I’ve managed well during all of this and am approaching my first full year of sobriety. But the thoughts of “I want to get slammed at a bar when this is over” are starting.

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A couple things come to mind, and this is just based on my experience and things I’ve learned about how my brain works.

When I start thinking like this, I have to recognize that I’m fantasizing about some FUTURE event. It’s not real; it’s a fiction that my brain is creating. And if I’m living in that fiction (a fiction which conveniently omits the fact that I’ll likely black out and cause incredible havoc for myself and others), it means I’m not living in the present. I’m missing the “now”, and I’m certainly not living “one day at a time”, which is the only way I’ve maintained long term sobriety (relatively speaking).

When i’m having one of these “future trips” (as I like to call them) I’m also being incredibly selfish right now. I’m being mean (or distant) to the people who I care about (and who care about me), and if I actually do go ahead and drink, I’m no longer giving a sh*t about anyone and my alcoholic craving kicks in. If that happens, see ya later ✌️. Bye bye relationships, money, respect, dignity, friends, self worth, health, etc.

If I focus on making today a good sober day, “tomorrow” (or the day the bars open, or any point in the future for that matter) no longer has the power to create the anxiety that tries to convince me that drinking is a good idea.

It’s the first drink that kills me, not the last.

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This is fantastic advice. I’m a euphoria chaser myself and one of the things I’ve also worked on when I can’t get out of the future or “what if” is not glorifying or living for the euphoric high but rather playing the whole tape forward and thinking through the entirety of my actions (what preceded and follows the drinking). When I do, I almost always find some root cause that’s on my 4th step list precedes it and (often) something that will end up on my 8th/9th follows it.

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How do you deal with those thoughts? Do you play the tape forward?

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Same here. Following.

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