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Working Moms

Just a thought to discuss. I grew up in USSR, my mom and dad both worked at the airport and my mom was working shifts (2/2) as she was a chemical engineer approving planes engine conditions as acceptable to fly. So ever since I was 8, I was going to school by myself, I was picking up my brother from kindergarten and taking him home. I was feeding him and myself with stuff my parents left in the fridge. As an HR I talk a lot with female employees who are trying to make it all work. Keep reading

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And one thing I noticed which might be anecdotal is that many working moms are trying to do things as good as stay-at-home moms. Maybe that’s cause what they saw from their mothers? It’s getting them overwhelmed and anxious about their inability to meet their own performance standards. I’m not saying that you need to decrease your standards, I think we need to change them. Perfect goal for our kids now would be better independency, accountability and confidence. If you make them responsible for chores, start expecting independence, it may give them more confidence to succeed later in life.

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At the end of the day, those standards are what though? The food the kids eat? The supervision they have after school. The homework help they have on difficult subjects. It's not pinterest level bday parties those moms are worried about. But eating veggies instead of hot cheetos, quality TV and good influences and homework help and extra tutoring. I don't think any mom wants less for her children, and working moms are already stretched thin. No mom just wants their kids to survive. She wants the best for them. Asking to lower standards just sets the next generation up for failure because of neglect, all for some employer that doesn't care anyway.

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Norms have changed. People used to leave doors open and let kids run down the street to visit friends unsupervised. Now with pedophiles and kidnapping cases becoming more common, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable letting an 8 year walk home by themselves.

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So just a thought to discuss. You started the conversation making it about other people and it turns out to be about you. I’m not trying to be mean here but I was all on board with your note until it became something about how you were awesome as a kid, and now are awesome as a mom. Perhaps I am projecting here but feel some judgement from you on us soft moms who are struggling daily with kids at home all the time and all the days.

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Thanks, I needed this perspective. I was also a latch key kid, responsible for my younger brother, at a much younger age than is common now. In such hard times, growing up fast can be a good thing if we give kids the tools and believe in them.

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I love this and agree 💯 outrageous that people are callling DCFS over children being alone at a playground down the block.

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I remember reading in Bringing Up Bebe that a child should be able to do “everything that concerns them” like dressing, feeding, cleaning by age 6! I am working towards that as a goal.

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Additional Posts

How many years in consulting (non MBA) does it typically take in a high COL city to get to > $170k in base salary? Have a friend that is 3 years out of college already @ 160 at a boutique IT firm 🧐

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Anyone feel like it’s not worth working around the hours anymore? Hard to stay motivated knowing that bonus and raises are cut, and promos are only for rare cases. Understand covid really hit us hard, but I’m still working just as hard and as much (if not more)

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Where can I take my wife on a 5 day vacation next week? We're in NYC and we're hoping for good weather with things to do. Have to stay in country

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How do you guys do it with all the flying? I hate the change in pressure, I feel sick all the time, there are turbulent rides, delayed travel etc. it’s all just so terrible.

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Any consultants based in Dubai who could share insights on culture, work hours, travel and comp at Manager/SM for KPMG, PwC or EY? EY PwC KPMG

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Anyone work at ePam? How’s the culture / compensation. Potentially looking into their OCM consulting practice.

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Anyone have experience with clients who love to write copy? What strategies did you use to deal with it? My writers are frustrated and giving less effort

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Interviewing for a boutique firm for SC. Any suggestions how to go about it?

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On a local project.. and management refuses to let me expense my mileage to client office.. but they let another local team member expense weekly car rental on premise that he doesn't own a car. Fair?

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Anyone working at Snap currently? I know they had a bad rep but curious what the culture is like now and if it’s a good place to work (especially as a woman or POC).

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Anyone ever hear of agencies hiring a writer team? This is something that interests me, but obviously it’s a pretty unconventional thing. But hey, we live in the digital age right?!

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Is an MBA from UT-Austin's McCombs B-School a target for MBB?

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Plural tutoring session anyone? Looking to do as a weekend job. Current target OPs are "Has there been layoffs" and "What's your thoughts" but happy to expand.

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Amazon comp questions - I’ve heard it’s typically lower in terms of Base. I’m in the interview process for a non- tech program manager role, and ideas on what I should expect here?

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Transferring from US to UK. What are the standard benefits you get as a big 4 senior manager/director? Like phone? Car? Fitness allowance?

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Anyone in SF/ San Jose? f25

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Gave my brother a $100 delta voucher, the little things in life that can make non consultants so happy. Hopefully good karma :)

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Where is your favorite place to get classroom tools/supplies?

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