Posting as :

a VP, HR

Just a thought to discuss. I grew up in USSR, my mom and dad both worked at the airport and my mom was working shifts (2/2) as she was a chemical engineer approving planes engine conditions as acceptable to fly. So ever since I was 8, I was going to school by myself, I was picking up my brother from kindergarten and taking him home. I was feeding him and myself with stuff my parents left in the fridge. As an HR I talk a lot with female employees who are trying to make it all work. Keep reading

2 months

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works at

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works at

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Author

a VP, HR

And one thing I noticed which might be anecdotal is that many working moms are trying to do things as good as stay-at-home moms. Maybe that’s cause what they saw from their mothers? It’s getting them overwhelmed and anxious about their inability to meet their own performance standards. I’m not saying that you need to decrease your standards, I think we need to change them. Perfect goal for our kids now would be better independency, accountability and confidence. If you make them responsible for chores, start expecting independence, it may give them more confidence to succeed later in life.

2 months

Posting as :

a Product Manager 1

Enthusiast

At the end of the day, those standards are what though? The food the kids eat? The supervision they have after school. The homework help they have on difficult subjects. It's not pinterest level bday parties those moms are worried about. But eating veggies instead of hot cheetos, quality TV and good influences and homework help and extra tutoring. I don't think any mom wants less for her children, and working moms are already stretched thin. No mom just wants their kids to survive. She wants the best for them. Asking to lower standards just sets the next generation up for failure because of neglect, all for some employer that doesn't care anyway.

2 months

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works at Deloitte 1

Norms have changed. People used to leave doors open and let kids run down the street to visit friends unsupervised. Now with pedophiles and kidnapping cases becoming more common, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable letting an 8 year walk home by themselves.

2 months

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works at EY 2

So just a thought to discuss. You started the conversation making it about other people and it turns out to be about you. I’m not trying to be mean here but I was all on board with your note until it became something about how you were awesome as a kid, and now are awesome as a mom. Perhaps I am projecting here but feel some judgement from you on us soft moms who are struggling daily with kids at home all the time and all the days.

2 months

Posting as :

a Senior Associate 1

Thanks, I needed this perspective. I was also a latch key kid, responsible for my younger brother, at a much younger age than is common now. In such hard times, growing up fast can be a good thing if we give kids the tools and believe in them.

2 months

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works at EY 1

Mentor

I love this and agree 💯 outrageous that people are callling DCFS over children being alone at a playground down the block.

2 months

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works at EY 1

Mentor

I remember reading in Bringing Up Bebe that a child should be able to do “everything that concerns them” like dressing, feeding, cleaning by age 6! I am working towards that as a goal.

2 months

Additional Posts

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a Senior Consultant

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works at IBM (unverified)

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works at Deloitte

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works at Deloitte

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