{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "I’ve put on about 20 lbs during covid lockdowns and haven’t lost a pound since. My SO loves me but (and I agree) has always been big about us keeping appearance and weight in check, first for our health but also for overall attraction. His take is if a disease somehow made me put on weight there’s not a comment he would make but in this case it’s really bad exercise and diet habits. I don’t disagree but I’ve never been so far from my target weight that I just don’t know where and how (cont)", "post_id": "61472b238f88520022bfb055", "reply_count": 103, "vote_count": 14, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "Coronavirus Work-life" }

I’ve put on about 20 lbs during covid lockdowns and haven’t lost a pound since. My SO loves me but (and I agree) has always been big about us keeping appearance and weight in check, first for our health but also for overall attraction. His take is if a disease somehow made me put on weight there’s not a comment he would make but in this case it’s really bad exercise and diet habits. I don’t disagree but I’ve never been so far from my target weight that I just don’t know where and how (cont)

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My whole family swears by WeightWatchers’ point system. You get a certain amount of points a day and access to search pretty much any food you want to eat against the catalog and it’ll tell you how many points you’ve got left. It helps you meal plan day-to-day and doesn’t restrict types of food. You can stick with what you’re eating now and just eat less, but more than likely you’ll be driven to eating healthier foods so you can eat more of them. My aunt got in such good shape with it they had her be an ambassador, and my sister (who has struggled to maintain a healthy weight for as long as I can remember) only trusts herself on WW. I’m in the same boat of gaining significant weight for the first time in my life, and will probably start with lifting whatever handheld weights we have in the house. If you don’t want to spend money, start here, look into nutrition blogs, and download the LoseIt app to log calories and weight. If you have money to spend on this, consider hiring a nutritionist. If how you eat isn’t sustainable, but you can’t slow down (like me with beer and wine 😬), a nutritionist might be the key to helping you break out of your new ties to unhealthy food. At the minimum they’ll show you healthy alternatives and these will add up. Final advice: 20 sounds daunting so try to break this into something manageable, e.g this month I want to lose 2 lbs. Large goals make me give up, but if I say: I want to be _this weight_ in this _short time interval_, it’s much more doable. The fact that you’re working to be in shape/ more attractive for your partner will be enough for them— you don’t owe them weight loss, just effort!

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Thanks! Yes I think some of it for me is probably mental too. I turn to food when stressed and bored. The harder thing to shift is going to be preferences. I truly love processed foods even though I know they’re awful for me. I never have preferred home cooked food to eating out. It’s weird because I grew up around v good cooking but I think fast food has some true addictive qualities lol

Agree with a lot of the tips shared here. One thing to keep in mind is that this shouldn’t be viewed as a punishment or done with any sort of resentment. That’s why a lot of times fad or restrictive diets don’t work. Think about your overall health and well-being goals and set behaviors that move you toward that goal. Allow for flexibility and fun, but also establish a baseline behavior that is generally geared toward nutrient-dense foods and staying active. It will probably take a bit of initial effort to build this baseline and more conscious monitoring, but eventually it will be come second nature and just something you do and don’t really have to think about. What I’ve found to be helpful when trying to get back into a regular exercise routine is pair it with something else I enjoy - a podcast, audiobook or show then only listen to it while I’m doing that activity. So it’s a motivation of “You want to learn what happens next? you better get moving!” I also am a bit competitive and very visual so I’ll create a little bit of a goal sheet that is physical list that I can check off for the first ~2 weeks of trying to introduce a new habit. I find 2 weeks of consistently doing something is enough for it to become a regularly occurring thing for me so I typically don’t need the list beyond that point. Some people do this for more or less time, it’s really whatever works for you. Lastly, do not be too hard on yourself. Rest days are important. Mental health is important. Forgive my cheesiness, but it’s a marathon not a sprint. If you need to slow down and walk (take a break or adjust something) do it. Just keep moving forward.

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One thing to add when trying to adjust diet - ask yourself: are hungry or are you bored/procrastinating? I can definitely fall into cycles of mindless snacking and to break myself out of this I start to ask myself that question. Am I genuinely hungry, or am I just looking to fill time or avoid doing XYZ? If I’m hungry, you bet I’m going to eat. If it’s one of the other two, I move away from the kitchen to reduce the temptation.

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I’m your age, female, and have been skinny my entire life. Over the past year, I put on 23lbs. I also lost all of that weight in about four months. Here’s what I did. 1. IF to restrict calories I was consuming (skipped breakfast) 2. Religiously tracked every calorie (food scale to measure out all ingredients while cooking to calculate amount of calorie in my prepared dish, then weigh out my portion to see how many calories in it). 3. Walked a lot (I did about 15k steps everyday, sometimes more, 20k steps if I wanted to eat junk food). Most days I walked for 1.5-2 hours. This was my only form of exercise. 4. Made sure I was in a calorie deficit everyday (at least 500 cals). 5. Used Noom. It’s annoying but it helped me change the way I think about food. I went from 123lbs -> 100lbs. I am 5’1, F, and this was the first time in my life I had lost weight.

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IF + myfitnesspal turned into a straight up eating disorder for me and while I know that is not everyone’s experience it is something to be conscious of

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I can help you OP! I coach people just like us to lose fat and I’m damn good at it. Some of the advice in here is to good - some of it crap. At the end of the day what’s going to get you the most results are: - sleep - calorie deficit via a diet plan you enjoy (I prefer macros) - weight training - hitting a step count - managing stress Don’t look for quick fixes, look for sustainable! Again, happy to talk further!

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Excellent advice A1. OP you are not alone. Many of us gained weight this year. Give some thought to what has changed for you last year to help you get back on track. I dropped my weight mostly by stopping the boredom snacking. I also stopped ordering in so much. I try to plan a bit better for meals and I removed most dairy from my diet. Rather than diet I looked for healthier options. You might want to consider picking up a food scale. It really is helpful in being able to visualize what a portion looks like. Im envious of the people who were able to self motivate to continue their exercise. I’ve gotten back into tennis which has helped me to keep moving and the social aspect improved my mood a lot.

MyFitnessPal. Free and uses the only actual way to lose weight: calorie restriction. As a woman, if you only eat 1200 a day, you will lose weight and CDC/FDA says that’s a healthy level of caloric restriction.

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I had to lose 70 plus after COVID. Restrictive diets don’t work in my opinion. My diet you eat 5-6 times a day every 2-3 hours. 4oz of Protein, 1 Table spoon of healthy fat and as many green veggies as you want but no carbs or sugar. It’ll start falling off.

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Curious how old you are. I’m 52 and in the same boat. I want to try what you did. Thank you

What you eat matters more than when. Avoid sugar and carbs (especially processed carbs). Avoid alcohol. Everyone should read books like Why We Get Fat. You can’t exercise and calorie limit yourself to losing weight (at least not sustainably). And not to offer relationship advice, but your SO knows you’re going to put weight on as you age right?

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Listen to D2

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My SO lost 70 lbs and kept it off for over 10 years by food logging with My Fitness Pal and exercise. Food logging was the primary determinant, since you can’t out exercise a bad diet. Obesity is a comorbidity for COVID, so in hindsight this was the best thing to help keep us healthy and alive to be together for the long term.

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What does losing weight have to do with your SO?

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As OP here I completely agree. My SO has highlighted many times that if any health condition or life event caused weight gain it’s totally fine and he fully expects weight gain as I age. He’s just concerned by how quickly I gained the weight and has noted my poorer eating habits and lack of exercise. It’s the part of my weight that’s in my control that he’s worried about. I’m 100% sure if this was due to some thyroid condition or something like that he would not be bringing it up. In that case he would ask I work with my doc in coming up with the right plan for my overall health and be at peace with it

What’s with the idea that OPs SO is evil if he cares about her physical appearance, and vice versa? Of course health is important, but so is both people trying to look their (age appropriate) best for each other. If neither person cares about physical attraction, then no problem, but most people do, and losing physical attraction will magnify other relationship issues.

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If you care about your partner’s weight gain does that make you a superficial jerk? Are you allowed to care about what your partner looks like?

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Are you ok? It sounds like you initially resisted your partners feedback before eventually succumbing to it. Is it possible you’ve gained weight due to unhappiness in your relationship? If gaining this weight is so unusual I’d think you’d have an easy time loosing it and would know exactly what to do to revert back to your previous lifestyle.

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Start without giving up in a couple days. Yes I know the answer is eat less and exercise but this is the first time I’m looking at 20 lbs not 5 lbs like I historically have been managing. I’ve also crossed 30s so as a female it’s just harder now. Before I dieted a week and was back to normal. Any tips to make this less daunting?

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Largely doing it for me but also a bit for him. Doing it for me because genuinely feel more tired and lethargic holding onto this extra weight. It has definitely affected my confidence. As for my SO,everyone can have a different take but it’s important I look the best I can, to the extent it’s in my control. I would be way more upset about his comments around my weight if it was related to a disease. That’s v different than commenting that you’re worried about me ordering doordash four days in a row lol

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OP: You don’t have to do this alone! Have you considered getting a badass female personal trainer a couple of times a week to motivate you and keep you accountable? Try weight bearing and resistance exercises, as well as some cardio. It’s not just about being skinny. Muscle tissue is metabolically more active and burns more calories than fat tissue. The more muscles you have, the more calories your body burns while doing nothing. Plus, stronger muscles increase bone density. And when you do more exercise, you feel better and are motivated to eat better. Your outer appearance is a result of what’s happening on the inside!

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Agreed! Covid has had me a little hesitant but I may hire a trainer and nutritionist to Nell me. It’s easier when you’re held accointable

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Lose that weight asap. Being overweight is a significant risk factor for covid infections. I would recommend going keto. It's tasty and very effective. Good luck.

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No keto. What’s your beef with counting calories ACD1? What gets measured gets managed…

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I too have been on Weight Watchers. I am a lifetime member and have been for many years. I did it because I am genetically inclined to become a diabetic and so far, I haven't. WW teaches you how to eat healthy and I originally lost the weight without any type of excercise. I do a lot of walking, or I did before the COVID shutdown. I have got to get back to walking.

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Irony is - same situation. They forced me to come back to the office and I'm not saying that I'm back to normal, but it actually helped. Getting up each morning, getting dressed (realizing your old dresses don't fit anymore), going to work, fridge not being by your side all the time, walking around at work, actually going to lunch somewhere, feeling the need to eat healthy because someone is watching etc... Sooo... Next to the dear old, move more, eat less, I can only add that going back to the office actually helped 😅

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It sounds like your mental block is because the goal is so far away. Do goal chunking and dual goals. One goal about weight and one goal about discipline. For example, I would like to lose 5lb in two weeks and I would like to hit my calorie intake 7 days in a row.

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1. Eat as slowly as you can. It takes about 20 min for your body/ brain to realize "food is in". One way to eat slowly is take the smallest bites you can and chew thoughtfully. 2. Focus on protein - animal protein, not soy or beans or legumes. If you need a snack, get some chicken salad (yes, the version with mayo, especially if you do the slow eating and small bites above). 3. Eat what you love with the small bites and slow eating, make your brain happy, throw away the extra rice/potatoes/ pasta/ noodles. Carbs are treats that don't taste half as good as chocolate. 4. Walking is good. Lifting weights is good, like a 3 or 5-lb hand weight. Find what you can stick to.

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You can substitute avocado for mayo

If you are not covid concerned, then orange theory or bikram yoga will set everything straight with 4 months of commitment. If you are, a peloton or any of the recommendations from the other replies will work.

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I’ve been using the free lose it app where it counts the calories for you and you can log workouts

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