{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Just did a presentation with my team to my manager. Few minutes before the meeting started I asked my manager- whom I kinda have a chill way of communication with- if they will make it on time (since they were on a call)-> me trying to be proactive. Fastforward, this manager came in 7mins late because of a client call and was frustrated from the get go, making weird remarks at me for \"spamming\", the 2 messages I sent them before the meeting (while my team was there listening (?)). [Continued]", "post_id": "6092cc4740a6b300284f3b0b", "reply_count": 32, "vote_count": 4, "bowl_id": "552d1d24dc1c586b09d2d051", "bowl_name": "Consulting", "feed_type": "crowd" }
null

Just did a presentation with my team to my manager. Few minutes before the meeting started I asked my manager- whom I kinda have a chill way of communication with- if they will make it on time (since they were on a call)-> me trying to be proactive. Fastforward, this manager came in 7mins late because of a client call and was frustrated from the get go, making weird remarks at me for "spamming", the 2 messages I sent them before the meeting (while my team was there listening (?)). [Continued]

likehelpful
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Not cool to attack in public and apologize in private. Literally the opposite of exemplary qualities of a leader.

For your own growth, good to learn to de-escalate and maintain your dignity. It’s never dignified to respond sarcastically. Let this experience help you build your patience and perspective taking - the manager was having a bad day, so it’s not about you. Detach a little bit. If the manager continues to be rude and unhelpful then look to move.

likehelpful

You act like how reasonable adults act when someone makes a mistake and then gives an honest apology. Forgive and move on, but don’t forget about it because if it ever does happen again and develops into a pattern that is when it’s a problem.

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Read through this and I have to agree with everyone saying let it go. Any sour feelings you have because the manager didn’t apologize in front of people is petty—and a sign of immaturity. I don’t say that to be rude or invalidate your feelings, I say that as a 31 year old manager who reacted very similarly to you at the beginning of my career and now see a bit of the other side.

It’s hard to not take things personally when you’re doing all the work (esp at the analyst level) and putting a lot of preparation into your presentations. But things change as you get further in your career, internal meetings become far less important than client meetings and b/c we’re all human (dealing with personal things, family stressors, etc) sometimes we lose our temper and act petulant.

To me, at my age, a private apology is much more sincere than a public one (it’s less about saving face and more about expressing the intent) and being able to see it as that— to me, expresses maturity. Hope this provides a different perspective.

smarthelpful
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wtf? if the manager offered a sincere apology, I'd accept and move on... unless the behavior continues... otherwise I'd be looking for a new team to join

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It’s good they apologized and I think that should be it. Don’t forget tho!
Would be even better of them to also apologize on a call with others if the meeting where this happened is a recurring one with typically the same attendees.

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Yea I feel it. I agree that ppl are human but it’s frustrating when management takes out their anger on analysts/consultants bc to me theres no doubt a degree of power that allowed them to not think twice before their action. We know damn well no matter what was going on in their day, if you were a senior they’d stop before they did what they did.

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You know I'm on this app as well??

funny

Let’s have a call and figure this out I would say

funny

Fastforward, while I was presenting I heard them typing something and made a sarcastic comment, saying they are not paying attention (perhaps shouldn’t have done this since the situation was already heated, but I didn’t like how they entered the call attacking me in front of my peers and me standing there saying nothing in return/defending myself. So you can say I did it on purpose)

Then they went even further saying if I continue they will leave the meeting. So I zipped and continued presenting.
After the presentation ended, they privately apologised for the way they had acted in the call.
This is a first time in my career something like this has happened to me. How would you approach this?

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People are human. They make mistakes. This person apologized to you. What else is there to do here? Why do you need to “approach” anything? Unless it’s a pattern why would you ever mention it again?

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Stop being all jokey jokey when the other person isn’t feeling it.

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TIME TO EXIT

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This is like normal human behavior stuff, ppl have bad days and then make a mistake and apologize. You oughta let it go and focus on mending the relationship.

Just wait until your SM tells you to do something, you do it, it blows up on the client side, and then they throw you under the bus for it. Those are the real fun times.

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Yes it was toxic lol. My point is your situation seems relatively normal, I wouldn’t over analyze it. If it keeps happening then you prob do have a problem.

This is an opportunity to build trust. Your manager apologised. By you taking the high road, you will be looked at in a very positive light. People have off days, I would forgive and forget.

Document everything (even the apology). Seriously, CYA. Once a snake, always a snake.

How should I document the stuff the happened during the call?
Also at this point I might be better off leaving the team (or even the company)

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