{ "media_type": "text", "post_content": "Just ended my 1.5 year long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I had been getting bored over the last few months and found myself questioning if he could be my “one.” I am 23 and am just starting my new job with GS and moving back to NYC. I am confident in my decision, do you all agree? I needed a clean slate for work so I can dedicate myself and not always be traveling to see someone who is still in college/has no career direction. Any advice welcome!", "post_id": "5f7e071767b14000240f7f40", "reply_count": 28, "vote_count": 17, "bowl_id": "5e6fe1c31f5e51001d267e46", "bowl_name": "The Work-Life Bowl", "feed_type": "bowl" }

Just ended my 1.5 year long distance relationship with my boyfriend. I had been getting bored over the last few months and found myself questioning if he could be my “one.” I am 23 and am just starting my new job with GS and moving back to NYC. I am confident in my decision, do you all agree? I needed a clean slate for work so I can dedicate myself and not always be traveling to see someone who is still in college/has no career direction. Any advice welcome!

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If you’re confident in your decision you don’t need our validation. Do your thing!


Agreed - 23 is young and you have plenty of time to find "the one." Go have fun in the city and live your own life! Being in a long distance relationship is such a downer on your social life (speaking from experience)


Thank you for this!


Career and relationship aren’t mutually exclusive. It seems like it’s more a you don’t like him anymore problem rather than a you want to focus on career problem.


Agreed, thank you.


Here is the test: if you find yourself having to excuse yourself at work to go cry in the bathroom over the unbearable loss of this person, you should rethink the breakup. If after a week or two you think of him and it’s fine, then you made the right decision. I was always a free spirit, would rather be single than dating the wrong person, anticommital. So I would bail when I got to a bumpy road. Then I met this shining star of a woman (also super independent, noncommittal) and afternoon a few months, we broke up due to our strong personalities. After that I found myself in the office bathroom sobbing. So I called her back up and married her. MADLY in love ever since, been a honeymoon for 8 years. Was 34 when we met. IT IS WORTH THE WAIT!! 😍😘❤️


I love that, thank you for sharing!


Being confident in your decision means not immediately following it up with a request for validation :) Otherwise, sounds like you made the best decision for you at this time. You go girl! Or boy! Have a fabulous time in NYC.


Thank you!

You made the exact right call. Enjoy GS, focus on you for a while, and you will meet endless new people in NYC...


Good luck at GS! New starts are always refreshing and I think you made the right decision especially since the ex may not have had a direction for a career. I’m in the NYC area too so hit me up if you’re looking for a casual night out!


@EY2 you were sliding into the LinkedIn DMs so I thought you were looking for a new job especially with that new vacation policy coming out haha


I would not use long distance to decide to break up. If you are a driven professional with clear goals and he is that undeclared C average student still then that is a far bigger reason to look elsewhere assuming you want a likeminded driven professional.


That was the situation.

Long distance can work just really depends on the why. I met my first girlfriend my Sr year and we were engaged all through college. I wanted a PHD in math and she flunked out and got a job in our hometown. She agreed when I got admitted to grad school to get married and come with me. Well she backed out. Wedding got cancelled she gave the ring back didn’t want to break up just decided she didn’t want to follow me across country when I didn’t have a job. In hindsight it was more logical than I was willing to admit at the time. It was a rocky summer for me. I decided I’d go and if I found someone else then i was done with her. I spent my first semester studying my backside off taking six classes and never asked a single girl out. At Christmas I gave her the ring back and said I’d be ok waiting till I graduate and would even take a job back home if she was ok with it. In my third year in the middle of qualifying exams studying 10 hours on Saturdays. After spring break I decided I wanted a wife more than a PhD. Talked to professor I really liked and wrote a thesis in 6 weeks and applied to graduate with a masters. Packed my bags up in May, got a local job and got married. We have been together dating/engaged/engaged again/married for 20 years and have 5 kids. Oh and family on both sides still talk about how they were ready to tackle her and drag her back to alter if she tried to make another run for it.


You’ve got time to explore and should have a little freedom settling into your new exciting life. If you had any doubts about the relationship, now is the time to end it and explore yourself. If it’s meant to be, maybe you’ll meet again down the line, if not, better things ahead!


I did the same thing a few years ago when I got my first full time job in NYC and it was one of the best decisions I’ve made!


I think you made the right call. Did you end it on a good note or was he sad?


Can I slide in your LinkedIn dms?


@Deloitte 1 Hitting us where it hurts the most.

you’re correct in your decision. starting at GS and in NYC is a dream for many, enjoy!


Only you know what's best for you. We obviously don't know the dynamics of your relationship and there are always 3 sides to every story. However, if you are happy and feel at peace with your decision, then it is probably the best decision for you. Ultimately, we are only a bunch of strangers online and don't have enough insight into your life to advise if it's right or wrong. As a matter of fact, even if we did, it's your life, your path, your choices. Best of luck with GS & the move back to NYC!


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