Just been told I can't go to an extended family dinner (birthday celebration planned a month ago) because we have to "make as much progress as possible" on some advice not due until next week. I have the day off tomorrow, which I offered to use to catch up on work missed tonight. No dice. But I can still take my day off??? This doesn't make sense to me.

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Seriously take a step back and forget that you’re a big law associate for a second. No one at the firm can stop you from going to a family event, in actuality. You’re stopping yourself. Set some boundaries and push back.

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I think you’re going to need to clarify with the partner. If it’s really important to you to go then you can ask again if you can make up the time tomorrow and over the weekend if they’ll reconsider because this is an important family commitment. So frustrating.

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I’d just say “I’ll make it up tomorrow.” Don’t ask permission.

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This is usually my approach too, but sounds like OP already asked. But I agree usually better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

I’ll add that if you get one of those partners who says “when I was an associate I had to cancel time off/never took time off” you should respond “and did you enjoy that, is that something you want to wish on someone else?”

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“And now I have alllllll this” he said before dying at 55 of a massive stroke

How will they know if you go? Are you physically in the office with these people tonight or need to send them anything during the dinner?

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“Do you have an update on the eta here?” … f—ing kill me.

Go and tell your boss “no.” Tell him he’ll get the work product at “[time and date].” If he can’t handle this kind of boundary, he doesn’t deserve associates.

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So did you go to the dinner??

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