle others to compensate for it.

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You really need to hear both sides in these situations, but if all that is true, she is no manager. First, sorry if it sounds harsh, but realistically assess yourself. She may be tough, but some of it may be valid. People like her can make or break your career with that firm; and you’ll meet plenty on your way. Most of the time they are dealing with their own insecurities. Unfortunately for you, you started with this. Start doing really well on your other engagements and hopefully roll off this one. Last resort, leave and start somewhere else. Don’t listen to anyone, but do what feels right for you. Remember you went to college, did your part, and deserve a fair chance. Just don’t get discouraged.

likesmart

Be careful of the people telling you to leave. Everyone is hurting for talent and they want referral bonuses. Give your manager some grace and realize she's probably stressed out because she has to work so hard to develop new talent. It's very draining...

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Ultimately, as with anything in life, it would depend on the exact circumstances and context to know the appropriateness and reasonableness of the manager's tactics in this case. The OP, a new hire, makes a good point that this management tactic isn't very helpful. When you look at the volume of work that must be completed in the field, I'm not sure that it's reasonable to expect the staff to be able to answer all of the why questions . One minute your told to follow that audit program and use the prior years as a guide, and then next your supposed respond to a series of why questions. That's ridiculous. Why can't the manager be a professional and do some initial knowledge transfer to the new hire and lead the relationship instead of just to keep repeatedly asking "why" and then "why lol"? Sure, there may be an occasion to ask for an in depth justification of some action in PA, but for a new hire in this context--come on! Looking at this from the outside (and not just the perspective of the OP), something is way off here with the entire system of management and communication. It would be interesting to know the kind of situation the particular manager is under--how is he/she being managed? What kinds of "why" questions is he/she getting from the senior mgr/partners? Is the mgr really bein legitimately challenged? What induced this person to manage in this way, and what are the prospects for the career of this manager?

You really should quit now. There are so many opportunities out there right now where you will be appreciated and treated well. Literally every accounting firm is begging people to join.

like

Had a similar experience as an intern. As others have mentioned, we as individuals have to do a bit of self reflection and determine what is valid feedback and what is just people laying the smackdown on you. You’ll quickly realize that some of the minor grievances seniors/managers/etc have are primarily a matter of personal preference, as opposed to an actual “mistake” (such as not saving the file on cell A1, font size, size of screenshots). While it is important to get the small details right, your peers and superiors have to be conscious that making mistakes is part of learning and becoming proficient (repeated mistakes on the same tasks is a different conversation). Remember to always keep your cool and be professional, as that will reflect better on you when/if you communicate your manager’s behavior. Unfortunately, this is all part of the “corporate dance” but remember it’s temporary and use this as a learning experience.

likehelpful

She’s a bully.

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Terrible manager leave come join b4. I was in your position not too long ago. When I was in your shoes I made tons of mistakes. Failure is how you learn. Can’t believe this manager would do that .

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That’s a toxic situation that won’t get better in my opinion. There are an abundance of job openings right now. I would try somewhere else before you start to develop unwarranted self doubt.

Why would you use times new Roman?

Isn’t it Arial is what ppl use ?

Love everyone saying “terrible for you, why don’t you quit and join my team??” Don’t let people see you as $$$$ OP. That’s why you should totally quit this toxic situation and join my team!

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New one on me: "any bows I need to tie before I go on vacation?"

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